town home property encroachment
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Anyone that knows me, may be aware that at times, I may or may not have a not-so-rational hot temper. I'd like to think it's because I am wise and mature and all-knowing, well beyond my years. YMMV Well, yesterday I got hot tempered again with one of my neighbors, and I'd like to see the collective opinion of you guys if y'all think it was justified or not. I currently live in a town home, and my "backyard area" is shared among three units in particular. It's not a big enclosure, but you make do with what you have. Yesterday, the neighbor two units over (and sharing the backyard area) up and decided to put a huge-arse trampoline there that quite literally consumes just about all the available non-porch space in the backyard area for all three units. I wasn't a fan of these people to start with, but after seeing that (and considering this guy didn't even bother to ask the other two of us if that was ok), I pretty much lost it and banged on his door and let him have it. Granted, there's not much I can do after venting that's legal. So, now I'm calling the housing association for the town homes and so forth to get this resolved. So my question to CP is, considering the obvious disrespect for other people when taking up all their space without even asking, do y'all think I was out of line for banging on his door and letting him have it? I don't, but then again I'm not one known for keeping the peace.
Jeremy Falcon
IMHO, venting at the offender affords immediate gratification as it offers an outlet for one's anger or annoyance. But it usually makes things worse, not better. You may have gotten a better result by talking to the other neighbor and both of you quietly knocking on the offender's door and requesting him to move or take down the trampoline. The offender may still be a twit in your opinion, but at least a twit who responded to your request to remove the monstrosity from the common area shared with other neighbors. :) /ravi
My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com
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P0mpey3 wrote:
But the fact it's a Trampoline suggests he probably has very small kids, like me. If you had come round my house banging on my door and shouting at me I would probably hit you (as long as your not big and muscly or anything).
You are correct with the assumption of him having kids. Although I didn't see any behind the door when I was around. I'm sure my voice may have carried, but I wouldn't deliberately do that in front of kids. That being said, I still don't think I was in the wrong, having kids or not. I didn't yell in front of the kids or to his wife. It was man to man. He's an adult and he should act like one.
Jeremy Falcon
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
He's an adult and he should act like one.
Ahem... :) /ravi
My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com
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We're going to need more details: - Were voices raised? - Was swearing involved? - Any direct insults to his wife or children? - Any threats of bodily harm? - Were any weapons drawn? - Did the word "lawyer" get muttered?
Contrary to popular belief, nobody owes you anything.
Mike, are your services available for hire? :-D /ravi
My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com
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Mike, are your services available for hire? :-D /ravi
My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com
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Jeremy Falcon wrote:
Didn't say I was a coward either.
Admitting you were wrong is only for the bravest of the brave :D
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
I don't intend to make friends with people like that.
You don't have to. You're just going to have a friendly talk with him, and a few beers, about his trampoline. You'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar and all that.
Visit my blog at Sander's bits - Writing the code you need. Or read my articles at my CodeProject profile.
Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. — Edsger W. Dijkstra
Regards, Sander
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As a father, I wouldn't yell at another father with kids around, unless it was warranted and wouldn't want it done to me. I think you definitely made the correct choice to speak to him man to man, but any hostility on you part may not have been acceptable. Also, if you came knocking on my door and yelled at me, I would close the door in your face. If you pushed the issue I would be arrested for assault and battery, especially if my kids were around. Just saying.
His kids weren't around. I'm not that cold man.
Jeremy Falcon
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IMHO, venting at the offender affords immediate gratification as it offers an outlet for one's anger or annoyance. But it usually makes things worse, not better. You may have gotten a better result by talking to the other neighbor and both of you quietly knocking on the offender's door and requesting him to move or take down the trampoline. The offender may still be a twit in your opinion, but at least a twit who responded to your request to remove the monstrosity from the common area shared with other neighbors. :) /ravi
My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com
I know you're right man. +5
Jeremy Falcon
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Sander Rossel wrote:
Admitting you were wrong is only for the bravest of the brave
I was wrong for the name calling, but I wasn't wrong about not being happy. He was wrong with that.
Jeremy Falcon
Well, you know, be the better man and all that. Perhaps I just have no spine, pride and honor. Which is really convenient when dealing with people though :laugh:
Visit my blog at Sander's bits - Writing the code you need. Or read my articles at my CodeProject profile.
Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. — Edsger W. Dijkstra
Regards, Sander
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Jeremy Falcon wrote:
He's an adult and he should act like one.
