There is generally a lot of truth in jokes
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Sander Rossel wrote:
It's a weird social construct that adds nothing
Depending on where you live it might add a lot of economic and social stability. I understand that in Japan it's common practise among gay couples, since gay marriages isn't recognized, that one adopts the other. This gives them the legal right to inherit each other.
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Jörgen Andersson wrote:
Depending on where you live it might add a lot of economic and social stability.
Exactly, it's an economic contract. In the Netherlands I believe you can obtain the same with a cohabitation contract. Beyond the economic contract I don't get it. You know, the standard girl's dream, big day, rituals, rings, through sickness and health, blah blah... Until the divorce anyway. In the Netherlands you can get married for free at the city hall on Monday. In, out, always prenub, and have that contract dealt with.
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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Quote:
It's a weird social construct that adds nothing
Oh yes it does, at least in the country I live. Basically, it is a contract (between m/f, f/f, m/m) that regulates one and the other. E.g. something important like pension fund or inheritance matters. Ok, you are young but the older you get, things like this becomes more important ;)
It does not solve my Problem, but it answers my question
Yeah, and since it's ONLY a contract (to me at least), it's absurd so many people are against same sex marriage. That's because to those people it's more, it's some holy ritual that ultimately changes nothing to your current reality. I get the contract, but beyond that I'm at a loss.
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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at least they tend to be more funny when there is. With all of the "marriage sucks" jokes lately (a lot of them by one specific member) it makes me wonder why do people bother getting married? Why do people keep getting married if it's such torture? I've never understood that. Marriage sucks jokes have been around forever yet people keep getting married. If your marriage is like all of these jokes, I suggest you go to counseling. Marriage does not have to be and should not be torture. It should be the best relationship you ever have. I suppose for some of you, maybe it is torture AND the best relationship at the same time. :laugh:
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other. Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it. Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
We tend to make jokes about subjects that make us uncomfortable. This is why sex and death are the eternal funny subjects. As for marriage, it involves living in very close proximity to someone whose fundamental thought processes differ from ours. For example, my wife had to figuratively beat me over the head before I realized that when she complained about her day, she wanted sympathy, not solutions. No wonder we tell jokes about it! We've survived 19 years and two teenage girls, so we can't be doing too badly...
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.
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Sure, it's religious. It's also political, which is an even better reason to avoid it. But it's also biological: albatross (amongst many other species) mate for life.
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You can "mate for life" without being married. Maybe not in all countries where marriage is still holy and you have to marry before you can look at a woman, but in the west you can mate all you want without being married :D
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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Slacker007 wrote:
there are more cons than pros,
When done right, marriage is the best way to raise children. Religious or not, biological or not, it has been proven to be the best way to raise kids and to stabilize society.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other. Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it. Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
Because you can't raise children when you're not married? :confused: You can live together and do all the things you'd do when you were married without actually being married.
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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You can "mate for life" without being married. Maybe not in all countries where marriage is still holy and you have to marry before you can look at a woman, but in the west you can mate all you want without being married :D
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
:thumbsup:
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Because you can't raise children when you're not married? :confused: You can live together and do all the things you'd do when you were married without actually being married.
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
Sander Rossel wrote:
Because you can't raise children when you're not married?
Obviously not.
Sander Rossel wrote:
You can live together and do all the things you'd do when you were married without actually being married.
That is a true statement.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other. Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it. Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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Sander Rossel wrote:
Because you can't raise children when you're not married?
Obviously not.
Sander Rossel wrote:
You can live together and do all the things you'd do when you were married without actually being married.
That is a true statement.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other. Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it. Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
ZurdoDev wrote:
Obviously not.
I can't tell if you're joking or being serious :^) I'd assume you're joking, but we've proven to have completely different viewpoints and beliefs that aren't always compatible before :laugh:
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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Yeah, and since it's ONLY a contract (to me at least), it's absurd so many people are against same sex marriage. That's because to those people it's more, it's some holy ritual that ultimately changes nothing to your current reality. I get the contract, but beyond that I'm at a loss.
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
I forgot to mention, here where I live: Church and state marriages are strictly separated and for legal aspects only state marriages/contracts count. And therefore also gender is no issue for a state marriage.
It does not solve my Problem, but it answers my question
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ZurdoDev wrote:
Obviously not.
