Refactoring the soul
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
yes. Work is another form of relationship. There have been a number of realisation for myself when watching some drama about "why does she/he not just leave she/he if they are so unhappy?" and think, wow my job is like that, why do I keep going in? And some similarities when long term couples see the surface level of another couple (job opportunity) and think wow, that looks like a great couple. Why are we not like that. I will leave article which I found a few helpful points [How to Slow Down to Go Faster Than Ever in Software Development](https://www.infoq.com/articles/slow-down-go-faster)
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Mike Hankey wrote:
Then I had to take paperwork home because he would go through my desk at night and take papers.
:omg: Why wasn't he fired? Though, that was the question I asked myself every day at these previous jobs. The answer to one was old school corporate mentality, the other was basically "drinking buddies on the CEO's boat and neighbor of the CEO's brother." Talk about a conflict of interest.
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
Marc Clifton wrote:
Why wasn't he fired? Though, that was the question I asked myself every day at these previous jobs. The answer to one was old school corporate mentality, the other was basically "drinking buddies on the CEO's boat and neighbor of the CEO's brother."
Exactly. I've been in a couple of situations where a complete idiot could not get fired 'cuz they had buddies in the stratosphere. It didn't matter how badly they screwed up. Like in Wargames, the only way to win is to not play the game. Ya move on to a better place.
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Previous boss would stroll in at 9:30/10ish, fall asleep in his office and leave around 3. My normal day was get in around 6:30/7ish, leave around 4:30/5ish. He came over to my desk one day at lunch and "caught" me slacking off reading the news. Treated me like garbage from that point on no matter how good of a job I did, how much money I saved the company, etc. Years have passed and I haven't had any contact with him and I still get this guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach when I leave at noon on a Friday after I've already put in 45-50 hours for the week. Current job is tanking the confidence I have in my own decision making abilities because everything has to go up the chain, even some of the simplest stuff like "Can I take a day to go to a vendor conference that I was invited to speak at? No cost to the company and free publicity in our industry." takes two weeks as it goes through 3-4 levels to get a decision. :sigh:
Just ask for time off. Why do you need to give a reason/destination? Only use your personal contact information with a generic "industry" resume that omits your current employer. If they don't want the publicity, don't give it to them. If they do want the publicity, it should not count against your vacation.
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
One caveat; just like any drug, some people just crave the adrenaline rush that goes with high-pressure work. (I lump the abusive bosses/constant pressure in the same category). Not sure I'm expressing what I'm thinking properly. I'm not saying that's a good or healthy thing. I'm just saying some people get almost addicted to the stress. I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiment, Marc. It's amazing what can be accomplished when an organization hires smart people and empowers them to do good things as an alternative philosophy. In short, for less-experienced people: bad situations are not worth it. If you're in a situation where you hate getting out of bed in the morning, start looking.
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RJOberg wrote:
Can I take a day to go to a vendor conference that I was invited to speak at? No cost to the company and free publicity in our industry
I can understand why that needs high level approval, there is substantial reputational risk to the organisation involved in public presentations. You may be confident and capable in your subject matter but management actually needs to look at a wider picture. So it is not your decision making capability that is in question (after all you have already made that recommendation to management)
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity - RAH I'm old. I know stuff - JSOP
That's all true and I agree with all of it but that example was probably the highest profile occurrence. In normal instances it can be something as simple as sending an email to another department and running it past two levels of management. In the example, I think the part that really got me was the person who finally approved my request did so by stating, "Of course he can go! No he doesn't need to take time off, we'll pay for his time, why are you even bothering me with this question?" Honestly, the level of red tape is one root problem and not trusting their employees is another.
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
Job related stress can produce serious effects, and recovery can take years. You are far from alone in this.
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
i was at an abusive job for 19 years, i didn't realize how bad it was until i started telling my new coworkers stories about the old shop.
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
Oh absolutely. My experience at work from 2010-2015 was consecutively horrible. I too had a psychopathic boss. My previous career from 1978-2009 was pretty comfortable. Just the usual project death marches and stuff. It was so bad it left me shellshocked. It interfered with my interviewing for new jobs, caused me to ask questions that probably disqualified me as a candidate. I ended up retiring to write geeky books on C++ and experiment with all the software I never had time to try out when I was employed.
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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Eddy Vluggen wrote:
Without it, expect some unexpected delays :)
Like 3 Weeks to be able to install VS2017 Pro? :sigh: :sigh: Luckily enough, a bug in the installations package from the domain forced them to give me local admin level
M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
In my case I flooded the help desk with (genuine) tickets for installs, and blamed delays on their backlog. I got LocalAdmin.
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
The cycle of change. That "lovely" job can turn into a nightmare anytime; and vise-versa. Just knowing that, helps to keep things in perspective. But you also make your own luck. One other point: when things are rough, they usually leave you alone. When you're ready to proclaim victory, that's when they'll take it from you.
"(I) am amazed to see myself here rather than there ... now rather than then". ― Blaise Pascal
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Sheeet! I cut my programming teeth in 7th grade on one of those. Wrote a Star Trek game -- 10x10 grid that printed on a teletype each turn. A couple starbases, the Romulan neutral zone, bad guys. Those were the days! :-D
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
unfortunately, due to reorganization (layoffs) in my previous company i have been assigned to two different bosses. one of them, my older boss, was trying to prove to the director that this new "thing" is not going to work, albeit in a passive way. without telling him directly, but by sabotaging my daily work, giving me instant assignments that confronted my current assignments from the new boss. the new boss on the other had was a totalitarian psychopath who used to phone us on 20 minute basis to ask for progress, status, etc. in one word micromanagement at it's worst. he was also at high stress by this reorganization. the director also, everybody was taking some king of stress reducing pills. the place was falling apart. during that period i have developed insomnia and a nervous tick i still can't get rid off, even that now i work in a beautiful stress free company. 3 years have passed since then. one morning, after spending a sleepless nigh, i went angry to the directors office and said to him "you will assign me to only one boss, i don't care which one, or i will come to work but i'll stop working". he was afraid being caught on the radar by upper management so he complied. either that or he used me to the maximum and had to loosen up a little. a few months later a left that IT job for an unqualified workers job as a electric meter reader. in the past 3 years 5 of my colleagues have left that IT firm voluntarily and another 5 were forced to leave. the rest of them, some of my best friends, are still battling high pressure. the motto "stress increases productivity" is like mass hysteria. it doesn't leave the company once it's in, unless something huge breaks.
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RickZeeland wrote:
I think you watched too many episodes of "Utopia" :laugh:
No, seriously. That doesn't mean that I did not have my share of PBH's who assumed it would help to motivate me by applying deadlines and guaranteed deliverables; but I did have some fun annoying them before moving on. Go stress your surgeon if you think it helps and let me do the work I studied and am paid for :thumbsup:
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^] "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
The article you share here is great. I really like and appreciate your work super mario crossover
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Not claiming it's as bad as working for psychos, but working for people who totally ignore your work and its contribution to the business and ignore your advice (when they even bother to ask for it) can be as demoralising in the long-term. They complain that our web site isn't as 'wizzy' as the latest wiz apps online totally ignoring that it was built on Java Faces back when that was considered - by some (mainly @Oracle) to be all-singing-all-dancing, and purchased from a third party vendor. And we don't have access to any Java development software or a Java compiler. I try to contribute, I really do, but I'm losing the will to live..... :^)
Try and don't let go Superfighters
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Printing the maps on thermal paper ... hoping you won't run out of paper before you finish (or the modem disconnects).
"(I) am amazed to see myself here rather than there ... now rather than then". ― Blaise Pascal
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