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JOTD - Funny one liners about working

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  • M Marc Clifton

    "I tried programming but my work wasn't up to code." ;P Marc VS2005 Tips & Tricks -- contributions welcome!

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    Ravi Bhavnani
    wrote on last edited by
    #7

    I had a brief stint as a lawyer, but quit because the judge kept getting on my case. ;P /ravi My new year's resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Music | Articles | Freeware | Trips ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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    • M Marc Clifton

      "I tried programming but my work wasn't up to code." ;P Marc VS2005 Tips & Tricks -- contributions welcome!

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      Ravi Bhavnani
      wrote on last edited by
      #8

      I was fired from my job as a race car driver because my boss thought I was a slow learner. Apparently I was taking too long to come up to speed. ;P /ravi My new year's resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Music | Articles | Freeware | Trips ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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      • M Marc Clifton

        "I tried programming but my work wasn't up to code." ;P Marc VS2005 Tips & Tricks -- contributions welcome!

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        Ravi Bhavnani
        wrote on last edited by
        #9

        I worked briefly as an optometrist but quit because I didn't see eye to eye with management. ;P /ravi My new year's resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Music | Articles | Freeware | Trips ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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        • M Marc Clifton

          "I tried programming but my work wasn't up to code." ;P Marc VS2005 Tips & Tricks -- contributions welcome!

          R Offline
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          Ravi Bhavnani
          wrote on last edited by
          #10

          I quit my job as a cab driver because I felt I wasn't going anywhere. ;P /ravi My new year's resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Music | Articles | Freeware | Trips ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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          • M Marc Clifton

            "I tried programming but my work wasn't up to code." ;P Marc VS2005 Tips & Tricks -- contributions welcome!

            R Offline
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            Ravi Bhavnani
            wrote on last edited by
            #11

            I hated my job as a circus performer - I was sick of working with a bunch of clowns. ;P /ravi My new year's resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Music | Articles | Freeware | Trips ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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            • M Marc Clifton

              "I tried programming but my work wasn't up to code." ;P Marc VS2005 Tips & Tricks -- contributions welcome!

              R Offline
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              Ravi Bhavnani
              wrote on last edited by
              #12

              I didn't last too long as a parking attendant - I thought it was a dead-end job. ;P /ravi My new year's resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Music | Articles | Freeware | Trips ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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              • C Chris LaQuerre

                There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
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                Jack Puppy
                wrote on last edited by
                #13

                I once had a very brief stint as a comedian, and that's why you won't find this reply very funny. "When you know you're going to eat crow, it's best to eat it while it's still warm." - Reader's Digest

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                • C Chris LaQuerre

                  There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                  • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                  • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                  • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                  • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                  • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                  • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                  • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                  • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                  • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
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                  Jack Puppy
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #14

                  Then there was the time I was an elevator operator, it was such an uplifting experience. (I think plastic surgeon may work here too) "When you know you're going to eat crow, it's best to eat it while it's still warm." - Reader's Digest

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                  • C Chris LaQuerre

                    There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                    • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                    • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                    • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                    • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                    • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                    • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                    • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                    • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                    • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
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                    Duncan Edwards Jones
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #15

                    I wanted to be a photographer but I lacked focus. Then I trained to develop films but found I had negative feedback. '--8<------------------------ Ex Datis: Duncan Jones Merrion Computing Ltd

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                    • C Chris LaQuerre

                      There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                      • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                      • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                      • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                      • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                      • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                      • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                      • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                      • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                      • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                      S Offline
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                      Steve Mayfield
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #16

                      I want to try stripping, but I couldn't pull it off...:-O Steve

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                      • C Chris LaQuerre

                        There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                        • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                        • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                        • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                        • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                        • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                        • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                        • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                        • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                        • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                        S Offline
                        S Offline
                        Steve Mayfield
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #17

                        Tried my hand as a pharmacist, boy was that a prescription for failure. Steve

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                        • C Chris LaQuerre

                          There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                          • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                          • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                          • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                          • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                          • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                          • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                          • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                          • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                          • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                          S Offline
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                          Steve Mayfield
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #18

                          Next I hired on as a cashier, checked out the first day. Steve

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                          • S Steve Mayfield

                            I want to try stripping, but I couldn't pull it off...:-O Steve

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                            Garth J Lancaster
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #19

                            rotflmao !!

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                            • C Chris LaQuerre

                              There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                              • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                              • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                              • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                              • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                              • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                              • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                              • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                              • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                              • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                              S Offline
                              S Offline
                              Steve Mayfield
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #20

                              Got a job as a Football Quarterback, I was sacked the first week Steve

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • C Chris LaQuerre

                                There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                                • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                                • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                                • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                                • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                                • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                                • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                                • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                                • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                                • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                                G Offline
                                G Offline
                                Gary R Wheeler
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #21

                                I got a job cleaning the beaver pen at the zoo, but it was one dam thing after another.


                                Software Zen: delete this;

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                                • J Jack Puppy

                                  Then there was the time I was an elevator operator, it was such an uplifting experience. (I think plastic surgeon may work here too) "When you know you're going to eat crow, it's best to eat it while it's still warm." - Reader's Digest

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                                  R Offline
                                  Ravi Bhavnani
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #22

                                  Jack Squirrel wrote:

                                  it was such an uplifting experience.

                                  I wish I could say the same. The constant ups and downs of my job wore me out. ;P /ravi My new year's resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Music | Articles | Freeware | Trips ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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                                  • C Chris LaQuerre

                                    There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                                    • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                                    • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                                    • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                                    • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                                    • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                                    • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                                    • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                                    • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                                    • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                                    D Offline
                                    D Offline
                                    Dan Neely
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #23

                                    Tried my luck as a bounty hunter but wasn't able to absorb all the rules and threw in the towel. For nonUS readers, bounty is a brand of paper towel whose marketing includes claims to be more absorbant than the competition.

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