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If it sounds too good to be true...

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  • K Kevin Marois

    Incredible Programmer with Real Talent Wanted ASAP (los angeles) compensation: Doe We are looking for an incredibly talented and gifted programmer to join us in developing a world changing platform that would be adopted by everyone in the world. We need a programmer who has been developing websites and platforms since they were a teenager! C, C++, PHP, Python, Javascript, and Go would be the languages you have mastered! The pay for this position is incredibly high, between $350k to $450K annually. You will only be required to be in the office to work when needed. Otherwise you are allowed to work remotely, so long as you get your tasks completed on time. Must have real talent, as we are creating a life changing platform that will change the medical industry. The team would be small, as there would only be 3 other programmers working with you. We have set aside 5 million to pay programmers, so this position is incredibly high paying. Please apply ONLY if you are truly skilled at programming: topfreelancegigs.work

    If it's not broken, fix it until it is

    F Offline
    F Offline
    Forogar
    wrote on last edited by
    #7

    Quote:

    been developing websites and platforms since they were a teenager

    When I was a teenager, websites didn't exist... neither did the internet! My first computer was a mainframe!

    - I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

    L N C G 4 Replies Last reply
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    • K Kevin Marois

      Incredible Programmer with Real Talent Wanted ASAP (los angeles) compensation: Doe We are looking for an incredibly talented and gifted programmer to join us in developing a world changing platform that would be adopted by everyone in the world. We need a programmer who has been developing websites and platforms since they were a teenager! C, C++, PHP, Python, Javascript, and Go would be the languages you have mastered! The pay for this position is incredibly high, between $350k to $450K annually. You will only be required to be in the office to work when needed. Otherwise you are allowed to work remotely, so long as you get your tasks completed on time. Must have real talent, as we are creating a life changing platform that will change the medical industry. The team would be small, as there would only be 3 other programmers working with you. We have set aside 5 million to pay programmers, so this position is incredibly high paying. Please apply ONLY if you are truly skilled at programming: topfreelancegigs.work

      If it's not broken, fix it until it is

      D Offline
      D Offline
      Duncan Edwards Jones
      wrote on last edited by
      #8

      Kevin Marois wrote:

      as we are creating a life changing platform that will change the medical industry.

      Ah - I see early hints of the iSuppository(tm) work here?

      N 1 Reply Last reply
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      • F Forogar

        Quote:

        been developing websites and platforms since they were a teenager

        When I was a teenager, websites didn't exist... neither did the internet! My first computer was a mainframe!

        - I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

        L Offline
        L Offline
        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #9

        Now then, it should become a very relaxed Job for you :-D

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • K Kevin Marois

          Incredible Programmer with Real Talent Wanted ASAP (los angeles) compensation: Doe We are looking for an incredibly talented and gifted programmer to join us in developing a world changing platform that would be adopted by everyone in the world. We need a programmer who has been developing websites and platforms since they were a teenager! C, C++, PHP, Python, Javascript, and Go would be the languages you have mastered! The pay for this position is incredibly high, between $350k to $450K annually. You will only be required to be in the office to work when needed. Otherwise you are allowed to work remotely, so long as you get your tasks completed on time. Must have real talent, as we are creating a life changing platform that will change the medical industry. The team would be small, as there would only be 3 other programmers working with you. We have set aside 5 million to pay programmers, so this position is incredibly high paying. Please apply ONLY if you are truly skilled at programming: topfreelancegigs.work

          If it's not broken, fix it until it is

          C Offline
          C Offline
          CPallini
          wrote on last edited by
          #10

          'websites' ?! Klingon developers don't write code for websites.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • K Kevin Marois

            Incredible Programmer with Real Talent Wanted ASAP (los angeles) compensation: Doe We are looking for an incredibly talented and gifted programmer to join us in developing a world changing platform that would be adopted by everyone in the world. We need a programmer who has been developing websites and platforms since they were a teenager! C, C++, PHP, Python, Javascript, and Go would be the languages you have mastered! The pay for this position is incredibly high, between $350k to $450K annually. You will only be required to be in the office to work when needed. Otherwise you are allowed to work remotely, so long as you get your tasks completed on time. Must have real talent, as we are creating a life changing platform that will change the medical industry. The team would be small, as there would only be 3 other programmers working with you. We have set aside 5 million to pay programmers, so this position is incredibly high paying. Please apply ONLY if you are truly skilled at programming: topfreelancegigs.work

