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The Worst I've Ever Seen

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sysadmindatabasesql-serverworkspace
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  • realJSOPR realJSOP

    I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
    -----
    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
    -----
    When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

    Kornfeld Eliyahu PeterK Offline
    Kornfeld Eliyahu PeterK Offline
    Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter
    wrote on last edited by
    #3

    8 months ago I got an AS/400 database, with no documentation at all, table and field name was in form of T_n_/F_n_ and I had to interpret the meaning by its content. To goal to convert that old DB to used the data with our application that, that customer bought...Pure joy!

    I'm not questioning your powers of observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. (V)

    "It never ceases to amaze me that a spacecraft launched in 1977 can be fixed remotely from Earth." ― Brian Cox

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • realJSOPR realJSOP

      I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
      -----
      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
      -----
      When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

      K Offline
      K Offline
      Keith Barrow
      wrote on last edited by
      #4

      Screams "attempt at job security" to me (by the previous incumbent...)

      Alberto Brandolini:

      The amount of energy necessary to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • realJSOPR realJSOP

        I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
        -----
        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
        -----
        When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

        J Offline
        J Offline
        Johnny J
        wrote on last edited by
        #5

        Well, a professional developer would have been able to see through the mess and fix it... Just saying! ;)

        Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
        Anonymous
        -----
        The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
        Winston Churchill, 1944
        -----
        I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
        Me, all the time

        realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • realJSOPR realJSOP

          I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

          C Offline
          C Offline
          Chris Losinger
          wrote on last edited by
          #6

          hell is other people's programs

          image processing toolkits | batch image processing

          M 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • realJSOPR realJSOP

            I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
            -----
            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
            -----
            When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

            G Offline
            G Offline
            GuyThiebaut
            wrote on last edited by
            #7

            Have you tried plugging the local ethernet into the mains outlet, to see if that will resolve the issue? :^)

            “That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”

            ― Christopher Hitchens

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • J Johnny J

              Well, a professional developer would have been able to see through the mess and fix it... Just saying! ;)

              Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
              Anonymous
              -----
              The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
              Winston Churchill, 1944
              -----
              I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
              Me, all the time

              realJSOPR Offline
              realJSOPR Offline
              realJSOP
              wrote on last edited by
              #8

              A professional developer would scrap it all and start over. It is really that bad.

              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

              N 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • C Chris Losinger

                hell is other people's programs

                image processing toolkits | batch image processing

                M Offline
                M Offline
                Marcus_2
                wrote on last edited by
                #9

                Chris Losinger wrote:

                hell is other people's programs

                Hell is your own code after 6 months if you haven't documented it... ;)

                A 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • realJSOPR realJSOP

                  A professional developer would scrap it all and start over. It is really that bad.

                  ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                  N Offline
                  N Offline
                  Nagy Vilmos
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #10

                  So you've scrapped it all and started again?

                  realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • realJSOPR realJSOP

                    I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #11

                    John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                    I'm working in a mixed-threat environment

                    "If you don't get the coding done I'm going to shoot you then set you on fire"?

                    realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • N Nagy Vilmos

                      So you've scrapped it all and started again?

                      realJSOPR Offline
                      realJSOPR Offline
                      realJSOP
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #12

                      Well, I can't delete anything - yet, but I can start implementing better alternatives and once it's all replaced...

                      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                      -----
                      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                      -----
                      When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                      L 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • L Lost User

                        John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                        I'm working in a mixed-threat environment

                        "If you don't get the coding done I'm going to shoot you then set you on fire"?

                        realJSOPR Offline
                        realJSOPR Offline
                        realJSOP
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #13

                        By "mixed threat", I was referring to the software they're using to do their work.

                        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                        -----
                        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                        -----
                        When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • M Marcus_2

                          Chris Losinger wrote:

                          hell is other people's programs

                          Hell is your own code after 6 months if you haven't documented it... ;)

                          A Offline
                          A Offline
                          Abu Mami
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #14

                          Hell is my own code right after it's done - and it just goes downhill from there.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • realJSOPR realJSOP

                            I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

                            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            Lost User
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #15

                            Lol :)[^]

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • realJSOPR realJSOP

                              Well, I can't delete anything - yet, but I can start implementing better alternatives and once it's all replaced...

                              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                              -----
                              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                              -----
                              When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #16

                              Not that I'm suggesting anything here :)[^]

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                I'm working in a mixed-threat environment with little-to-no documentation (leaning heavily closer to "no" than "little") of Excel spreadhseet files, Access databases, something caled Vista FileMan, xmod files, DAT files created and FTP'd to special locations on the network from SQL Server jobs, and the SQL server databases all appear to be populated with user-created one-time-use tables. It's a f*ckin' mess. All of the stuff was apparently created by a non-DBA or non-programmer. I'd like to repeat that there's little-no-documentation describing why something is done, the order in which it needs to be done, or where the f*cking resources are that were used to create what I am loathe to refer to as "data".

                                ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                                M Offline
                                M Offline
                                Mycroft Holmes
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #17

                                And to really make it interesting you cannot find a business owner for the entire process. Oh wait that is the system we are working on! Oh for a greenfield project again!

                                Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH

                                1 Reply Last reply
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