Reading between the lines...questions from non-IT people
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mikepwilson wrote:
Technology hates him. I've never seen anyone have so many problems from normal judicious use of a computer or smartphone. It's impressive.
So You haven't met MY Brothers. One asked me to fix his email. What happened is he forgot his password. :wtf:
David
He called me on my way in to work this morning. One of those "fake anti-virus" trojans. "But I didn't DO anything." "The fact that it's there proves that's not true." He wasn't pleased. But dammit! Stop clicking on s***!
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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I here old server used for a table. Cheap, it was.
You master are.
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You master are.
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People misuse "bandwidth" all the time. They confuse real bandwidth with the data transfer rate. In engineering, bandwidth refers to the range of frequencies contained in a given band.
The difficult we do right away... ...the impossible takes slightly longer.
Drawing a distinction between those terms may be technically correct (i.e. analog's bandwidth vs digital's data transfer rate), but I see the terms being used interchangeably much more often than not. Actually, I just now scanned a few "Intel white papers" the older ones tend to use the terms interchangeably, at least one new paper avoids either term and uses "frequency" to imply either depending on whether they're discussing the analog or digital side of the chip. I'll pay more attention in the future. Maybe it comes down to where the authors were educated?
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
I used to work at a software publishing firm (Micro Lab) where we sold a flat file database program called "Data Factory". The owner was hoping the the Amper routines (if you are an Olde Tyme Apple II programmer you'll know what that is) I was writing to access the DOS that bypassed the slow command interpreter would speed up the database program to "DMA the data" between the floppy disk and memory. One notable bit of miss-communication was that underneath the built-in Basic language (depending on the generation, either Integer or Floating Point) was the Assembly Monitor program. When you (for another misuse of a term) GPF'd, the Monitor would give you a hex display of the CPU registers. All the programmers referred to it as "Crashing into the Monitor." It took us a while to realize we were confusing all the non-technical people when we said that. They thought somehow the code was crashing into the glass on the CRT screens.
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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Drawing a distinction between those terms may be technically correct (i.e. analog's bandwidth vs digital's data transfer rate), but I see the terms being used interchangeably much more often than not. Actually, I just now scanned a few "Intel white papers" the older ones tend to use the terms interchangeably, at least one new paper avoids either term and uses "frequency" to imply either depending on whether they're discussing the analog or digital side of the chip. I'll pay more attention in the future. Maybe it comes down to where the authors were educated?
ssa-ed wrote:
Maybe it comes down to where whether the authors were educated?
FTFY
The difficult we do right away... ...the impossible takes slightly longer.
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User: It doesn't work! Me: What doesn't work? User: The button! Me: Which button what happens when you click it? User: The button on the page! Nothing happens I just get an error! Me: What does the error say? tell you to do? Then total radio silence on the subject.
Sad, but true, I used to work at a company that employed a full time QA department to test our code. The most common explanation that accompanied bug reports were "I was doing something when it crashed."
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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A fiend refers to the computer (everything apart from mouse, keyboard & screen) as the "hard drive".
Member 10685535 wrote:
A fiend refers to the computer
Was he a fiendish fiend? Or just a run of the mill fiend? Sorry, I couldn't help myself. :sigh:
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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He's not a programmer, he's one of those people that tells the programmers what to do, and how to do it. He's also good with buzzwords, and even if he doesn't always understand them it sounds good to the boss. :sigh:
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello[^]
Jörgen Andersson wrote:
He's also good with buzzwords,
One place I worked hired a VP of Technology who was nothing but a big bag of buzzwords. In the mid 90's he was strolling through our prairie dog village and telling us that Flash memory was going to replace the RAM in our desktops. This was the age of "paradigm" in every memo. He was a real "Management by Magazine Article" type guy. He proclaimed the company's mainframes dead and replaced them with minicomputers. One machine (long in the tooth) used Autocoder and all the programs were to be converted to COBOL. Once all the programs were converted to COBOL, it would be easy to maintain them, he claimed. My observation that a badly written program is hard to maintain in any language was ignored. The future was beckoning. A throwaway line in the Manager's Edition (the summation in the margins) of a Smalltalk book claimed it could be used to model a company. He then wanted us to write a Smalltalk program as a whole company simulator so upper management could explore layoffs and reorganization on the operation of the company. Thankfully he was shown the door, but only after he miss-estimated how long the mainframe to minicomputer conversion was going to take and it cost the company an extra $10 million dollars in operational expenses.
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
Technically any kind of file IS a database because a database is something that stores information that can be retrieved later. Though, I don't think most people would consider a movie to be a database even though in the broad sense, it is one. We in the industry tend to think of databases as something tied to a program that organizes data in a well defined manner. So WORD or NOTEPAD don't create what we call databases. We think of SQL Server or Access to be code that produces databases. Some don't think the JET engine produces a database even though you can use the same data organization methods and query structure to retrieve the data from it.
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Sad, but true, I used to work at a company that employed a full time QA department to test our code. The most common explanation that accompanied bug reports were "I was doing something when it crashed."