I can't tell if you're joking or being serious :^) I'd assume you're joking, but we've proven to have completely different viewpoints and beliefs that aren't always compatible before :laugh:
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
You implied that I had said you can't raise children unless you're married. I'm shocked you would think I'd say something like that or that ANYONE would say something like that. Of course you can raise children even if you're not married. I don't think you read my post very clearly.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other. Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it. Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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I forgot to mention, here where I live: Church and state marriages are strictly separated and for legal aspects only state marriages/contracts count. And therefore also gender is no issue for a state marriage.
It does not solve my Problem, but it answers my question
0x01AA wrote:
And therefore also gender is no issue for a state marriage.
Not officially anyway ;) I think The Netherlands was the first country to legalize same sex marriage, but only after it was forbidden for centuries(?). They can marry now, but they can also be beaten up because, well, they are attracted to the same sex. It's not legal to beat them up, but it still happens :sigh: I also think civil servants are allowed to refuse a same sex marriage and another civil servant will do it instead. Not sure if that's legal, but I know it happens. I think we have the same system as well, by the way.
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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You implied that I had said you can't raise children unless you're married. I'm shocked you would think I'd say something like that or that ANYONE would say something like that. Of course you can raise children even if you're not married. I don't think you read my post very clearly.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other. Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it. Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
You're right, you said "the best way" and not "the only way". I still don't think it matters whether you're married or not though, but that's another matter :)
ZurdoDev wrote:
I'm shocked you would think I'd say something like that or that ANYONE would say something like that.
I think there are countries where you get jail time or worse when you get kids without being married. You'll at least be forced to marry (even when it's from rape, just to illustrate the seriousness of the matter). And it's not even that long ago that his was also the norm in our countries. Actually, I live in a bible belt where some people still frown upon getting children without being married or even living together without being married.
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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You're right, you said "the best way" and not "the only way". I still don't think it matters whether you're married or not though, but that's another matter :)
ZurdoDev wrote:
I'm shocked you would think I'd say something like that or that ANYONE would say something like that.
I think there are countries where you get jail time or worse when you get kids without being married. You'll at least be forced to marry (even when it's from rape, just to illustrate the seriousness of the matter). And it's not even that long ago that his was also the norm in our countries. Actually, I live in a bible belt where some people still frown upon getting children without being married or even living together without being married.
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
Sander Rossel wrote:
You're right, you said "the best way" and not "the only way".
Correct.
Sander Rossel wrote:
I still don't think it matters whether you're married or not though
Yes, I know that about you.
Sander Rossel wrote:
I think there are countries where you get jail time or worse when you get kids without being married.
Extremes are rarely a good thing.
Sander Rossel wrote:
where some people still frown upon getting children without being married or even living together without being married.
Luckily, that's not just in the Bible belt. But it is a fading practice, unfortunately.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other. Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it. Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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at least they tend to be more funny when there is. With all of the "marriage sucks" jokes lately (a lot of them by one specific member) it makes me wonder why do people bother getting married? Why do people keep getting married if it's such torture? I've never understood that. Marriage sucks jokes have been around forever yet people keep getting married. If your marriage is like all of these jokes, I suggest you go to counseling. Marriage does not have to be and should not be torture. It should be the best relationship you ever have. I suppose for some of you, maybe it is torture AND the best relationship at the same time. :laugh:
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other. Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it. Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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Slacker007 wrote:
there are more cons than pros,
When done right, marriage is the best way to raise children. Religious or not, biological or not, it has been proven to be the best way to raise kids and to stabilize society.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other. Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it. Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
ZurdoDev wrote:
marriage is the best way to raise children
agreed. that's a pro.
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You're right, you said "the best way" and not "the only way". I still don't think it matters whether you're married or not though, but that's another matter :)
ZurdoDev wrote:
I'm shocked you would think I'd say something like that or that ANYONE would say something like that.
I think there are countries where you get jail time or worse when you get kids without being married. You'll at least be forced to marry (even when it's from rape, just to illustrate the seriousness of the matter). And it's not even that long ago that his was also the norm in our countries. Actually, I live in a bible belt where some people still frown upon getting children without being married or even living together without being married.
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
Sander Rossel wrote:
You're right, you said "the best way" and not "the only way". I still don't think it matters whether you're married or not though, but that's another matter :)
This is much too complex a subject to be covered in a short post, but I'll try... The problem is that, as the Chinese ideogram for "mother" hints, everyone has a mother. Who the father is, is less certain. :) Shorn of the religious part, traditional (m-f) marriage is an attempt to balance between the obligation of the man to support his children and his fear (in the days before genetic testing) that his wife's children are not his, and that therefore he is supporting some freeloader's children. In marriage, a man agrees to support all children born in the marriage, and the woman agrees that her children will only be sired by the man. OTOH, there was no obligation on the man to support children born out of wedlock. This is one of the reasons why unfaithfulness by the woman was treated much more seriously than unfaithfulness by the man - it consisted possible fraud.
