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  3. The difference between Banks

The difference between Banks

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  • D Dalek Dave

    I want to open two savings accounts to run parallel to the Business Current Accounts. Lloyds - We will have to send out a form get you to fill it in and send it back, then we review it and if ok it will be opened in about 10 days. Barclays - Ok Sir, and what would you like the account called? Ok that's fine. We will text you today with the log in details and it should be ready to go in 24 to 48 hours. Hmmm, Lloyds seem to have some strange idea about Customer Service and Convenience.

    --------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.

    B Offline
    B Offline
    BotCar
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    Dalek Dave wrote:

    should be ready to go in 24 to 48 hours

    Even that is longer than it should be. They should be able to open an account for you while you wait.

    What is this talk of release? I do not release software. My software escapes leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.

    OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • B BotCar

      Dalek Dave wrote:

      should be ready to go in 24 to 48 hours

      Even that is longer than it should be. They should be able to open an account for you while you wait.

      What is this talk of release? I do not release software. My software escapes leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.

      OriginalGriffO Offline
      OriginalGriffO Offline
      OriginalGriff
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      Particularly with business accounts, it's a little harder, because they have to follow the rules to try and prevent money laundering.

      Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
      "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • D Dalek Dave

        I want to open two savings accounts to run parallel to the Business Current Accounts. Lloyds - We will have to send out a form get you to fill it in and send it back, then we review it and if ok it will be opened in about 10 days. Barclays - Ok Sir, and what would you like the account called? Ok that's fine. We will text you today with the log in details and it should be ready to go in 24 to 48 hours. Hmmm, Lloyds seem to have some strange idea about Customer Service and Convenience.

        --------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.

        K Offline
        K Offline
        Keith Barrow
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        Lloyds are terrible. When the missus and I wanted to open a joint account, I checked everything I needed to bring with one of the staff and hied myself in to the toon, all documents in hand. When I got there everything was good, and about to be signed off when the manager walked in and discovered our tenancy contract wasn't on company-headed paper. I rented for about 10 years, with both private and company landlords, and have never seen a contract like this. Stupid thing was, I'd been with them for years, they only needed the contract because missus. I went through them like a dose of salts as I'd taken the day off to do it. They claimed it was an FSA requirement (the usual banking standby), but curiously my wife's bank got us set up immediately and hassle free. 10/10 would not recommend Lloyds.

        PB 369,783 wrote:

        I just find him very unlikeable, and I think the way he looks like a prettier version of his Mum is very disturbing.[^]

        OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • K Keith Barrow

          Lloyds are terrible. When the missus and I wanted to open a joint account, I checked everything I needed to bring with one of the staff and hied myself in to the toon, all documents in hand. When I got there everything was good, and about to be signed off when the manager walked in and discovered our tenancy contract wasn't on company-headed paper. I rented for about 10 years, with both private and company landlords, and have never seen a contract like this. Stupid thing was, I'd been with them for years, they only needed the contract because missus. I went through them like a dose of salts as I'd taken the day off to do it. They claimed it was an FSA requirement (the usual banking standby), but curiously my wife's bank got us set up immediately and hassle free. 10/10 would not recommend Lloyds.

          PB 369,783 wrote:

          I just find him very unlikeable, and I think the way he looks like a prettier version of his Mum is very disturbing.[^]

          OriginalGriffO Offline
          OriginalGriffO Offline
          OriginalGriff
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          Yep. When I converted my Abbey / Santander current account to joint, we walked in, pretty lady asks how she can help, explain, Herself shows her credit card with her name on, tappity tap...anything else I can help you with today? Minutes, total. But...I was with Abbey, because I had a fight with Mudland - they didn't feel 48 hours notice was enough time for them to release a couple of thousand of my money to me in cash - and I tried Lloyds as they were the next bank down the road. Oh, no, I have to see an advisor - next Thursday and bring my documents, a blood test, sample of fathers DNA, and the blood of a virgin... Walked into Abbey, and walked out with an account and a promise that new cheque book and card would be there by the end of the week.

          Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

          "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
          "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

          N 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

            Yep. When I converted my Abbey / Santander current account to joint, we walked in, pretty lady asks how she can help, explain, Herself shows her credit card with her name on, tappity tap...anything else I can help you with today? Minutes, total. But...I was with Abbey, because I had a fight with Mudland - they didn't feel 48 hours notice was enough time for them to release a couple of thousand of my money to me in cash - and I tried Lloyds as they were the next bank down the road. Oh, no, I have to see an advisor - next Thursday and bring my documents, a blood test, sample of fathers DNA, and the blood of a virgin... Walked into Abbey, and walked out with an account and a promise that new cheque book and card would be there by the end of the week.

            Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

            N Offline
            N Offline
            Nagy Vilmos
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            OriginalGriff wrote:

            the blood of a virgin

            Can't be getting much business in Wales then

            D OriginalGriffO 2 Replies Last reply
            0
            • N Nagy Vilmos

              OriginalGriff wrote:

              the blood of a virgin

              Can't be getting much business in Wales then

              D Offline
              D Offline
              Dalek Dave
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              The Lambs are being born right now.

              --------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.

              N 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • D Dalek Dave

                The Lambs are being born right now.

                --------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.

                N Offline
                N Offline
                Nagy Vilmos
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                Yea, but you need to get to them before the shepherds

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • N Nagy Vilmos

                  OriginalGriff wrote:

                  the blood of a virgin

                  Can't be getting much business in Wales then

                  OriginalGriffO Offline
                  OriginalGriffO Offline
                  OriginalGriff
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  Even less in Luton...

                  Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

                  "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                  "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • D Dalek Dave

                    I want to open two savings accounts to run parallel to the Business Current Accounts. Lloyds - We will have to send out a form get you to fill it in and send it back, then we review it and if ok it will be opened in about 10 days. Barclays - Ok Sir, and what would you like the account called? Ok that's fine. We will text you today with the log in details and it should be ready to go in 24 to 48 hours. Hmmm, Lloyds seem to have some strange idea about Customer Service and Convenience.

                    --------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.

                    B Offline
                    B Offline
                    Blue Waffle
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    When I use a Co-op cash machine I am always asked to 'consider the environment' before I'm asked if I want to print a receipt. When I use a Barclays Machine I am encouraged to print a receipt for my chance to win Premier League Tickets on the back. It's always amused me that the good intentions of one is being nullified by the other.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • D Dalek Dave

                      I want to open two savings accounts to run parallel to the Business Current Accounts. Lloyds - We will have to send out a form get you to fill it in and send it back, then we review it and if ok it will be opened in about 10 days. Barclays - Ok Sir, and what would you like the account called? Ok that's fine. We will text you today with the log in details and it should be ready to go in 24 to 48 hours. Hmmm, Lloyds seem to have some strange idea about Customer Service and Convenience.

                      --------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.

                      M Offline
                      M Offline
                      Madhava Verma Dantuluri
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      Interesting...

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • D Dalek Dave

                        I want to open two savings accounts to run parallel to the Business Current Accounts. Lloyds - We will have to send out a form get you to fill it in and send it back, then we review it and if ok it will be opened in about 10 days. Barclays - Ok Sir, and what would you like the account called? Ok that's fine. We will text you today with the log in details and it should be ready to go in 24 to 48 hours. Hmmm, Lloyds seem to have some strange idea about Customer Service and Convenience.

                        --------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.

                        S Offline
                        S Offline
                        Super Lloyd
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        It's just that you're a lousy customer, so I told my staff to make it hard for ya! ;P

                        My programming get away... The Blog... DirectX for WinRT/C# since 2013! Taking over the world since 1371!

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