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
Boy, you have a well trained QA department! They know they have to write a bug report... I've had the opposite problem at times. For instance, I was trying to write an automated test for a "back" button. Worked perfectly the first time. Asked to start, asked to "back" and it executed the back button. Run it again and the back button fails to execute because it doesn't exist. What's going on is that the button to go forward executed SQL commands, the data wasn't cached so it took a couple of seconds to retrieve the data. Next run, the data was cached and it moved forward to the next screen as designed and the back button didn't exist. Now, do I write a bug against the code because it works as designed causing my automated test to fail or against my automated test because it can't consistently test the back button.
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
I guess that I am showing my age... For years I had trouble convincing my wife that she did not need to have the TV on the same channel while recording a show on the VCR (that's right, I said VCR ;P ). Seems that she did not understand that the TV had its own tuner and that the VCR had its own separate tuner.
Fletcher Glenn
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Boy, you have a well trained QA department! They know they have to write a bug report... I've had the opposite problem at times. For instance, I was trying to write an automated test for a "back" button. Worked perfectly the first time. Asked to start, asked to "back" and it executed the back button. Run it again and the back button fails to execute because it doesn't exist. What's going on is that the button to go forward executed SQL commands, the data wasn't cached so it took a couple of seconds to retrieve the data. Next run, the data was cached and it moved forward to the next screen as designed and the back button didn't exist. Now, do I write a bug against the code because it works as designed causing my automated test to fail or against my automated test because it can't consistently test the back button.
KP Lee wrote:
Boy, you have a well trained QA department!
Yes, yes, we did. :laugh: It was interesting place to work at for all the wrong reasons. We had one old gentleman who was disgruntled that his ideas for the code design was being ignored, so he used to write up bug reports so the resolution would be to implement his design without the usual review. We finally caught on. We didn't use automated testing, instead we had to write scripts explaining point by point what to enter and click, along with the expected response, assuming no prior knowledge of the application. The QA department liked to hire kids from the high school across the street to do regression testing. It didn't help that we also had clueless designers. Our coding team was pretty good, but we had to deal with non-technical designers and incompetent management. The designers didn't want to see cursors (this was back in the day of text screens) blinking, so the previous set of programmers had been instructed to hide the cursor off screen...and then wondered why error messages were not being displayed. To solve that, they took to logging errors to the hard drive...including "out of disk space" :doh: But the one bright spot was when they did decide to tackle the error message displays to make them unambiguous. Since there are errors that can occur in different places for the same reason, some had taken to using different wording to indicate to the programmer where the error had occurred. In the same vein as "You are in a twisty maze" versus "The maze is all twisty." Subtle differences lost on the QA department. We wanted numbers, but the non-technical designers deemed them "too technical", but we finally agreed on a compromise of a number followed by a message. Radical eh? Our hope was that we could get people to at least write down the number. A forlorn hope.
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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KP Lee wrote:
Boy, you have a well trained QA department!
Yes, yes, we did. :laugh: It was interesting place to work at for all the wrong reasons. We had one old gentleman who was disgruntled that his ideas for the code design was being ignored, so he used to write up bug reports so the resolution would be to implement his design without the usual review. We finally caught on. We didn't use automated testing, instead we had to write scripts explaining point by point what to enter and click, along with the expected response, assuming no prior knowledge of the application. The QA department liked to hire kids from the high school across the street to do regression testing. It didn't help that we also had clueless designers. Our coding team was pretty good, but we had to deal with non-technical designers and incompetent management. The designers didn't want to see cursors (this was back in the day of text screens) blinking, so the previous set of programmers had been instructed to hide the cursor off screen...and then wondered why error messages were not being displayed. To solve that, they took to logging errors to the hard drive...including "out of disk space" :doh: But the one bright spot was when they did decide to tackle the error message displays to make them unambiguous. Since there are errors that can occur in different places for the same reason, some had taken to using different wording to indicate to the programmer where the error had occurred. In the same vein as "You are in a twisty maze" versus "The maze is all twisty." Subtle differences lost on the QA department. We wanted numbers, but the non-technical designers deemed them "too technical", but we finally agreed on a compromise of a number followed by a message. Radical eh? Our hope was that we could get people to at least write down the number. A forlorn hope.
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
Another radical idea, set up a DB that tracks the error message and the program file that creates the message and when it is inserted into a table maybe the line number in the file when it was recorded (At least the function it is in) and you then use the identity field's value in the error message. When you look up the records that match LIKE '%maze%' you can then list all the messages and ask them to identify which one they got, so they can say "I dunno, doe-N rememer"
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
Can you download the internet to my memory (flash drive)?
CEO at: - Rafaga Systems - Para Facturas - Modern Components for the moment...
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Matt U. wrote:
"I need faster internet or something, my computer keeps freezing on me."
I'm sure that was funny in context... but in reality, everything is starting to run from the internet, and it really is the slowest communication point between all the connections in a computer. This nonsense will become more logical as time marches on.
"Nonsense more logical" or "logical nonsense"? Either way, its an oxymoran.
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
Also "Computer" when they mean "Monitor".
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
I know one who refers to Microsoft Office as an Operating System:~
<sig notetoself="think of a better signature"> <first>Jim</first> <last>Meadors</last> </sig>