Ahem... :) /ravi
My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com
:-D Touché!
Jeremy Falcon
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For my own future reference, does CP also have a mushroom emoticon to go with the badger?
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
{ A snake } A snake.
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JimmyRopes wrote:
The HOA route is the only way to go. They will probably come over to take a look and tell him to remove it because there has been a complaint.
I hope. They don't seem to be terribly efficient in getting back to me, but we shall see.
Jeremy Falcon
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
They don't seem to be terribly efficient in getting back to me, but we shall see.
Be sure to remind them of the liability issue that they will be a party to if someone should seek compensation in a court of law for injuries sustained using the trampoline. That should motivate them. :-D
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy. In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. – Buddha
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Just tell him that if it accidentally catches fire because it is encroaching on your smoke pit, you won't be held responsible. Also it may be blocking your Archery Range, but not to worry I am sure the arrows will pass harmlessly between anyone bouncing on the trampoline if you get the timing just right. If he can use all the area for a pastime then so can everyone else. BTW: I never yell when I am angry at someone. In fact I do my best to not show my anger at all, I just make my point(s) in a quiet, calm manner. Some people have told me I am scary when I do this - maybe because I am British and all Americans think we are all secretly evil masterminds per Hollywood stereotypes! Obviously, if you are an American this wouldn't work for you so the yelling (not in front of spouse and offspring) is probably the acceptable norm. PS. Casually carrying a gardening implement, such as a hoe, machete or axe can also help make sure they pay attention. Wear gardening gloves to enhance the impression that you were just recently working in the garden and not actually being threatening.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
Forogar wrote:
In fact I do my best to not show my anger at all, I just make my point(s) in a quiet, calm manner. Some people have told me I am scary when I do this
Do you also twitch in one of your eyes and refer to 'Mother' when you do this? :-D ... as in [in a nerdy emotionless voice] "Mother always taught me" [eye twitch] " to be polite when people are bad to me" [eye twitch]...
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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His kids weren't around. I'm not that cold man.
Jeremy Falcon
I hear you. It also sounds that you were in a tough spot. Hope it all works out for you.
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Anyone that knows me, may be aware that at times, I may or may not have a not-so-rational hot temper. I'd like to think it's because I am wise and mature and all-knowing, well beyond my years. YMMV Well, yesterday I got hot tempered again with one of my neighbors, and I'd like to see the collective opinion of you guys if y'all think it was justified or not. I currently live in a town home, and my "backyard area" is shared among three units in particular. It's not a big enclosure, but you make do with what you have. Yesterday, the neighbor two units over (and sharing the backyard area) up and decided to put a huge-arse trampoline there that quite literally consumes just about all the available non-porch space in the backyard area for all three units. I wasn't a fan of these people to start with, but after seeing that (and considering this guy didn't even bother to ask the other two of us if that was ok), I pretty much lost it and banged on his door and let him have it. Granted, there's not much I can do after venting that's legal. So, now I'm calling the housing association for the town homes and so forth to get this resolved. So my question to CP is, considering the obvious disrespect for other people when taking up all their space without even asking, do y'all think I was out of line for banging on his door and letting him have it? I don't, but then again I'm not one known for keeping the peace.
Jeremy Falcon
It sounds to me like the trampoline itself causes you no inconvenience - but it's a principal thing. Instead of trying to solve it in a mature, sensible manner, you've taken the 'he's a git, so I'll be a git' approach. So all you've really achieved is to lower yourself beneath his level (he did something he thought, perhaps, would be good - sure it was perhaps thoughtless, but who knows what his thoughts were - you didn't take the time to as - whereas you just ranted and raved like a dick. It genuinely astonishes me how people can act so aggressively over something like this that is such a 1st world problem!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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Anyone that knows me, may be aware that at times, I may or may not have a not-so-rational hot temper. I'd like to think it's because I am wise and mature and all-knowing, well beyond my years. YMMV Well, yesterday I got hot tempered again with one of my neighbors, and I'd like to see the collective opinion of you guys if y'all think it was justified or not. I currently live in a town home, and my "backyard area" is shared among three units in particular. It's not a big enclosure, but you make do with what you have. Yesterday, the neighbor two units over (and sharing the backyard area) up and decided to put a huge-arse trampoline there that quite literally consumes just about all the available non-porch space in the backyard area for all three units. I wasn't a fan of these people to start with, but after seeing that (and considering this guy didn't even bother to ask the other two of us if that was ok), I pretty much lost it and banged on his door and let him have it. Granted, there's not much I can do after venting that's legal. So, now I'm calling the housing association for the town homes and so forth to get this resolved. So my question to CP is, considering the obvious disrespect for other people when taking up all their space without even asking, do y'all think I was out of line for banging on his door and letting him have it? I don't, but then again I'm not one known for keeping the peace.
