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The Worst I've Ever Seen

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sysadmindatabasesql-serverworkspace
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  • realJSOPR realJSOP

    I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
    -----
    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
    -----
    When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

    J Offline
    J Offline
    Johnny J
    wrote on last edited by
    #5

    Well, a professional developer would have been able to see through the mess and fix it... Just saying! ;)

    Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
    Anonymous
    -----
    The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
    Winston Churchill, 1944
    -----
    I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
    Me, all the time

    realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • realJSOPR realJSOP

      I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
      -----
      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
      -----
      When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

      C Offline
      C Offline
      Chris Losinger
      wrote on last edited by
      #6

      hell is other people's programs

      image processing toolkits | batch image processing

      M 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • realJSOPR realJSOP

        I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
        -----
        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
        -----
        When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

        G Offline
        G Offline
        GuyThiebaut
        wrote on last edited by
        #7

        Have you tried plugging the local ethernet into the mains outlet, to see if that will resolve the issue? :^)

        “That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”

        ― Christopher Hitchens

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • J Johnny J

          Well, a professional developer would have been able to see through the mess and fix it... Just saying! ;)

          Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
          Anonymous
          -----
          The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
          Winston Churchill, 1944
          -----
          I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
          Me, all the time

          realJSOPR Offline
          realJSOPR Offline
          realJSOP
          wrote on last edited by
          #8

          A professional developer would scrap it all and start over. It is really that bad.

          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

          N 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • C Chris Losinger

            hell is other people's programs

            image processing toolkits | batch image processing

            M Offline
            M Offline
            Marcus_2
            wrote on last edited by
            #9

            Chris Losinger wrote:

            hell is other people's programs

            Hell is your own code after 6 months if you haven't documented it... ;)

            A 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • realJSOPR realJSOP

              A professional developer would scrap it all and start over. It is really that bad.

              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

              N Offline
              N Offline
              Nagy Vilmos
              wrote on last edited by
              #10

              So you've scrapped it all and started again?

              realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • realJSOPR realJSOP

                I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

                ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                -----
                You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                -----
                When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #11

                John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                I'm working in a mixed-threat environment

                "If you don't get the coding done I'm going to shoot you then set you on fire"?

                realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • N Nagy Vilmos

                  So you've scrapped it all and started again?

                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOP
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #12

                  Well, I can't delete anything - yet, but I can start implementing better alternatives and once it's all replaced...

                  ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                  L 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • L Lost User

                    John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                    I'm working in a mixed-threat environment

                    "If you don't get the coding done I'm going to shoot you then set you on fire"?

                    realJSOPR Offline
                    realJSOPR Offline
                    realJSOP
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #13

                    By "mixed threat", I was referring to the software they're using to do their work.

                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • M Marcus_2

                      Chris Losinger wrote:

                      hell is other people's programs

                      Hell is your own code after 6 months if you haven't documented it... ;)

                      A Offline
                      A Offline
                      Abu Mami
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #14

                      Hell is my own code right after it's done - and it just goes downhill from there.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • realJSOPR realJSOP

                        I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

                        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                        -----
                        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                        -----
                        When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Lost User
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #15

                        Lol :)[^]

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • realJSOPR realJSOP

                          Well, I can't delete anything - yet, but I can start implementing better alternatives and once it's all replaced...

                          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #16

                          Not that I'm suggesting anything here :)[^]

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • realJSOPR realJSOP

                            I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

                            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                            M Offline
                            M Offline
                            Mycroft Holmes
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #17

                            And to really make it interesting you cannot find a business owner for the entire process. Oh wait that is the system we are working on! Oh for a greenfield project again!

                            Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH

                            1 Reply Last reply
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