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  3. JOTD - Funny one liners about working

JOTD - Funny one liners about working

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  • M Marc Clifton

    "I tried programming but my work wasn't up to code." ;P Marc VS2005 Tips & Tricks -- contributions welcome!

    RaviBeeR Offline
    RaviBeeR Offline
    RaviBee
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    I worked briefly as an optometrist but quit because I didn't see eye to eye with management. ;P /ravi My new year's resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Music | Articles | Freeware | Trips ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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    • M Marc Clifton

      "I tried programming but my work wasn't up to code." ;P Marc VS2005 Tips & Tricks -- contributions welcome!

      RaviBeeR Offline
      RaviBeeR Offline
      RaviBee
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      I quit my job as a cab driver because I felt I wasn't going anywhere. ;P /ravi My new year's resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Music | Articles | Freeware | Trips ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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      • M Marc Clifton

        "I tried programming but my work wasn't up to code." ;P Marc VS2005 Tips & Tricks -- contributions welcome!

        RaviBeeR Offline
        RaviBeeR Offline
        RaviBee
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        I hated my job as a circus performer - I was sick of working with a bunch of clowns. ;P /ravi My new year's resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Music | Articles | Freeware | Trips ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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        • M Marc Clifton

          "I tried programming but my work wasn't up to code." ;P Marc VS2005 Tips & Tricks -- contributions welcome!

          RaviBeeR Offline
          RaviBeeR Offline
          RaviBee
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          I didn't last too long as a parking attendant - I thought it was a dead-end job. ;P /ravi My new year's resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Music | Articles | Freeware | Trips ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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          • C Chris LaQuerre

            There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

            • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
            • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
            • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
            • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
            • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
            • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
            • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
            • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
            • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
            J Offline
            J Offline
            Jack Puppy
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            I once had a very brief stint as a comedian, and that's why you won't find this reply very funny. "When you know you're going to eat crow, it's best to eat it while it's still warm." - Reader's Digest

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            • C Chris LaQuerre

              There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

              • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
              • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
              • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
              • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
              • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
              • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
              • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
              • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
              • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
              J Offline
              J Offline
              Jack Puppy
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              Then there was the time I was an elevator operator, it was such an uplifting experience. (I think plastic surgeon may work here too) "When you know you're going to eat crow, it's best to eat it while it's still warm." - Reader's Digest

              RaviBeeR 1 Reply Last reply
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              • C Chris LaQuerre

                There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                D Offline
                D Offline
                Duncan Edwards Jones
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                I wanted to be a photographer but I lacked focus. Then I trained to develop films but found I had negative feedback. '--8<------------------------ Ex Datis: Duncan Jones Merrion Computing Ltd

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                • C Chris LaQuerre

                  There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                  • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                  • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                  • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                  • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                  • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                  • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                  • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                  • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                  • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                  S Offline
                  S Offline
                  Steve Mayfield
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  I want to try stripping, but I couldn't pull it off...:-O Steve

                  G 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • C Chris LaQuerre

                    There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                    • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                    • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                    • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                    • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                    • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                    • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                    • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                    • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                    • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                    S Offline
                    S Offline
                    Steve Mayfield
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    Tried my hand as a pharmacist, boy was that a prescription for failure. Steve

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • C Chris LaQuerre

                      There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                      • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                      • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                      • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                      • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                      • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                      • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                      • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                      • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                      • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                      S Offline
                      S Offline
                      Steve Mayfield
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      Next I hired on as a cashier, checked out the first day. Steve

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • S Steve Mayfield

                        I want to try stripping, but I couldn't pull it off...:-O Steve

                        G Offline
                        G Offline
                        Garth J Lancaster
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        rotflmao !!

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • C Chris LaQuerre

                          There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                          • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                          • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                          • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                          • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                          • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                          • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                          • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                          • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                          • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                          S Offline
                          S Offline
                          Steve Mayfield
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #20

                          Got a job as a Football Quarterback, I was sacked the first week Steve

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • C Chris LaQuerre

                            There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                            • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                            • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                            • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                            • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                            • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                            • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                            • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                            • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                            • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                            G Offline
                            G Offline
                            Gary R Wheeler
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #21

                            I got a job cleaning the beaver pen at the zoo, but it was one dam thing after another.


                            Software Zen: delete this;

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                            • J Jack Puppy

                              Then there was the time I was an elevator operator, it was such an uplifting experience. (I think plastic surgeon may work here too) "When you know you're going to eat crow, it's best to eat it while it's still warm." - Reader's Digest

                              RaviBeeR Offline
                              RaviBeeR Offline
                              RaviBee
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #22

                              Jack Squirrel wrote:

                              it was such an uplifting experience.

                              I wish I could say the same. The constant ups and downs of my job wore me out. ;P /ravi My new year's resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Music | Articles | Freeware | Trips ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • C Chris LaQuerre

                                There are a few good ones on http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm[^]. Here are my favorites:* My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

                                • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
                                • After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
                                • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
                                • Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
                                • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
                                • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
                                • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
                                • So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
                                • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader
                                D Offline
                                D Offline
                                Dan Neely
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #23

                                Tried my luck as a bounty hunter but wasn't able to absorb all the rules and threw in the towel. For nonUS readers, bounty is a brand of paper towel whose marketing includes claims to be more absorbant than the competition.

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