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Code Project Rules of Software Development

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  • M Marc Clifton

    Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

    If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

    If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

    Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

    C Offline
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    CodeWraith
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    Oh no! Do we really need the whole bible?

    Quote:

    "What are we going to do?" "What a Ferengi always does in a situation this grave." "Panic?" "No, you idiot! He goes to the Rules of Acquisition. Unabridged and fully annotated with all 47 commentaries, all 900 major and minor judgments, all 10,000 considered opinions. There's a rule for every conceivable situation."

    I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats. His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.

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    • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

      FRoA 47 can go through unchanged:

      Quote:

      Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.

      Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640 Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

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      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      what happened to

      Quote:

      don't trust anyone that opens with, "I can help."

      ??

      This internet thing is amazing! Letting people use it: worst idea ever!

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      • M Marc Clifton

        Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

        If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

        If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

        Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

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        theoldfool
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        Software management 5th amendment: "it all depends".

        If you can keep your head while those about you are losing theirs, perhaps you don't understand the situation.

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        • L Lost User

          Maybe you missed the "Microsoft" keyword...

          OriginalGriffO Offline
          OriginalGriffO Offline
          OriginalGriff
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          Well ... It started as "C with classes" in 79, and Turbo C++ was out in 1990. But then came Visual C++ in 93, and pretty much since then if you reached for a C++ project, you reached for a MS product (Embedded excepted, I had some success with Embedded C++ on ARM processors at the beginning of the century) OK, Turbo C is still out there, but the last release was 12 years ago - name me a mainstream C++ IDE that doesn't come with the MS logo?

          Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640 Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

          "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
          "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

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          • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

            Well ... It started as "C with classes" in 79, and Turbo C++ was out in 1990. But then came Visual C++ in 93, and pretty much since then if you reached for a C++ project, you reached for a MS product (Embedded excepted, I had some success with Embedded C++ on ARM processors at the beginning of the century) OK, Turbo C is still out there, but the last release was 12 years ago - name me a mainstream C++ IDE that doesn't come with the MS logo?

            Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640 Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

            L Offline
            L Offline
            Lost User
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            :rolleyes: I thought this thread was supposed to be humorous. Apparently not... :rolleyes:

            OriginalGriffO M 2 Replies Last reply
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            • L Lost User

              :rolleyes: I thought this thread was supposed to be humorous. Apparently not... :rolleyes:

              OriginalGriffO Offline
              OriginalGriffO Offline
              OriginalGriff
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              C++ is not a frivolous language! It's the "Uncle in accounting" of programming languages. (C# can crack a joke from time to time, and VB is the Special Needs cousin you hope can't make it to the party)

              Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640 Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

              "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
              "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

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              • M Marc Clifton

                Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

                If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

                If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

                Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

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                E Offline
                Eric Lynch
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                Productivity is inversely proportional to the amount of time spent in meetings. The most difficult bugs to find are always in the "simplest" code. The longer it takes to explain your code the more likely it is that you don't understand it.

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                • M Marc Clifton

                  Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

                  If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

                  If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

                  Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

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                  DRHuff
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  We are all Dilbert

                  I'm pretty sure I would not like to live in a world in which I would never be offended. I am absolutely certain I don't want to live in a world in which you would never be offended. Freedom doesn't mean the absence of things you don't like. Dave

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                  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                    FRoA 47 can go through unchanged:

                    Quote:

                    Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.

                    Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640 Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                    J Offline
                    J Offline
                    Jon McKee
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    So can FRoA 112, "Never have sex with the boss' sister." :laugh:

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                    • M Marc Clifton

                      Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

                      If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

                      If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

                      Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

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                      PIEBALDconsult
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      He who does the least gets paid the most. And from despair.com... If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

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                      • M Marc Clifton

                        Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

                        If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

                        If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

                        Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

                        S Offline
                        S Offline
                        S Douglas
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        Oh, this should be an easy project. That is until you find out all of the requirements.


                        Common sense is admitting there is cause and effect and that you can exert some control over what you understand.

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                        • S S Douglas

                          Oh, this should be an easy project. That is until you find out all of the requirements.


                          Common sense is admitting there is cause and effect and that you can exert some control over what you understand.

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                          P Offline
                          PIEBALDconsult
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #20

                          And you will never know all the requirements.

                          S 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • M Marc Clifton

                            Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

                            If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

                            If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

                            Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

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                            CPallini
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #21

                            Codeproject Rules of Software Development? Klingon rules Software Development.

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                            • P PIEBALDconsult

                              And you will never know all the requirements.

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                              S Offline
                              S Douglas
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #22

                              Requirements are top secrete, no one is allowed to truly know them all. Even the requester isn't allowed to know what they seek.


                              Common sense is admitting there is cause and effect and that you can exert some control over what you understand.

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                              • S S Douglas

                                Requirements are top secrete, no one is allowed to truly know them all. Even the requester isn't allowed to know what they seek.


                                Common sense is admitting there is cause and effect and that you can exert some control over what you understand.

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                                T Offline
                                TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #23

                                I don't know why you're required to secrete out of your top....

                                #SupportHeForShe Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun

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                                • C Chris Maunder

                                  Never fix one bug when refactoring the entire module could bag you 50 more bugs. Corollary: Always try and get your manager to bonus you on the number of bugs you fix.

                                  cheers Chris Maunder

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                                  D Offline
                                  dan sh
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #24

                                  Chris Maunder wrote:

                                  Always try and get your manager to bonus you on the number of bugs you fix.

                                  You are such a good employer. CP devs, ask for bonus. We promise we will flood the sugs and bugs forum.

                                  "It is easy to decipher extraterrestrial signals after deciphering Javascript and VB6 themselves.", ISanti[^]

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                                  • L Lost User

                                    :rolleyes: I thought this thread was supposed to be humorous. Apparently not... :rolleyes:

                                    M Offline
                                    M Offline
                                    Mike Winiberg
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #25

                                    Hey, I thought that was a joke 8) MS may have implemented a few versions of C++, but had nothing to do with the original definition of the language (other than to implement slightly non-compliant versions) and still only have an input to the language design (rather than controlling it). Just shows how blinkered an idea one gets of the dev ecosystem if one has never stepped outside the MS universe I suppose. (I started using C++ from its very earliest days, developed for Windows and Linux with it for over 20 years, and never once did I do that with a Microsoft product.) HA HA HA HA

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                                    • C CPallini

                                      Codeproject Rules of Software Development? Klingon rules Software Development.

                                      D Offline
                                      D Offline
                                      Daniel Pfeffer
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #26

                                      Do you mean [Klingon Programmer — Software Development](http://www.smart-jokes.org/klingon-software.html)? :)

                                      Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.

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                                      • D Daniel Pfeffer

                                        Do you mean [Klingon Programmer — Software Development](http://www.smart-jokes.org/klingon-software.html)? :)

                                        Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.

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                                        C Offline
                                        CPallini
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #27

                                        Yep, no.17 is my favourite. :-D

                                        D 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • M Marc Clifton

                                          Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

                                          If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

                                          If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

                                          Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

                                          C Offline
                                          C Offline
                                          CodeZombie62
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #28

                                          If you announce to the universe that you are currently swamped with working on the next release, the universe (or a client) will find an annoying bug in the current release for you to fix that has been escalated to upper management and must be fixed NOW! Yeah, this one happened to me yesterday.

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