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  3. JOTD - Funny one liners about working

JOTD - Funny one liners about working

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  • C Chris LaQuerre

    There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

    • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
    • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
    • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
    • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
    • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
    • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
    • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
    • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
    • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
    J Offline
    J Offline
    Jack Puppy
    wrote on last edited by
    #14

    Then there was the time I was an elevator operator, it was such an uplifting experience. (I think plastic surgeon may work here too) "When you know you're going to eat crow, it's best to eat it while it's still warm." - Reader's Digest

    RaviBeeR 1 Reply Last reply
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    • C Chris LaQuerre

      There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

      • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
      • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
      • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
      • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
      • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
      • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
      • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
      • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
      • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
      D Offline
      D Offline
      Duncan Edwards Jones
      wrote on last edited by
      #15

      I wanted to be a photographer but I lacked focus. Then I trained to develop films but found I had negative feedback. '--8<------------------------ Ex Datis: Duncan Jones Merrion Computing Ltd

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      • C Chris LaQuerre

        There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

        • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
        • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
        • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
        • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
        • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
        • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
        • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
        • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
        • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
        S Offline
        S Offline
        Steve Mayfield
        wrote on last edited by
        #16

        I want to try stripping, but I couldn't pull it off...:-O Steve

        G 1 Reply Last reply
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        • C Chris LaQuerre

          There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

          • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
          • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
          • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
          • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
          • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
          • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
          • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
          • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
          • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
          S Offline
          S Offline
          Steve Mayfield
          wrote on last edited by
          #17

          Tried my hand as a pharmacist, boy was that a prescription for failure. Steve

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • C Chris LaQuerre

            There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

            • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
            • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
            • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
            • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
            • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
            • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
            • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
            • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
            • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
            S Offline
            S Offline
            Steve Mayfield
            wrote on last edited by
            #18

            Next I hired on as a cashier, checked out the first day. Steve

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • S Steve Mayfield

              I want to try stripping, but I couldn't pull it off...:-O Steve

              G Offline
              G Offline
              Garth J Lancaster
              wrote on last edited by
              #19

              rotflmao !!

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • C Chris LaQuerre

                There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                S Offline
                S Offline
                Steve Mayfield
                wrote on last edited by
                #20

                Got a job as a Football Quarterback, I was sacked the first week Steve

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • C Chris LaQuerre

                  There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                  • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                  • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                  • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                  • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                  • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                  • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                  • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                  • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                  • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                  G Offline
                  G Offline
                  Gary R Wheeler
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #21

                  I got a job cleaning the beaver pen at the zoo, but it was one dam thing after another.


                  Software Zen: delete this;

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • J Jack Puppy

                    Then there was the time I was an elevator operator, it was such an uplifting experience. (I think plastic surgeon may work here too) "When you know you're going to eat crow, it's best to eat it while it's still warm." - Reader's Digest

                    RaviBeeR Offline
                    RaviBeeR Offline
                    RaviBee
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #22

                    Jack Squirrel wrote:

                    it was such an uplifting experience.

                    I wish I could say the same. The constant ups and downs of my job wore me out. ;P /ravi My new year's resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Music | Articles | Freeware | Trips ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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                    • C Chris LaQuerre

                      There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                      • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                      • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                      • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                      • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                      • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                      • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                      • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                      • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                      • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                      D Offline
                      D Offline
                      Dan Neely
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #23

                      Tried my luck as a bounty hunter but wasn't able to absorb all the rules and threw in the towel. For nonUS readers, bounty is a brand of paper towel whose marketing includes claims to be more absorbant than the competition.

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