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A Word To The Wise

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  • R Roger Wright

    for my younger compatriots... DO NOT BUY WOMEN DRINKS. Period. It will not get you laid, nor will it garner you phone numbers (unless you believe that they all live at the same address with the phone number 911). I was reminded of this important lesson a few minutes ago, when I bought a cute (though rather fat) young lady a drink. She downed it without a glance or a word, despite the fact that I was sitting next to her. Mind you, I was not out to gain any bedside favors; she was cute, new to the area, and I wanted to make her feel welcome. A simple "Thanks" would have been sufficient. Not today, I guess... Whatever happenned to manners? It was a good reminder of an experiment I tried 15 years ago when I was travelling for a living. I decided one year to buy 100 drinks while I was away and record what resulted. After a long day in meetings (usually contract negotiations or design reviews) I stopped in my hotel bar for a few drinks. I watched and noted the most attractive (not always the prettiest) woman in the bar sitting alone - a number of traits attract me, and pretty isn't all that high on the list. I'd buy her a drink after a time, assuring myself first that she wasn't about to be joined by another man. I kept records of the results. One hundred drinks later, five said "Thank you." None asked me to join her. None invited me to her room. The only time I was invited to a room, in fact, was to protect a lady's honor from a rather ambitious Air Force Airman. But that's another story, for another night, and I'm quite sorry that story didn't have a different ending. Sometimes I really wish I could get rid of this conscience/honor thing that hangs around my neck...:sigh: The moral of the story, boys, is "save your money." Don't waste your time, or your cash buying her drinks. If your personality doesn't set her aflame, move on... more alcohol won't change things. "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

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    B Offline
    brianwelsch
    wrote on last edited by
    #13

    That's one thing I don't do either. No drinks, at least not as the "ice breaker". If we're already chatting and she's gone dry, I'll probably offer a refill if I sense a little connection or something. BW


    All the chickens get it.
    And them singing canaries get it.
    Even strawberries get it.

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    • S Shog9 0

      Meh. Conversation just means more drinks to buy. Now, if you can get her to buy you a drink...

      Ave Shog9, CP-addicti te salutant! - K(arl), The Soapbox

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      jan larsen
      wrote on last edited by
      #14

      Shog9 wrote: Now, if you can get her to buy you a drink... Ah, I, barely, remember those teenage years when I was in an indecently good shape. A friend and I were out of money on a summer trip we spend together, and we actually managed to get pretty drunk on drinks bought by women, or rather girls, we met at the nightclub. So, it's not impossible, it's not even hard, but I doubt that I could do it again with the beer belly, eye wrinkles and all the other signs of slowly decay build up on 34 years. "God doesn't play dice" - Albert Einstein "God not only plays dice, He sometimes throws the dices where they cannot be seen" - Niels Bohr

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      • R Roger Wright

        for my younger compatriots... DO NOT BUY WOMEN DRINKS. Period. It will not get you laid, nor will it garner you phone numbers (unless you believe that they all live at the same address with the phone number 911). I was reminded of this important lesson a few minutes ago, when I bought a cute (though rather fat) young lady a drink. She downed it without a glance or a word, despite the fact that I was sitting next to her. Mind you, I was not out to gain any bedside favors; she was cute, new to the area, and I wanted to make her feel welcome. A simple "Thanks" would have been sufficient. Not today, I guess... Whatever happenned to manners? It was a good reminder of an experiment I tried 15 years ago when I was travelling for a living. I decided one year to buy 100 drinks while I was away and record what resulted. After a long day in meetings (usually contract negotiations or design reviews) I stopped in my hotel bar for a few drinks. I watched and noted the most attractive (not always the prettiest) woman in the bar sitting alone - a number of traits attract me, and pretty isn't all that high on the list. I'd buy her a drink after a time, assuring myself first that she wasn't about to be joined by another man. I kept records of the results. One hundred drinks later, five said "Thank you." None asked me to join her. None invited me to her room. The only time I was invited to a room, in fact, was to protect a lady's honor from a rather ambitious Air Force Airman. But that's another story, for another night, and I'm quite sorry that story didn't have a different ending. Sometimes I really wish I could get rid of this conscience/honor thing that hangs around my neck...:sigh: The moral of the story, boys, is "save your money." Don't waste your time, or your cash buying her drinks. If your personality doesn't set her aflame, move on... more alcohol won't change things. "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

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        B Offline
        BlackDice
        wrote on last edited by
        #15