            If it's not broken, fix it until it is

            S Offline
            S Offline
            Slacker007
            wrote on last edited by
            #11

            I moved from LA when I was 22. Haven't looked back. I recommend the same.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • K Kevin Marois

              Incredible Programmer with Real Talent Wanted ASAP (los angeles) compensation: Doe We are looking for an incredibly talented and gifted programmer to join us in developing a world changing platform that would be adopted by everyone in the world. We need a programmer who has been developing websites and platforms since they were a teenager! C, C++, PHP, Python, Javascript, and Go would be the languages you have mastered! The pay for this position is incredibly high, between $350k to $450K annually. You will only be required to be in the office to work when needed. Otherwise you are allowed to work remotely, so long as you get your tasks completed on time. Must have real talent, as we are creating a life changing platform that will change the medical industry. The team would be small, as there would only be 3 other programmers working with you. We have set aside 5 million to pay programmers, so this position is incredibly high paying. Please apply ONLY if you are truly skilled at programming: topfreelancegigs.work

              If it's not broken, fix it until it is

              K Offline
              K Offline
              Kyle Moyer
              wrote on last edited by
              #12

              compensation: Doe

              Dat compensation, doe! No, really, 350k+? That really does sound too good to be true...:~

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • K Kevin Marois

                Incredible Programmer with Real Talent Wanted ASAP (los angeles) compensation: Doe We are looking for an incredibly talented and gifted programmer to join us in developing a world changing platform that would be adopted by everyone in the world. We need a programmer who has been developing websites and platforms since they were a teenager! C, C++, PHP, Python, Javascript, and Go would be the languages you have mastered! The pay for this position is incredibly high, between $350k to $450K annually. You will only be required to be in the office to work when needed. Otherwise you are allowed to work remotely, so long as you get your tasks completed on time. Must have real talent, as we are creating a life changing platform that will change the medical industry. The team would be small, as there would only be 3 other programmers working with you. We have set aside 5 million to pay programmers, so this position is incredibly high paying. Please apply ONLY if you are truly skilled at programming: topfreelancegigs.work

                If it's not broken, fix it until it is

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #13

                I actually interviewed for this job. Things went really well right up to the end where I was told that I would have to wear a tie on office days. I walked out and didn't look back.

                K F 2 Replies Last reply
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                • L Lost User

                  I actually interviewed for this job. Things went really well right up to the end where I was told that I would have to wear a tie on office days. I walked out and didn't look back.

                  K Offline
                  K Offline
                  Kevin Marois
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #14

                  For 350-450K I'd dress in drag or go full nude.

                  If it's not broken, fix it until it is

                  C 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • K Kevin Marois

                    Incredible Programmer with Real Talent Wanted ASAP (los angeles) compensation: Doe We are looking for an incredibly talented and gifted programmer to join us in developing a world changing platform that would be adopted by everyone in the world. We need a programmer who has been developing websites and platforms since they were a teenager! C, C++, PHP, Python, Javascript, and Go would be the languages you have mastered! The pay for this position is incredibly high, between $350k to $450K annually. You will only be required to be in the office to work when needed. Otherwise you are allowed to work remotely, so long as you get your tasks completed on time. Must have real talent, as we are creating a life changing platform that will change the medical industry. The team would be small, as there would only be 3 other programmers working with you. We have set aside 5 million to pay programmers, so this position is incredibly high paying. Please apply ONLY if you are truly skilled at programming: topfreelancegigs.work

                    If it's not broken, fix it until it is

                    I Offline
                    I Offline
                    Ian Shlasko
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #15

                    Let me run that through Google Translate... From "RecruiterSpeak" to "English"...

