The joys of being "the computer guy" (rant)
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
I must act very patronizing to my family when they ask for help, so my family rarely asks. I didn’t think so, but the results speak for themselves. Most times, I have to volunteer something. I’ve also found that providing very detailed, step-by-step instructions can get people through a lot of things they would have otherwise been incapable of. My sister recently swapped the HDD for an SSD on her laptop based on instructions I emailed to her. She had one little problem but she and her hubby figured it out on their own. They were very proud of themselves for getting through it. Generating the instructions didn’t take much longer than actually doing it myself, since I didn’t have to sit around waiting for the disk clone to finish.
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
I normally use the great technique of recommending only what I would buy and am comfortable supporting. Generally, these are relatively expensive, and almost no one EVER follows my recommendations. In return, when there are problems, "I would help had you followed my recommendation, but I don't know the technology you've chosen; sorry." :)
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
What happened?
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
I think that you have some responsibility for this problem, though, unless things at her end have genuinely been screwed up by factors completely beyond her control (and she still owed you a phone call or other message if this is the case), she is certainly taking you for granted to an unacceptable degree. The one thing I would have done differently is to insist on making the appointment to do the local setup before taking the laptop home. If the two of you couldn't then come up with a mutually satisfactory date/time before your back to work deadline, I would either just have handed her the laptop or have set a time to drop it off after doing whatever you could and/or were prepared to do at your place, explaining in either case that she would need someone else to do the rest of the setup. My family know that I will help them out (most of them are sufficiently computer savvy that the problems they run into are of some inherent interest!), but that I work for others only on a commercial basis.
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
I don't think you're overreacting a bit. I've done exactly that - delivered, dropped off, or told them to pick up the computer at the agreed upon date without the recipient having stopped by to set up their user account, peripherals, and such. Only when it's family do I really try to adjust and coordinate and get it worked out. I'm "the tech guy" at work and at home. At work we're on a 4-year refresh cycle for computers, and employees get first crack at buying their old office machines for a nominal sum and taking them home [after I reset them and wipe the free space on the drive]. Great deal for $25 bucks. But the office has a very clear policy on future support - Bob's not responsible for any help once it leaves the office. If I agree to help, it's on my own time. It's only happened once that a now-home-machine came back. The employee had a sheepish look asking for help (No kidding:) She said, "my Dad goes weird places on the internet and now it doesn't work". The thing was totally riddled with viruses. "I don't get an antivirus?", I was asked. "Not for $25." I ended up resetting the machine from disk ("Where are all my Dad's files?" I answered, "The virus ate them. Tell your dad to get a different hobby. And, please don't bring this back into the office.") I actually enjoy the work - something different everyday, but I have billable work to do and this kind of tech stuff takes a back seat.
- Bob =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= Husband, father, veteran, hunter-gatherer, engineer, welder, owner-builder, beekeeper, coffee roaster
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
Awww... What if her cat gave birth... That's why she can't contact you.
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As the "computer guy" I got in the habit of telling people to bring their computer to my house to fix it. You'd be surprised how lazy people are in that they can't even be bothered to drop a computer off to be repaired for free. Got me out of 98% of requested repairs. :-D
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I shut-down my family’s access to my 'computer guy' abilities when I was about your age (10 years ago). For me, it came-down to basic human consideration (or lack thereof). I had a strong desire to be kind, help, and do so without expecting anything in return. What I accomplished was to communicate that I exist to help them with their computer problems... Any problem, any time, regardless of what was happening in my life. I was expected to accommodate them without cognition (apparently by either of us) that I too needed basic consideration. I didn’t realize that I did have a price: Consideration for me, and my need for them to attempt to learn (however much they were capable) to fend for themselves… Yet, they always wanted me to bring them a "fish", and I needed to see them desire to learn to fish themselves, even if they could only catch a bluegill, and I always brought them tuna steaks. I resigned when I literally was told that I was supposed to help them whenever they asked. It is up to each of us to decide how much we allow others to disrespect our time. I found my limit. I recommend dealing with it effectively before it can harm you & your relations.
cmkrnl wrote:
I resigned when I literally was told that I was supposed to help them whenever they asked. It is up to each of us to decide how much we allow others to disrespect our time. I found my limit. I recommend dealing with it effectively before it can harm you & your relations.
My sister pushed me over that limit when I asked her to sit and watch how I fixed a problem she kept running across a few years ago. She insisted I just fix it again whenever it happened and *refused* to try to sit and learn (and yes, it's the same sister who gave my name to that friend of hers).
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I normally use the great technique of recommending only what I would buy and am comfortable supporting. Generally, these are relatively expensive, and almost no one EVER follows my recommendations. In return, when there are problems, "I would help had you followed my recommendation, but I don't know the technology you've chosen; sorry." :)
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What happened?