        You ever think that maybe it's just you? I'm no handsome catch, but usually when I go in a bar, women try to buy me drinks or at least come and make small talk to me. I've never bought a woman a drink because I just think that's the wrong way to start off. If we were already talking and I was buying one, then I might ask if she'd like one. I think just buying a woman a drink without being asked says a lot about the type of person you are. A lot of women look at you as just that: a guy who buys women drinks. I'd rather go up to her, ask her is she alone or waiting on someone. If I sit next to her, tell her why I wanted to sit next to her (I thought she was very sexy and/or beautiful), introduce myself, ask her name, then if things are still working from there, start a normal conversation. Whatever happens, happens. Things usually turn out good for me :) Maybe you should visit my blog: Woman Problems[^] My articles www.stillwaterexpress.com BlackDice

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        • W Weiye Chen

          Roger Wright wrote: None asked me to join her. None invited me to her room Perhaps they are waiting for you to make the 2nd move, like going to them, asking to be joined? :~ Roger Wright wrote: Sometimes I really wish I could get rid of this conscience/honor thing that hangs around my neck... Not even after drinking heavily? :~ Weiye Chen Life is hard, yet we are made of flesh...

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          Roger Wright
          wrote on last edited by
          #16

          Weiye Chen wrote: Not even after drinking heavily? :laugh: No, not even drinking heavily. It's a curse!:suss: "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

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          • S Shog9 0

            Meh. Conversation just means more drinks to buy. Now, if you can get her to buy you a drink...

            Ave Shog9, CP-addicti te salutant! - K(arl), The Soapbox

            R Offline
            R Offline
            Roger Wright
            wrote on last edited by
            #17

            Shog9 wrote: if you can get her to buy you a drink... Oddly enough, that has happenned on occasion.:-O "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

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            • K Kastellanos Nikos

              When i first read your comment, i thought you were joking, but soon i see what you were doing wrong. You tried to buy 100 drinks on 100 individual women! :rolleyes: Next time try 100:25 ;P

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              Roger Wright
              wrote on last edited by
              #18

              :laugh::laugh::laugh: "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

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              • P Priyank Bolia

                The survey is has very small number of participants, try with atleast 1000, with different drinks and for god sake don't publish the results on any developers site. Best of Luck.:-D:laugh:;P http://www.priyank.in/

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                Roger Wright
                wrote on last edited by
                #19

                Priyank Bolia wrote: Best of Luck I'm not looking for any - just trying to pass on a small part of my accumulated wisdom to the youngsters here.;) "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

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                • B BlackDice

                  You ever think that maybe it's just you? I'm no handsome catch, but usually when I go in a bar, women try to buy me drinks or at least come and make small talk to me. I've never bought a woman a drink because I just think that's the wrong way to start off. If we were already talking and I was buying one, then I might ask if she'd like one. I think just buying a woman a drink without being asked says a lot about the type of person you are. A lot of women look at you as just that: a guy who buys women drinks. I'd rather go up to her, ask her is she alone or waiting on someone. If I sit next to her, tell her why I wanted to sit next to her (I thought she was very sexy and/or beautiful), introduce myself, ask her name, then if things are still working from there, start a normal conversation. Whatever happens, happens. Things usually turn out good for me :) Maybe you should visit my blog: Woman Problems[^] My articles www.stillwaterexpress.com BlackDice

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                  Roger Wright
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #20

                  My experiment at the time was more about courtesy than anything else; picking up strangers in bars far from home is hardly a way to start a relationship. A simple "Thanks! That was nice of you." would have been pleasure enough. :) "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

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                  • A Anonymous Pussy

                    Try this. Instead of buying her a drink, send her a slender class of club soda full of ice cubes topped with slice of lemon. Scribble the following on a piece of paper "Wouldn't it be wonderful to live at a place where one stranger can say to another that you charm me and I would like to know who you are?" ...and for God sakes leave that pocket protector in the room.

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                    R Offline
                    Roger Wright
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #21

                    Anonymous Pussy wrote: for God sakes leave that pocket protector in the room. :laugh::laugh::laugh: Gads, I haven't seen one of those since college! Do they still make them? "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

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                    • R Roger Wright

                      for my younger compatriots... DO NOT BUY WOMEN DRINKS. Period. It will not get you laid, nor will it garner you phone numbers (unless you believe that they all live at the same address with the phone number 911). I was reminded of this important lesson a few minutes ago, when I bought a cute (though rather fat) young lady a drink. She downed it without a glance or a word, despite the fact that I was sitting next to her. Mind you, I was not out to gain any bedside favors; she was cute, new to the area, and I wanted to make her feel welcome. A simple "Thanks" would have been sufficient. Not today, I guess... Whatever happenned to manners? It was a good reminder of an experiment I tried 15 years ago when I was travelling for a living. I decided one year to buy 100 drinks while I was away and record what resulted. After a long day in meetings (usually contract negotiations or design reviews) I stopped in my hotel bar for a few drinks. I watched and noted the most attractive (not always the prettiest) woman in the bar sitting alone - a number of traits attract me, and pretty isn't all that high on the list. I'd buy her a drink after a time, assuring myself first that she wasn't about to be joined by another man. I kept records of the results. One hundred drinks later, five said "Thank you." None asked me to join her. None invited me to her room. The only time I was invited to a room, in fact, was to protect a lady's honor from a rather ambitious Air Force Airman. But that's another story, for another night, and I'm quite sorry that story didn't have a different ending. Sometimes I really wish I could get rid of this conscience/honor thing that hangs around my neck...:sigh: The moral of the story, boys, is "save your money." Don't waste your time, or your cash buying her drinks. If your personality doesn't set her aflame, move on... more alcohol won't change things. "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