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.
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Do you get along with your best friend ALL the time? Marriage is like that, you can get out of sorts with your partner but there is enough love and friendship to get past differences and make up. The bond grows stronger through these situations. Been married for 32 years to my best friend and I wouldn't change any of it except for the times I've been an idiot and hurt her.
MarkTJohnson wrote:
I wouldn't change any of it except for the times I've been an idiot and hurt her.
Honest question: Has anyone ever found himself to be a situation where she admitted being the idiot and hurt you? That always seems to be so one-sided. The old joke, and it is one of them, is that it's always the guy who's wrong, no exception. I make mistakes and I'll own up. But it has to go both ways. Otherwise one of the two is pretending, and I refuse to play that game if those are the rules. (says the happily single guy)
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We tend to make jokes about subjects that make us uncomfortable. This is why sex and death are the eternal funny subjects. As for marriage, it involves living in very close proximity to someone whose fundamental thought processes differ from ours. For example, my wife had to figuratively beat me over the head before I realized that when she complained about her day, she wanted sympathy, not solutions. No wonder we tell jokes about it! We've survived 19 years and two teenage girls, so we can't be doing too badly...
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.
Daniel Pfeffer wrote:
my wife had to figuratively beat me over the head before I realized that when she complained about her day, she wanted sympathy, not solutions
That's so simple, yet tremendously insightful. If I commiserate to somebody else, typically it's because I'm fishing for solutions, as I have very little practical use for sympathy. Whereas if I have a solution, then that means in the future I can proactively work at avoiding altogether whatever got me down in the first place. Wanting sympathy, but not looking for solutions, simply means the situation will be repeating itself. That's the problem-solver in me speaking.
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I wasn't planning on getting married, ever :D It's a weird social construct that adds nothing when you're happy in love, but adds a lot of trouble when that love has gone :laugh: On a side note, I think raising or burning a flag, or a politician apologizing for slavery or WWII or whatever (anything they didn't personally do or had any influence on), a minute of silence and that sort of symbolic statements are all weird social constructs that I really don't get. They're symbolic and change absolutely nothing to what has already passed. Marriage, in that sense, is purely symbolic and does nothing except give you some tax benefits and arrange for your heritage that you could also get from a cohabitation contract.
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
Sander Rossel wrote:
tax benefits
Ding ding ding ding ding!! That's how I've come to view marriage. And considering the risks (more than 50% nowadays end up in divorce), I'd rather continue doing my own thing, thank-you-very-much. And when people tell me that's a sad way to look at things, I say keep that sympathy for those who were taken to the cleaners in a nasty divorce process. I can cite enough examples to make anyone weep.
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Jörgen Andersson wrote:
Depending on where you live it might add a lot of economic and social stability.
Exactly, it's an economic contract. In the Netherlands I believe you can obtain the same with a cohabitation contract. Beyond the economic contract I don't get it. You know, the standard girl's dream, big day, rituals, rings, through sickness and health, blah blah... Until the divorce anyway. In the Netherlands you can get married for free at the city hall on Monday. In, out, always prenub, and have that contract dealt with.
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Migrating Applications to the Cloud with Azure arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
Sander Rossel wrote:
You know, the standard girl's dream, big day, rituals, rings, through sickness and health, blah blah... Until the divorce anyway.
I guess that was never my sister's thing. She got married in my folk's backyard in the presence of them, myself, and a priest. And yeah, today she's divorced. Lasted a whole, I think, 6 years. She'd never admit it, but to me it's this simple: She spent 11 years with her first boyfriend, then when it became clear, as she was reaching her mid-30s, that she wasn't ever going to change his mind about not having kids, she got hitched to the first poor SOB who came along, got the kid she wanted, divorced him, he served his purpose, wham, bam, thank you sir, and they're now divorced. I actually feel more sorry for the guy than her, but at least she let him off easy, financially. By all legal rights she could've made his life a whole lot more difficult. Yet another way to convince me I've done the right thing. I want nothing to do with that sort of crap, and I've seen it all but too often.
