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The Worst I've Ever Seen

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sysadmindatabasesql-serverworkspace
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  • realJSOPR Offline
    realJSOPR Offline
    realJSOP
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
    -----
    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
    -----
    When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

    V Kornfeld Eliyahu PeterK K J C 9 Replies Last reply
    0
    • realJSOPR realJSOP

      I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
      -----
      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
      -----
      When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

      V Offline
      V Offline
      V 0
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      I didn't know you were working on the same project, I also inhereted a mess. What are the odds :rolleyes: .

      V.
      (MQOTD rules and previous solutions)

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • realJSOPR realJSOP

        I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
        -----
        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
        -----
        When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

        Kornfeld Eliyahu PeterK Offline
        Kornfeld Eliyahu PeterK Offline
        Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        8 months ago I got an AS/400 database, with no documentation at all, table and field name was in form of T_n_/F_n_ and I had to interpret the meaning by its content. To goal to convert that old DB to used the data with our application that, that customer bought...Pure joy!

        I'm not questioning your powers of observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. (V)

        "It never ceases to amaze me that a spacecraft launched in 1977 can be fixed remotely from Earth." ― Brian Cox

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • realJSOPR realJSOP

          I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

          K Offline
          K Offline
          Keith Barrow
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Screams "attempt at job security" to me (by the previous incumbent...)

          Alberto Brandolini:

          The amount of energy necessary to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • realJSOPR realJSOP

            I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
            -----
            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
            -----
            When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

            J Offline
            J Offline
            Johnny J
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Well, a professional developer would have been able to see through the mess and fix it... Just saying! ;)

            Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
            Anonymous
            -----
            The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
            Winston Churchill, 1944
            -----
            I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
            Me, all the time

            realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • realJSOPR realJSOP

              I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

              C Offline
              C Offline
              Chris Losinger
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              hell is other people's programs

              image processing toolkits | batch image processing

              M 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • realJSOPR realJSOP

                I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

                ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                -----
                You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                -----
                When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                G Offline
                G Offline
                GuyThiebaut
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Have you tried plugging the local ethernet into the mains outlet, to see if that will resolve the issue? :^)

                “That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”

                ― Christopher Hitchens

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • J Johnny J

                  Well, a professional developer would have been able to see through the mess and fix it... Just saying! ;)

                  Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
                  Anonymous
                  -----
                  The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
                  Winston Churchill, 1944
                  -----
                  I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
                  Me, all the time

                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOP
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  A professional developer would scrap it all and start over. It is really that bad.

                  ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                  N 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • realJSOPR realJSOP

                    A professional developer would scrap it all and start over. It is really that bad.

                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                    N Offline
                    N Offline
                    Nagy Vilmos
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    So you've scrapped it all and started again?

                    realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • C Chris Losinger

                      hell is other people's programs

                      image processing toolkits | batch image processing

                      M Offline
                      M Offline
                      Marcus_2
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Chris Losinger wrote:

                      hell is other people's programs

                      Hell is your own code after 6 months if you haven't documented it... ;)

                      A 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • realJSOPR realJSOP

                        I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

                        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                        -----
                        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                        -----
                        When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Lost User
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                        I'm working in a mixed-threat environment

                        "If you don't get the coding done I'm going to shoot you then set you on fire"?

                        realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • N Nagy Vilmos

                          So you've scrapped it all and started again?

                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOP
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Well, I can't delete anything - yet, but I can start implementing better alternatives and once it's all replaced...

                          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                          L 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • L Lost User

                            John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                            I'm working in a mixed-threat environment

                            "If you don't get the coding done I'm going to shoot you then set you on fire"?

                            realJSOPR Offline
                            realJSOPR Offline
                            realJSOP
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            By "mixed threat", I was referring to the software they're using to do their work.

                            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • M Marcus_2

                              Chris Losinger wrote:

                              hell is other people's programs

                              Hell is your own code after 6 months if you haven't documented it... ;)

                              A Offline
                              A Offline
                              Abu Mami
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Hell is my own code right after it's done - and it just goes downhill from there.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

                                ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                Lost User
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Lol :)[^]

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                  Well, I can't delete anything - yet, but I can start implementing better alternatives and once it's all replaced...

                                  ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                  -----
                                  You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                  -----
                                  When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  Lost User
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Not that I'm suggesting anything here :)[^]

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                    I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

                                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                    -----
                                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                    -----
                                    When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                                    M Offline
                                    M Offline
                                    Mycroft Holmes
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    And to really make it interesting you cannot find a business owner for the entire process. Oh wait that is the system we are working on! Oh for a greenfield project again!

                                    Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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