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                      J Offline
                      J Hurrell
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #22

                      I see something common to all your experiences... You. Maybe you come off in a way that elicits that kind of behavior. --- "This isn't right. This isn't even wrong." -Wolfgang Pauli (1900 - 1958), on a paper submitted by a physicist colleague

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                      • R Roger Wright

                        Anonymous Pussy wrote: for God sakes leave that pocket protector in the room. :laugh::laugh::laugh: Gads, I haven't seen one of those since college! Do they still make them? "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

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                        Brigg Thorp
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #23

                        The modern version or a geeky pocket protector is called a Blackberry! :) Brigg Thorp Senior Software Engineer Timex Corporation

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                        • R Roger Wright

                          My experiment at the time was more about courtesy than anything else; picking up strangers in bars far from home is hardly a way to start a relationship. A simple "Thanks! That was nice of you." would have been pleasure enough. :) "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

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                          El Corazon
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #24

                          Roger Wright wrote: A simple "Thanks! That was nice of you." would have been pleasure enough. That is rare indeed. Even being married, buying her something only gets, "what did you do wrong?" _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

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                          • R Roger Wright

                            Priyank Bolia wrote: Best of Luck I'm not looking for any - just trying to pass on a small part of my accumulated wisdom to the youngsters here.;) "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

                            E Offline
                            E Offline
                            El Corazon
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #25

                            Roger Wright wrote: just trying to pass on a small part of my accumulated wisdom to the youngsters here. ahhh, so I should have closed my ears... ;) _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • R Roger Wright

                              for my younger compatriots... DO NOT BUY WOMEN DRINKS. Period. It will not get you laid, nor will it garner you phone numbers (unless you believe that they all live at the same address with the phone number 911). I was reminded of this important lesson a few minutes ago, when I bought a cute (though rather fat) young lady a drink. She downed it without a glance or a word, despite the fact that I was sitting next to her. Mind you, I was not out to gain any bedside favors; she was cute, new to the area, and I wanted to make her feel welcome. A simple "Thanks" would have been sufficient. Not today, I guess... Whatever happenned to manners? It was a good reminder of an experiment I tried 15 years ago when I was travelling for a living. I decided one year to buy 100 drinks while I was away and record what resulted. After a long day in meetings (usually contract negotiations or design reviews) I stopped in my hotel bar for a few drinks. I watched and noted the most attractive (not always the prettiest) woman in the bar sitting alone - a number of traits attract me, and pretty isn't all that high on the list. I'd buy her a drink after a time, assuring myself first that she wasn't about to be joined by another man. I kept records of the results. One hundred drinks later, five said "Thank you." None asked me to join her. None invited me to her room. The only time I was invited to a room, in fact, was to protect a lady's honor from a rather ambitious Air Force Airman. But that's another story, for another night, and I'm quite sorry that story didn't have a different ending. Sometimes I really wish I could get rid of this conscience/honor thing that hangs around my neck...:sigh: The moral of the story, boys, is "save your money." Don't waste your time, or your cash buying her drinks. If your personality doesn't set her aflame, move on... more alcohol won't change things. "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

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                              Dion
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #26

                              Roger Wright wrote: The moral of the story, boys, is "save your money." Don't waste your time, or your cash buying her drinks. If your personality doesn't set her aflame, move on... more alcohol won't change things. Pretty good point but now you need to take the next step: 1. Be kind of a jerk, try to keep it humerous though. 2. Tell her to buy you a drink. 3. Go where you want with it from there. I've tried both ways, and with method 2 they'll be dragging you into the womens restroom at the bar. Buying women a drink just lets them know that you are a pushover. By the way, there is an interesting book by David DeAngelo called Double your dating.

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                              • L Lost User

                                It's honest which is a novelty and beats the usual ones which I won't discuss outside the soapbox. It is an introduction, no more. The tigress is here :-D

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                                Anonymous Pussy
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #27

                                Merci Mademoiselle. Only a women can get what it means. FYI, the line is from Richard Bach's book "The bridge across forever". Presentation however is mine.