Actual outcome? Had dinner at a restaurant with my folks yesterday evening and came back late; no phonecall, no follow-up, nothing. The laptop's still here (obviously), and I'm *not* gonna be the one calling her to enquire - but setting it up will be on my own schedule (some weekend, not a workday evening). She's gonna have to take it or leave it.
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Nope. If you have her address just ship it to her instead of dropping it off.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
I don't think you're over-reacting, and after reading all of the replies and your's - well, you've already taken your action, so I'm not going to recommend anything else. But for what it's worth, I used to be in this position with my wife's family and friends. She could see how it frustrated me, so now she just tells people that I don't do that kind of stuff, that I don't know anything about windows or macs, etc. Basically, she tells them I'm incompetent around computers, despite the fact that I owned my first computer and was coding in assembler back in the 1980s as a kid. Anyhow - for a while she told them I only knew Linux, and nothing else; of course all that is a fat lie, because I can find my way around any system you plop me in front of (ok - I might have difficulties with an old Vaxen or Symbolics Lisp machine - never touched either outside of a museum). But if it's anything consumer related made in past 20 years, I'll probably not have a problem. Heck, even an Amiga or older 8-bit machines aren't entirely out of the question either. But nope - all I know is Linux, stupid on anything else. But of course, now, I don't even know that (maybe I should have my wife tell 'em I only know TempleOS and it would be blasphemy to help unbelievers?)...
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
I found a friend who has a small garage shop and enjoys doing this kind of thing. When I get asked I say “I mostly do software work, but I have this friend who is very reasonable and will do you a good job.” Out comes his card, win, win, win, everyone happy.
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
You are overreacting. While the person may be not tech-savy, this is still a mature functioning human being. Treat an adult like you're supposed to treat adults. Give all the facts (like you did) and expect the person to think about the situation and make a decision. Separate technology from sociology.
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Actual outcome? Had dinner at a restaurant with my folks yesterday evening and came back late; no phonecall, no follow-up, nothing. The laptop's still here (obviously), and I'm *not* gonna be the one calling her to enquire - but setting it up will be on my own schedule (some weekend, not a workday evening). She's gonna have to take it or leave it.
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You are overreacting. While the person may be not tech-savy, this is still a mature functioning human being. Treat an adult like you're supposed to treat adults. Give all the facts (like you did) and expect the person to think about the situation and make a decision. Separate technology from sociology.
Member 9167057 wrote:
Treat an adult like you're supposed to treat adults
Like having the courtesy of letting them know you won't be able to make an appointment with them within the next 2+ week window they've given you? Yeah, I agree with you.
Member 9167057 wrote:
Separate technology from sociology.
I do, and have long concluded that people suck.
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Member 9167057 wrote:
Treat an adult like you're supposed to treat adults
Like having the courtesy of letting them know you won't be able to make an appointment with them within the next 2+ week window they've given you? Yeah, I agree with you.
Member 9167057 wrote:
Separate technology from sociology.
I do, and have long concluded that people suck.
I have read much of the thread (but not all of it). So it can be that you mentioned it already but perhaps that person is waiting for YOU to contact her. You are the specialist in her eyes so she doesn't want to bother you with "is it ready yet"-messages. Perhaps she misunderstood you when you said to call you when she had the time to finish the installation. People are not used to that kind of service any more :-) So instead of getting all frustrated, talk to her. This must the unique, once in a lifetime case where person A said something and person B misunderstood. Since you are a computer guy, you know that never ever happens. :cool:
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I have read much of the thread (but not all of it). So it can be that you mentioned it already but perhaps that person is waiting for YOU to contact her. You are the specialist in her eyes so she doesn't want to bother you with "is it ready yet"-messages. Perhaps she misunderstood you when you said to call you when she had the time to finish the installation. People are not used to that kind of service any more :-) So instead of getting all frustrated, talk to her. This must the unique, once in a lifetime case where person A said something and person B misunderstood. Since you are a computer guy, you know that never ever happens. :cool:
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There's always that possibility, but I had made it pretty clear to her I was gonna wait for her call, and--I forget her exact words, but her response indicated she understood.
Then stop being angry and wait for said call. Or not. The thing is, why on earth do you think that you have to stand-by and jump up the moment the call comes? You're the one making trouble here, not her. Here's how to solve this properly: Go on with whatever you're doing usually. When she calls, you still can look into your calendar and see when you have time. When she calls and asks questions on the phone, you still have the possibility to POLITELY decline if you're busy at the moment of the call. Or maybe, just maybe, she figured stuff out. Maybe, just maybe, she knows that you don't owe her anything and doesn't want to bother you unless she really needs to. Think about it, you're turning her not wanting to bother you into something negative. Why are you doing that?