                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                    compensation: Doe

                    "All salary figures below should be assumed to represent kilograms of venison"

                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                    We are looking for an incredibly talented and gifted programmer to join us in developing a world changing platform that would be adopted by everyone in the world.

                    "Our platform was really revolutionary ten years ago, but it's already been done by ten other companies, and we think our trivial feature will be unique enough to compete against them."

                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                    We need a programmer who has been developing websites and platforms since they were a teenager!

                    "If the Internet wasn't around (In its current form) when you were a teenager, you're too old and we won't hire you"

                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                    C, C++, PHP, Python, Javascript, and Go would be the languages you have mastered!

                    "We don't know anything about programming, but my cousin's nephew said these are really popular right now"

                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                    The pay for this position is incredibly high, between $350k to $450K annually.

                    "Paid in stock options that will soon become worthless"

                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                    You will only be required to be in the office to work when needed. Otherwise you are allowed to work remotely, so long as you get your tasks completed on time.

                    "Our 'office' is actually the CEO's basement"

                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                    Must have real talent, as we are creating a life changing platform that will change the medical industry.

                    "We don't know anything about the medical industry, but we heard there's a lot of money there, because... Obamacare!"

                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                    The team would be small, as there would only be 3 other programmers working with you

                    "We're hoping we'll be able to find 3 or 4 people stupid enough to take this job"

                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                    We have set aside 5 million to pay programmers, so this position is incredibly high paying

                    "In stock options, of course."

                    Kevin Maro

                    OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • K Kevin Marois

                      ;P ;P ;P

                      If it's not broken, fix it until it is

                      N Offline
                      N Offline
                      newton saber
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #16

                      Sounds like too much work to me. You have to be there when needed. Terribly intrusive. I mean, sure, I have to be here every day, but it's rare that I'm needed. Being needed is far more hype than its worth. :laugh:

                      H 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • R R Giskard Reventlov

                        To paraphrase: "I know VB...." :-) Wait, I am in LA!!! Wire me in, dude!

                        N Offline
                        N Offline
                        newton saber
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #17

                        R. Giskard Reventlov wrote:

                        I know VB...

                        You're in!! Please build the life-transforming all-encompassing new platform which 8.2 billion people of the earth will begin using tomorrow. :laugh:

                        R J 2 Replies Last reply
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                        • D Daniel Pfeffer

                          There's one born every minute. How many applicants have they had already?

                          If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. --Winston Churchill

                          N Offline
                          N Offline
                          newton saber
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #18

                          Daniel Pfeffer wrote:

                          How many applicants have they had already?

                          Well... I don't want to toot my own horn, but at least one. :-O I'm quarkified too, betuz I are an awesome keyboardist.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • F Forogar

                            Quote:

                            been developing websites and platforms since they were a teenager

                            When I was a teenager, websites didn't exist... neither did the internet! My first computer was a mainframe!

                            - I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

                            N Offline
                            N Offline
                            newton saber
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #19

                            Forogar wrote:

                            hen I was a teenager, websites didn't exist...

                            Stop your limited thinking. How're you going to get ahead like that? I personally worked on the Internet __before__ it was created. We used typewriters and shuffled the papers amongst ourselves.

                            M 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • N newton saber

                              R. Giskard Reventlov wrote:

                              I know VB...

                              You're in!! Please build the life-transforming all-encompassing new platform which 8.2 billion people of the earth will begin using tomorrow. :laugh:

                              R Offline
                              R Offline
                              R Giskard Reventlov
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #20

                              Here you go...

                              10 PRINT "Hello World!"
                              20 GOTO 10

                              N 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • D Duncan Edwards Jones

                                Kevin Marois wrote:

                                as we are creating a life changing platform that will change the medical industry.

                                Ah - I see early hints of the iSuppository(tm) work here?

                                N Offline
                                N Offline
                                newton saber
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #21

                                There are repos from Git. This will be suppos from ___PUT__!! Get it?!! nyuck nyuck! PUT. You know suppository going to get you PUTTING all over the place. :laugh: I have actually become much funnier recently. I don't even know how that is possible. ;)

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • R R Giskard Reventlov

                                  Here you go...