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                                • R Roger Wright

                                  for my younger compatriots... DO NOT BUY WOMEN DRINKS. Period. It will not get you laid, nor will it garner you phone numbers (unless you believe that they all live at the same address with the phone number 911). I was reminded of this important lesson a few minutes ago, when I bought a cute (though rather fat) young lady a drink. She downed it without a glance or a word, despite the fact that I was sitting next to her. Mind you, I was not out to gain any bedside favors; she was cute, new to the area, and I wanted to make her feel welcome. A simple "Thanks" would have been sufficient. Not today, I guess... Whatever happenned to manners? It was a good reminder of an experiment I tried 15 years ago when I was travelling for a living. I decided one year to buy 100 drinks while I was away and record what resulted. After a long day in meetings (usually contract negotiations or design reviews) I stopped in my hotel bar for a few drinks. I watched and noted the most attractive (not always the prettiest) woman in the bar sitting alone - a number of traits attract me, and pretty isn't all that high on the list. I'd buy her a drink after a time, assuring myself first that she wasn't about to be joined by another man. I kept records of the results. One hundred drinks later, five said "Thank you." None asked me to join her. None invited me to her room. The only time I was invited to a room, in fact, was to protect a lady's honor from a rather ambitious Air Force Airman. But that's another story, for another night, and I'm quite sorry that story didn't have a different ending. Sometimes I really wish I could get rid of this conscience/honor thing that hangs around my neck...:sigh: The moral of the story, boys, is "save your money." Don't waste your time, or your cash buying her drinks. If your personality doesn't set her aflame, move on... more alcohol won't change things. "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

                                  M Offline
                                  M Offline
                                  Member 96
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #28

                                  Personally I've always found it far more rewarding to have women buy *me* drinks, but cest la vie! ;P


                                  "A preoccupation with the next world pretty clearly signals an inability to cope credibly with this one."

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                                  • R Roger Wright

                                    for my younger compatriots... DO NOT BUY WOMEN DRINKS. Period. It will not get you laid, nor will it garner you phone numbers (unless you believe that they all live at the same address with the phone number 911). I was reminded of this important lesson a few minutes ago, when I bought a cute (though rather fat) young lady a drink. She downed it without a glance or a word, despite the fact that I was sitting next to her. Mind you, I was not out to gain any bedside favors; she was cute, new to the area, and I wanted to make her feel welcome. A simple "Thanks" would have been sufficient. Not today, I guess... Whatever happenned to manners? It was a good reminder of an experiment I tried 15 years ago when I was travelling for a living. I decided one year to buy 100 drinks while I was away and record what resulted. After a long day in meetings (usually contract negotiations or design reviews) I stopped in my hotel bar for a few drinks. I watched and noted the most attractive (not always the prettiest) woman in the bar sitting alone - a number of traits attract me, and pretty isn't all that high on the list. I'd buy her a drink after a time, assuring myself first that she wasn't about to be joined by another man. I kept records of the results. One hundred drinks later, five said "Thank you." None asked me to join her. None invited me to her room. The only time I was invited to a room, in fact, was to protect a lady's honor from a rather ambitious Air Force Airman. But that's another story, for another night, and I'm quite sorry that story didn't have a different ending. Sometimes I really wish I could get rid of this conscience/honor thing that hangs around my neck...:sigh: The moral of the story, boys, is "save your money." Don't waste your time, or your cash buying her drinks. If your personality doesn't set her aflame, move on... more alcohol won't change things. "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

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                                    CSharpDavid
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #29

                                    This is not true! I was recently in Norway and met 2 women who I plied with $9 beers. Its more fun with 3 !(as long as your the only male and the other two are women)

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                                    • R Roger Wright

                                      Priyank Bolia wrote: Best of Luck I'm not looking for any - just trying to pass on a small part of my accumulated wisdom to the youngsters here.;) "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley

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                                      Priyank Bolia
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #30

                                      Roger Wright wrote: pass on a small part of my accumulated wisdom to the youngsters here. Why not write an article on "An introduction to flirt.net".:laugh: http://www.priyank.in/

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                                      • L Lost User

                                        It's honest which is a novelty and beats the usual ones which I won't discuss outside the soapbox. It is an introduction, no more. The tigress is here :-D

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                                        S Offline
                                        Shog9 0
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #31

                                        Trollslayer wrote: It's honest Riiiiight... :rolleyes:

                                        My god, you're a genius! - Jörgen Sigvardsson, The Lounge

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                                        • N Nish Nishant

                                          Shog9 wrote: Now, if you can get her to buy you a drink... And risk the possibility of ending up mararied to her :rolleyes:

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                                          S Offline
                                          Shog9 0
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #32

                                          Life is risky - that's half the fun. :)

                                          ----------------------------------------
                                          the ocean is full because everyone's crying

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