Typical User Problem
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For the sake of humanity, please throw this user in front of a bus moving at high speed.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
No, this wasn't the actual problem. The real problem was that the user couldn't understand why deleting a record caused it to no longer show up on reports. I went with the 3/4 problem because I didn't think anyone would believe the actual problem.
You know, you just can't make this stuff up. Years ago, my Dad worked at IBM. Every year he was on the team to come up with the division budget. At home, we just hid during that month. He got so fed up with the process that he wrote a program Algol or apl or something to act as a rudimentary spreadsheet - it let everyone punch in their groups numbers and rolled them all up. Life was good, it worked. First user.... stuck.... calls my dad: User: "Hey Chuck, your program doesn't work." Dad: "Okay, what's it doing?" User: "Nothing, it just sits there." Dad: "What's on your screen?" <-- before the days of PCs User: "It's asked for my username, I typed it, but now it's just sitting there." Dad: "Hmmm, oh, I know what's wrong... press return." User: "Hey! That fixed it." And this was at IBM.....
Charlie Gilley Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape... "Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783 “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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And the dialog should be:
Ambiguous key press detected! _ [] X
Windows has detected that you pressed the "4" key when you probably
needed a "3". If you didn't not want a "3" press "Yes". If you wanted
a "4", press "OK". Otherwise please wait and you will be put through
to an operator.\[ABORT\] \[RETRY\] \[CANCEL\]If you can get an icon with "Clippy" on it, so much the better. Needless to say, all buttons should bring up a dialog saying "Are you sure?" and with the buttons [PREVIOUS] & [RESTART WINDOWS] only.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
And make sure the buttons come up in random order so that the user has to read them every time before clicking it.
OriginalGriff wrote:
Windows has detected that you pressed the "4" key when you probably needed a "3". If you didn't not want a "3" press "Yes". If you wanted a "4", press "OK". Otherwise please wait and you will be put through to an operator. [ABORT] [RETRY] [CANCEL]
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No, this wasn't the actual problem. The real problem was that the user couldn't understand why deleting a record caused it to no longer show up on reports. I went with the 3/4 problem because I didn't think anyone would believe the actual problem.
I hate to be a spoil sport, but often something needs to be deleted for operational purposes, but the history of its existence needs to be kept for reports of past activity. There are a number of ways to handle this, such as marking the record for deletion using a flag for that purpose, but not really deleting the record. Then any queries for currently active records need to take the delete flag into consideration. Or you could maintain a separate history table for reports, copying the record into it before deleting it from the active table.
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Ooops. I must have meant general order 23. :-)
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada." -
"Yes, I hit the '4' key on my keyboard and what I really need to happen is have the '3' come up on the screen." "What happens when you need a '4'?" "Oh, I almost never use the '4'" "But those times you do need the '4', what should happen then as you'll only be getting a '3' when you press the '4' key?" "I didn't think of that." "We could have the '4' key produce a '4' on your screen and have the '3' key produce a '3' on your screen. How about that?" "Yes, but that doesn't solve my original problem."
Hold the 4 key for over 3 seconds to get a 4 :) There are always creative solutions for stupid problems.
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems - Homer Simpson ---- Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction - Francis Picabia
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I hate to be a spoil sport, but often something needs to be deleted for operational purposes, but the history of its existence needs to be kept for reports of past activity. There are a number of ways to handle this, such as marking the record for deletion using a flag for that purpose, but not really deleting the record. Then any queries for currently active records need to take the delete flag into consideration. Or you could maintain a separate history table for reports, copying the record into it before deleting it from the active table.
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And the dialog should be:
Ambiguous key press detected! _ [] X
Windows has detected that you pressed the "4" key when you probably
needed a "3". If you didn't not want a "3" press "Yes". If you wanted
a "4", press "OK". Otherwise please wait and you will be put through
to an operator.\[ABORT\] \[RETRY\] \[CANCEL\]If you can get an icon with "Clippy" on it, so much the better. Needless to say, all buttons should bring up a dialog saying "Are you sure?" and with the buttons [PREVIOUS] & [RESTART WINDOWS] only.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
made me lol
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1 , 2 , 4 , 8 ...
