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It sucks being a senior

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  • M Mike Hankey

    She's single... She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door... I rushed to open it. She looks at me, and says, "I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long! Are you busy tonight?" I immediately replied, "Nope, I'm free... I have no plans at all!" Then she said, "Good! In that case, could you watch my kids?"

    New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.2 Beta
    I told my psychiatrist that I was hearing voices in my head. He said you don't have a psychiatrist!

    G Offline
    G Offline
    GuyThiebaut
    wrote on last edited by
    #10

    A young lady of the night was hired by an old man's son to give his father some fun for his birthday. She turned up on the old man's doorstep in her most revealing, but tasteful, clothing "I'm here to offer you super sex" to which the old man replied "I think I will have the soup".

    “That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”

    ― Christopher Hitchens

    M 1 Reply Last reply
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    • G GuyThiebaut

      A young lady of the night was hired by an old man's son to give his father some fun for his birthday. She turned up on the old man's doorstep in her most revealing, but tasteful, clothing "I'm here to offer you super sex" to which the old man replied "I think I will have the soup".

      “That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”

      ― Christopher Hitchens

      M Offline
      M Offline
      Mike Hankey
      wrote on last edited by
      #11

      :thumbsup:

      New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.2 Beta
      I told my psychiatrist that I was hearing voices in my head. He said you don't have a psychiatrist!

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • M Mike Hankey

        Good memory I had forgot that...wonder what ever happened to wizardzz, haven't heard from him a a long time.

        New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.2 Beta
        I told my psychiatrist that I was hearing voices in my head. He said you don't have a psychiatrist!

        Sander RosselS Offline
        Sander RosselS Offline
        Sander Rossel
        wrote on last edited by
        #12

        Actually he was here not so long ago, two or three weeks. Said "hi" and disappeared again :sigh:

        Read my (free) ebook Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly. Visit my blog at Sander's bits - Writing the code you need. Or read my articles here on CodeProject.

        Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. — Edsger W. Dijkstra

        Regards, Sander

        W 1 Reply Last reply
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        • M Mike Hankey

          Good memory I had forgot that...wonder what ever happened to wizardzz, haven't heard from him a a long time.

          New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.2 Beta
          I told my psychiatrist that I was hearing voices in my head. He said you don't have a psychiatrist!

          T Offline
          T Offline
          TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
          wrote on last edited by
          #13

          The last time he posted was 5 days ago...

          #SupportHeForShe Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • M Mike Hankey

            She's single... She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door... I rushed to open it. She looks at me, and says, "I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long! Are you busy tonight?" I immediately replied, "Nope, I'm free... I have no plans at all!" Then she said, "Good! In that case, could you watch my kids?"

            New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.2 Beta
            I told my psychiatrist that I was hearing voices in my head. He said you don't have a psychiatrist!

            9 Offline
            9 Offline
            9082365
            wrote on last edited by
            #14

            Entering my 55th year I got a three legged dog to attract interesting women. And it worked. The dog meets interesting women every day. I, on the other hand, have apparently become invisible. :(

            I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • N Nish Nishant

              A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful much younger lady at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special." At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, "By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds. I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon." On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said, "Sir, there's no money in that account." "I know," said the old man, "but let me tell you about my weekend."

              Regards, Nish


              Website: www.voidnish.com Blog: voidnish.wordpress.com

              R Offline
              R Offline
              Roger Wright
              wrote on last edited by
              #15

              :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I'm going to have to try that...

              Will Rogers never met me.

              R 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • R Roger Wright

                :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I'm going to have to try that...

                Will Rogers never met me.

                R Offline
                R Offline
                Rob Manderson
                wrote on last edited by
                #16

                Didn't work! :laugh:

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • Sander RosselS Sander Rossel

                  Actually he was here not so long ago, two or three weeks. Said "hi" and disappeared again :sigh:

                  Read my (free) ebook Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly. Visit my blog at Sander's bits - Writing the code you need. Or read my articles here on CodeProject.

                  Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. — Edsger W. Dijkstra

                  Regards, Sander

                  W Offline
                  W Offline
                  wizardzz
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #17

                  hi

                  Sander RosselS 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • M Mike Hankey

                    He is/was a standup also wasn't he?

                    New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.2 Beta
                    I told my psychiatrist that I was hearing voices in my head. He said you don't have a psychiatrist!

                    W Offline
                    W Offline
                    wizardzz
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #18

                    Hi Mike. Still doing the standup! I host a monthly showcase in Chicago and host a weekly open mic, even had some semi-famous comics stop by! I started a new job last month after 4.5 years at my old place, so I'll be here posting questions as I learn the new gig's tech stack!

                    M 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • W wizardzz

                      hi

                      Sander RosselS Offline
                      Sander RosselS Offline
                      Sander Rossel
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #19

                      hello

                      Read my (free) ebook Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly. Visit my blog at Sander's bits - Writing the code you need. Or read my articles here on CodeProject.

                      Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. — Edsger W. Dijkstra

                      Regards, Sander

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • W wizardzz

                        Hi Mike. Still doing the standup! I host a monthly showcase in Chicago and host a weekly open mic, even had some semi-famous comics stop by! I started a new job last month after 4.5 years at my old place, so I'll be here posting questions as I learn the new gig's tech stack!

                        M Offline
                        M Offline
                        Mike Hankey
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #20

                        Glad to hear your doing good wiz. When people stop posting on cp it's usually because they have a life and get busy with it but sometimes it's a more serious reason, glad yours is the former.

                        New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.2 Beta
                        I told my psychiatrist that I was hearing voices in my head. He said you don't have a psychiatrist!

                        1 Reply Last reply
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