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Code Project Rules of Software Development

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  • M Marc Clifton

    Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

    If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

    If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

    Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

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    DRHuff
    wrote on last edited by
    #16

    We are all Dilbert

    I'm pretty sure I would not like to live in a world in which I would never be offended. I am absolutely certain I don't want to live in a world in which you would never be offended. Freedom doesn't mean the absence of things you don't like. Dave

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    • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

      FRoA 47 can go through unchanged:

      Quote:

      Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.

      Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640 Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

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      Jon McKee
      wrote on last edited by
      #17

      So can FRoA 112, "Never have sex with the boss' sister." :laugh:

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      • M Marc Clifton

        Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

        If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

        If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

        Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

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        PIEBALDconsult
        wrote on last edited by
        #18

        He who does the least gets paid the most. And from despair.com... If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

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        • M Marc Clifton

          Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

          If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

          If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

          Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

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          S Douglas
          wrote on last edited by
          #19

          Oh, this should be an easy project. That is until you find out all of the requirements.


          Common sense is admitting there is cause and effect and that you can exert some control over what you understand.

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          • S S Douglas

            Oh, this should be an easy project. That is until you find out all of the requirements.


            Common sense is admitting there is cause and effect and that you can exert some control over what you understand.

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            PIEBALDconsult
            wrote on last edited by
            #20

            And you will never know all the requirements.

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            • M Marc Clifton

              Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

              If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

              If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

              Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

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              CPallini
              wrote on last edited by
              #21

              Codeproject Rules of Software Development? Klingon rules Software Development.

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              • P PIEBALDconsult

                And you will never know all the requirements.

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                S Douglas
                wrote on last edited by
                #22

                Requirements are top secrete, no one is allowed to truly know them all. Even the requester isn't allowed to know what they seek.


                Common sense is admitting there is cause and effect and that you can exert some control over what you understand.

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                • C Chris Maunder

                  Never fix one bug when refactoring the entire module could bag you 50 more bugs. Corollary: Always try and get your manager to bonus you on the number of bugs you fix.

                  cheers Chris Maunder

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                  dan sh
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #23

                  Chris Maunder wrote:

                  Always try and get your manager to bonus you on the number of bugs you fix.

                  You are such a good employer. CP devs, ask for bonus. We promise we will flood the sugs and bugs forum.

                  "It is easy to decipher extraterrestrial signals after deciphering Javascript and VB6 themselves.", ISanti[^]

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                  • S S Douglas

                    Requirements are top secrete, no one is allowed to truly know them all. Even the requester isn't allowed to know what they seek.


                    Common sense is admitting there is cause and effect and that you can exert some control over what you understand.

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                    TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #24

                    I don't know why you're required to secrete out of your top....

                    #SupportHeForShe Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun

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                    • L Lost User

                      :rolleyes: I thought this thread was supposed to be humorous. Apparently not... :rolleyes:

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                      Mike Winiberg
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #25

                      Hey, I thought that was a joke 8) MS may have implemented a few versions of C++, but had nothing to do with the original definition of the language (other than to implement slightly non-compliant versions) and still only have an input to the language design (rather than controlling it). Just shows how blinkered an idea one gets of the dev ecosystem if one has never stepped outside the MS universe I suppose. (I started using C++ from its very earliest days, developed for Windows and Linux with it for over 20 years, and never once did I do that with a Microsoft product.) HA HA HA HA

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                      • C CPallini

                        Codeproject Rules of Software Development? Klingon rules Software Development.

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                        Daniel Pfeffer
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #26

                        Do you mean [Klingon Programmer — Software Development](http://www.smart-jokes.org/klingon-software.html)? :)

                        Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.

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                        • D Daniel Pfeffer

                          Do you mean [Klingon Programmer — Software Development](http://www.smart-jokes.org/klingon-software.html)? :)

                          Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.

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                          CPallini
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #27

                          Yep, no.17 is my favourite. :-D

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                          • M Marc Clifton

                            Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

                            If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

                            If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

                            Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

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                            CodeZombie62
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #28

                            If you announce to the universe that you are currently swamped with working on the next release, the universe (or a client) will find an annoying bug in the current release for you to fix that has been escalated to upper management and must be fixed NOW! Yeah, this one happened to me yesterday.

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                            • C CPallini

                              Yep, no.17 is my favourite. :-D

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                              Daniel Pfeffer
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #29

                              Mine are Nos. 13, 11, and 3. In that order! :)

                              Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.

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                              • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                                Well ... It started as "C with classes" in 79, and Turbo C++ was out in 1990. But then came Visual C++ in 93, and pretty much since then if you reached for a C++ project, you reached for a MS product (Embedded excepted, I had some success with Embedded C++ on ARM processors at the beginning of the century) OK, Turbo C is still out there, but the last release was 12 years ago - name me a mainstream C++ IDE that doesn't come with the MS logo?

                                Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640 Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

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                                tgenaux
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #30

                                VIM or Notepad++

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                                • M Marc Clifton

                                  Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

                                  If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

                                  If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

                                  Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

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                                  Slow Eddie
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #31

                                  Once you have added your client's most recent "feature" requested, he (or she) will invariably say, "Well if you can do that..". The more clueless your client is about programming the more he thinks he (or she) knows, and tries to help you out.

                                  The older I get the less sure I am about anything...

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                                  • M Marc Clifton

                                    Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

                                    If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

                                    If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

                                    Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

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                                    Lost User
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #32

                                    Instead of using emails to "sign off" for a nation-wide project, use the "brown folders" and internal mail. Never say you can change the font size; always say the report will need to be "totally redesigned" for a new field / column.

                                    "(I) am amazed to see myself here rather than there ... now rather than then". ― Blaise Pascal

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                                    • M Marc Clifton

                                      Similar to the [Ferengi Rules of Acquisition](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules\_of\_Acquisition), how about we create CP rules of Software Development? I'll start:

                                      If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.

                                      If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?

                                      Latest Article - Building a Prototype Web-Based Diagramming Tool with SVG and Javascript Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

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                                      WynterDragon
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #33

                                      - Never trust a Project Manager that says, "Just use Common Sense."

                                      “Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it’s a plan! —The Doctor, Season 7, Christmas Special”

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                                      • C CodeZombie62

                                        If you announce to the universe that you are currently swamped with working on the next release, the universe (or a client) will find an annoying bug in the current release for you to fix that has been escalated to upper management and must be fixed NOW! Yeah, this one happened to me yesterday.

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                                        Leng Vang
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #34

                                        Happens to me every week.

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                                        • W WynterDragon

                                          - Never trust a Project Manager that says, "Just use Common Sense."

                                          “Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it’s a plan! —The Doctor, Season 7, Christmas Special”

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                                          Leng Vang
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #35

                                          Any one use the word "just", don't stop. Run as fast as you can. "Just a little change" or "Just do it".

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