Counting binary on your fingers again? You could always throw in 260 for good measure.
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Nah, precedent shows that it's more effective to just destroy the computer.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
I would destroy the user and then replace them with an SAI (strong artificial intelligence)
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And the dialog should be:
Ambiguous key press detected! _ [] X
Windows has detected that you pressed the "4" key when you probably
needed a "3". If you didn't not want a "3" press "Yes". If you wanted
a "4", press "OK". Otherwise please wait and you will be put through
to an operator.\[ABORT\] \[RETRY\] \[CANCEL\]If you can get an icon with "Clippy" on it, so much the better. Needless to say, all buttons should bring up a dialog saying "Are you sure?" and with the buttons [PREVIOUS] & [RESTART WINDOWS] only.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
So, that's why windows is the way it is. It's because of the user, then even Ubuntu will be "shit" because of the user. Hypothesis proved. Theorem: users will make any system became shit, replace them with IAs and everything will be good. Disclaimer, this post is a joke, I don't think Windows is a bad software, only Ubuntu, but then Vista was bad too, and it was allowed to exist.
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"Yes, I hit the '4' key on my keyboard and what I really need to happen is have the '3' come up on the screen." "What happens when you need a '4'?" "Oh, I almost never use the '4'" "But those times you do need the '4', what should happen then as you'll only be getting a '3' when you press the '4' key?" "I didn't think of that." "We could have the '4' key produce a '4' on your screen and have the '3' key produce a '3' on your screen. How about that?" "Yes, but that doesn't solve my original problem."
I feel your pain - ouch, ooh, ow :(
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Oh, that's easily solved. When he presses the '4', a dialog pops up, asking him whether he really meant to type '3'. If he types '3', he gets a '3'. If he types '4', he obviously really meant to type '3', so he gets a '3'.
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)True Story: User complains F3 does not work in our program, nor does Fx in general. She is offsite. Nobody else at the company is complaining (which we tell her). During an onsite visit, WEEKS later. I see the user, and I assume the problem is fixed. She calls out to me, and proceeds to show me: 1) She has a keyboard drawer 2) The extra wide keyboard does not fit very well 3) She presses, F then 3 and it does not work At which time, I pull the keyboard out further, and look at the top row of keys. She looks at me and says: "Do you think it would work if I pressed the one labelled F3?" I told her I wasnt sure, but she should try it. And it WORKED! I pretended to be amazed with her. The owner of the company said "I know you will tell this story, just PLEASE never mention my company name!" OMG, she did not know the keyboard had a row of keys on the top. Worse, there were no less than 3 computers within 10 feet of her, and others using the program. She NEVER ASKED anyone how they get it to work. I remember actually drinking that night. Laughing and Drinking. A little crying for humanity mixed in...
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-10 trekkie points!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I would destroy the user and then replace them with an SAI (strong artificial intelligence)
And -10 trekkie points for you, too! I can't believe two whole CP members didn't get the reference! Has CP changed focus, and become for those who collect beanie babies?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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All deleted records are stored in a deleted records table. What was odd is she wanted deleted records to appear in totals - which makes no sense.
It makes sense if, for example, each record is a customer request, and she wants to report to her superiors how many customer requests she entered, even though she may have subsequently deleted one of them.
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"Yes, I hit the '4' key on my keyboard and what I really need to happen is have the '3' come up on the screen." "What happens when you need a '4'?" "Oh, I almost never use the '4'" "But those times you do need the '4', what should happen then as you'll only be getting a '3' when you press the '4' key?" "I didn't think of that." "We could have the '4' key produce a '4' on your screen and have the '3' key produce a '3' on your screen. How about that?" "Yes, but that doesn't solve my original problem."
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Have you ever dared ask "WHY" a user wants certain behavior? It does seem the regular user wants the program to psychically know what they really wanted to happen.
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It makes sense if, for example, each record is a customer request, and she wants to report to her superiors how many customer requests she entered, even though she may have subsequently deleted one of them.
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... or implement general order 24.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada."