Jeremy Falcon
Lets start that by my standard that was overreacting. He might have done something wrong but yelling usually only worsens things and reduces the chance of a solution that makes everyone happy. But just setting up shop like he did without talking with those that share the space is bad. What I would have done is gone over and said that I'm not happy with him setting up the jumporama without my consultation. Just think of all the noise pollution once the kids start jumping and yelling, bringing their friends to jump and yell, more yelling and screaming once they fall and break their tiny brittle bones. He should have done the only sensible thing and that would have been to get some tablets to pacify his kids indoors. At the very least if it's not removed you should insist on being allowed access to it. Maybe working out a schedule on when who can use it. I suggest really tiny fragmented timeslots. :thumbsup:
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I hear you. It also sounds that you were in a tough spot. Hope it all works out for you.
Thanks man.
Jeremy Falcon
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It sounds to me like the trampoline itself causes you no inconvenience - but it's a principal thing. Instead of trying to solve it in a mature, sensible manner, you've taken the 'he's a git, so I'll be a git' approach. So all you've really achieved is to lower yourself beneath his level (he did something he thought, perhaps, would be good - sure it was perhaps thoughtless, but who knows what his thoughts were - you didn't take the time to as - whereas you just ranted and raved like a dick. It genuinely astonishes me how people can act so aggressively over something like this that is such a 1st world problem!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
Guess what tinker bell, your post is aggressive. So, look at the pot calling the tea kettle black. And trust me when I say it wasn't an inch or two, he took up the entire thing. I'm not that shallow.
Jeremy Falcon
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Lets start that by my standard that was overreacting. He might have done something wrong but yelling usually only worsens things and reduces the chance of a solution that makes everyone happy. But just setting up shop like he did without talking with those that share the space is bad. What I would have done is gone over and said that I'm not happy with him setting up the jumporama without my consultation. Just think of all the noise pollution once the kids start jumping and yelling, bringing their friends to jump and yell, more yelling and screaming once they fall and break their tiny brittle bones. He should have done the only sensible thing and that would have been to get some tablets to pacify his kids indoors. At the very least if it's not removed you should insist on being allowed access to it. Maybe working out a schedule on when who can use it. I suggest really tiny fragmented timeslots. :thumbsup:
Member 11683251 wrote:
Lets start that by my standard that was overreacting.
You're right man. I know this now. He's still wrong for doing it, but at least I didn't make a fool of myself twice.
Jeremy Falcon
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If he placed it in communal space, then obviously it's for communal use and I'd be jumping on it. :badger: Wahoo!
Given the litigious society we live in, you should clarify who is responsible if someone gets hurt - the "owner" of the trampoline or the collective 3 backyard neighbors since you are allowing it to "share" space. At least in the states, having a tramploine increases your cost of home owners. :omg:
Toto1107
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Anyone that knows me, may be aware that at times, I may or may not have a not-so-rational hot temper. I'd like to think it's because I am wise and mature and all-knowing, well beyond my years. YMMV Well, yesterday I got hot tempered again with one of my neighbors, and I'd like to see the collective opinion of you guys if y'all think it was justified or not. I currently live in a town home, and my "backyard area" is shared among three units in particular. It's not a big enclosure, but you make do with what you have. Yesterday, the neighbor two units over (and sharing the backyard area) up and decided to put a huge-arse trampoline there that quite literally consumes just about all the available non-porch space in the backyard area for all three units. I wasn't a fan of these people to start with, but after seeing that (and considering this guy didn't even bother to ask the other two of us if that was ok), I pretty much lost it and banged on his door and let him have it. Granted, there's not much I can do after venting that's legal. So, now I'm calling the housing association for the town homes and so forth to get this resolved. So my question to CP is, considering the obvious disrespect for other people when taking up all their space without even asking, do y'all think I was out of line for banging on his door and letting him have it? I don't, but then again I'm not one known for keeping the peace.
Jeremy Falcon