                                  10 PRINT "Hello World!"
                                  20 GOTO 10

                                  N Offline
                                  N Offline
                                  newton saber
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #22

                                  Where do I upload your $2.5 million USD. Tomorrow we give you a raise

                                  R 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • I Ian Shlasko

                                    Let me run that through Google Translate... From "RecruiterSpeak" to "English"...

                                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                                    compensation: Doe

                                    "All salary figures below should be assumed to represent kilograms of venison"

                                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                                    We are looking for an incredibly talented and gifted programmer to join us in developing a world changing platform that would be adopted by everyone in the world.

                                    "Our platform was really revolutionary ten years ago, but it's already been done by ten other companies, and we think our trivial feature will be unique enough to compete against them."

                                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                                    We need a programmer who has been developing websites and platforms since they were a teenager!

                                    "If the Internet wasn't around (In its current form) when you were a teenager, you're too old and we won't hire you"

                                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                                    C, C++, PHP, Python, Javascript, and Go would be the languages you have mastered!

                                    "We don't know anything about programming, but my cousin's nephew said these are really popular right now"

                                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                                    The pay for this position is incredibly high, between $350k to $450K annually.

                                    "Paid in stock options that will soon become worthless"

                                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                                    You will only be required to be in the office to work when needed. Otherwise you are allowed to work remotely, so long as you get your tasks completed on time.

                                    "Our 'office' is actually the CEO's basement"

                                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                                    Must have real talent, as we are creating a life changing platform that will change the medical industry.

                                    "We don't know anything about the medical industry, but we heard there's a lot of money there, because... Obamacare!"

                                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                                    The team would be small, as there would only be 3 other programmers working with you

                                    "We're hoping we'll be able to find 3 or 4 people stupid enough to take this job"

                                    Kevin Marois wrote:

                                    We have set aside 5 million to pay programmers, so this position is incredibly high paying

                                    "In stock options, of course."

                                    Kevin Maro

                                    OriginalGriffO Offline
                                    OriginalGriffO Offline
                                    OriginalGriff
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #23

                                    Ian Shlasko wrote:

                                    "And please don't lie, because we'll have no way of verifying whether you actually know how to program."

                                    That's so easy! First, just find an "interview questions" article, then...

                                    Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

                                    "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                                    "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                                    I 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                                      Ian Shlasko wrote:

                                      "And please don't lie, because we'll have no way of verifying whether you actually know how to program."

                                      That's so easy! First, just find an "interview questions" article, then...

                                      Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

                                      I Offline
                                      I Offline
                                      Ian Shlasko
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #24

                                      Can't do that! What if the candidate has read the same article? They should find about ten different "interview questions" articles, and then take a few pieces from each one... Make sure to take entire clauses, not just individual words... For example... "What's the difference between Polymorphism and Quicksort?" "How would you estimate how many manhole covers there are on an airplane?"

                                      Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                                      Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

                                      OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • N newton saber

                                        Where do I upload your $2.5 million USD. Tomorrow we give you a raise

                                        R Offline
                                        R Offline
                                        R Giskard Reventlov
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #25

                                        My bank account is located at the Western Union branch on the corner of Happiness and Health. Just send it to VB_Coder. I'll collect the cash and send you the rest of the code. :thumbsup:

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • I Ian Shlasko

                                          Can't do that! What if the candidate has read the same article? They should find about ten different "interview questions" articles, and then take a few pieces from each one... Make sure to take entire clauses, not just individual words... For example... "What's the difference between Polymorphism and Quicksort?" "How would you estimate how many manhole covers there are on an airplane?"

                                          Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                                          Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

                                          OriginalGriffO Offline
                                          OriginalGriffO Offline
                                          OriginalGriff
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #26

                                          I thought that was the idea of "interview questions" articles? You learn 'em, the interviewer asks 'em, you parrot them back, you get the job! So obviously only the real, top quality, most experienceder of the experienciest, bestest of the bestest programmers would read them. :laugh: [OT] Google would appear to believe that "experienceder" is a real word, but "experienciest" isn't... [/OT]

                                          Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

                                          "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                                          "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                                          D 1 Reply Last reply
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