Typical User Problem
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Nah, precedent shows that it's more effective to just destroy the computer.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
I would destroy the user and then replace them with an SAI (strong artificial intelligence)
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And the dialog should be:
Ambiguous key press detected! _ [] X
Windows has detected that you pressed the "4" key when you probably
needed a "3". If you didn't not want a "3" press "Yes". If you wanted
a "4", press "OK". Otherwise please wait and you will be put through
to an operator.\[ABORT\] \[RETRY\] \[CANCEL\]If you can get an icon with "Clippy" on it, so much the better. Needless to say, all buttons should bring up a dialog saying "Are you sure?" and with the buttons [PREVIOUS] & [RESTART WINDOWS] only.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
So, that's why windows is the way it is. It's because of the user, then even Ubuntu will be "shit" because of the user. Hypothesis proved. Theorem: users will make any system became shit, replace them with IAs and everything will be good. Disclaimer, this post is a joke, I don't think Windows is a bad software, only Ubuntu, but then Vista was bad too, and it was allowed to exist.
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"Yes, I hit the '4' key on my keyboard and what I really need to happen is have the '3' come up on the screen." "What happens when you need a '4'?" "Oh, I almost never use the '4'" "But those times you do need the '4', what should happen then as you'll only be getting a '3' when you press the '4' key?" "I didn't think of that." "We could have the '4' key produce a '4' on your screen and have the '3' key produce a '3' on your screen. How about that?" "Yes, but that doesn't solve my original problem."
I feel your pain - ouch, ooh, ow :(
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Oh, that's easily solved. When he presses the '4', a dialog pops up, asking him whether he really meant to type '3'. If he types '3', he gets a '3'. If he types '4', he obviously really meant to type '3', so he gets a '3'.
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)True Story: User complains F3 does not work in our program, nor does Fx in general. She is offsite. Nobody else at the company is complaining (which we tell her). During an onsite visit, WEEKS later. I see the user, and I assume the problem is fixed. She calls out to me, and proceeds to show me: 1) She has a keyboard drawer 2) The extra wide keyboard does not fit very well 3) She presses, F then 3 and it does not work At which time, I pull the keyboard out further, and look at the top row of keys. She looks at me and says: "Do you think it would work if I pressed the one labelled F3?" I told her I wasnt sure, but she should try it. And it WORKED! I pretended to be amazed with her. The owner of the company said "I know you will tell this story, just PLEASE never mention my company name!" OMG, she did not know the keyboard had a row of keys on the top. Worse, there were no less than 3 computers within 10 feet of her, and others using the program. She NEVER ASKED anyone how they get it to work. I remember actually drinking that night. Laughing and Drinking. A little crying for humanity mixed in...
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-10 trekkie points!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I would destroy the user and then replace them with an SAI (strong artificial intelligence)
And -10 trekkie points for you, too! I can't believe two whole CP members didn't get the reference! Has CP changed focus, and become for those who collect beanie babies?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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All deleted records are stored in a deleted records table. What was odd is she wanted deleted records to appear in totals - which makes no sense.
It makes sense if, for example, each record is a customer request, and she wants to report to her superiors how many customer requests she entered, even though she may have subsequently deleted one of them.
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"Yes, I hit the '4' key on my keyboard and what I really need to happen is have the '3' come up on the screen." "What happens when you need a '4'?" "Oh, I almost never use the '4'" "But those times you do need the '4', what should happen then as you'll only be getting a '3' when you press the '4' key?" "I didn't think of that." "We could have the '4' key produce a '4' on your screen and have the '3' key produce a '3' on your screen. How about that?" "Yes, but that doesn't solve my original problem."
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Have you ever dared ask "WHY" a user wants certain behavior? It does seem the regular user wants the program to psychically know what they really wanted to happen.
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It makes sense if, for example, each record is a customer request, and she wants to report to her superiors how many customer requests she entered, even though she may have subsequently deleted one of them.
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... or implement general order 24.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada." -
"I say we take off and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
You can't decide such a thing. You're only a grunt! ... No offense.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada." -
You can't decide such a thing. You're only a grunt! ... No offense.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada." -
And -10 trekkie points for you, too! I can't believe two whole CP members didn't get the reference! Has CP changed focus, and become for those who collect beanie babies?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
If it makes you better I did get it, but I'm a poor pedantry guy, also, I'm not a whole member, I'm just a bit of it.
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True Story: User complains F3 does not work in our program, nor does Fx in general. She is offsite. Nobody else at the company is complaining (which we tell her). During an onsite visit, WEEKS later. I see the user, and I assume the problem is fixed. She calls out to me, and proceeds to show me: 1) She has a keyboard drawer 2) The extra wide keyboard does not fit very well 3) She presses, F then 3 and it does not work At which time, I pull the keyboard out further, and look at the top row of keys. She looks at me and says: "Do you think it would work if I pressed the one labelled F3?" I told her I wasnt sure, but she should try it. And it WORKED! I pretended to be amazed with her. The owner of the company said "I know you will tell this story, just PLEASE never mention my company name!" OMG, she did not know the keyboard had a row of keys on the top. Worse, there were no less than 3 computers within 10 feet of her, and others using the program. She NEVER ASKED anyone how they get it to work. I remember actually drinking that night. Laughing and Drinking. A little crying for humanity mixed in...
From my younger tech support days: We have our customer who runs all his business needs on a thin client. And they start complaining about network issues, and "lag" and connection hanging. We have 1st tech go in, troubleshoot the network, do performance metrics on the server, spending 4 days, finding nothing. Problem goes away. Next week, same call, we go there, troubleshoot the network, analyze logs, replace a switch.. for the sake of it.. still find nothing, her thin client works as expected. And the very next day, we get the call again. We drive there, and this time, go to her and ask her, please show us how it's not working. And, to her dismay.. everything works.. and tells us we "scarred the machine into working". So we decided to wait around until lunch, meantime she continued to work. And then it happened right before deciding to go. She calls us in victorious, see.. I wasn't lying.. She presses keys, they sometimes type, sometimes lag, mouse was skipping and so on. And then I noticed the keyboard.. it was wireless. I asked her, when was the last time you replaced the batteries on this thing? And she giggles.. I didn't know it had batteries.. I thought it just worked.
