The Onion - God is Pissed
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Come on Mike, you know full well they have all sorts of "free-will" and "God must be evil to be kind" excuses up their sleeves. They have get-out clauses to every possible question. David Wulff, Founder of The BLA dwulff@battleaxesoftware.com New's flash - Bob caught in kitchen incident.
They have get-out clauses to every possible question. Yes, and isn't amazing how god managed to create a system that seems so 'man-made'! ----------------------------- "I leave no turn un-stoned. " - John Simmons, Nov 6 2001 -----------------------------
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THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD.... David how is your head and that brick wall coming along? :-D Michael Martin Pegasystems Pty Ltd Australia martm@pegasystems.com +61 413-004-018 "Don't belong. Never join. Think for yourself. Peace" - Victor Stone
Strange - I was just thinking that. David Wulff, Founder of The BLA dwulff@battleaxesoftware.com New's flash - Bob caught in kitchen incident.
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Were they motivated by the any Christian doctrines? I don't think anybody would consider them as Christians. No? Tim McVeigh was a Christian, and under their 'rules' is now in heaven. But that's my point. No one can say what religion a person is, save the individual themselves. Nowhere is there a set of rules that you must adhere to in order to be considered religious. A prime example are the supposed motives driving the Taliban. And I don't know if you can say that - thoughout history people have believed that certian religions give them the right to butcher other religions' followers. Again that brings me back to the fact that anybody can interpret a religion in any way they like. David Wulff, Founder of The BLA dwulff@battleaxesoftware.com New's flash - Bob caught in kitchen incident.
Tim McVeigh was a Christian, and under their 'rules' is now in heaven. I don't know about this, but even if it's true, this shouldn't motivate someone like Hitler to do something that can only be characterized as crime agaist humanity. Again that brings me back to the fact that anybody can interpret a religion in any way they like. AFAIK, every religion has given some scope, within which you can interpret things differently. I don't think this is a problem, as long as it doesn't contradicts the major principals. I gotta go now. It's been a long day. Cheers. // Fazlul
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What's funny about using God's word? Um... just about everything ??? our God doesn't say any bad words or expression Well, my god is John Simmons, and he's famous for his bad words and expressons. I'm also willing to bet my god's more fun that yours on the weekends. ...have respect to Almighty GOD Which god would that be ? Please be more specific when referring to deities - this is an international web site, after all. ----------------------------- "My name is Sven und I am from Sveden. I am making das moovies mit mine friend Inga, fvor ve are very poor." - Christian Graus, Oct 29 2001 -----------------------------
> Well, my god is John Simmons, and he's famous for his bad words and expressons. I'm also willing > to bet my god's more fun that yours on the weekends. Thank you my son. You will be remembered in the widely interpreted Word Of John (volumn 1), which will be deciphered from scrolls transcibed directly from these forums. Your name will dance on the tongue of mankind long after your flesh has been devoured by the wind of time. I've been working on The Word Of John, and there will be several sections, namely: I John - Born At An Early Age Book 1 - Mom And Dad Weren't Planning This Book 2 - Who Was My Father Anyway? Book 3 - Who You Callin' White Sucka! II John - That Wacky Pre-Schooler Book 1 - I Akst You Who You Was Callin' White! Book 2 - How I Drove Mom And Dad Apart Book 3 - Everything You wanted To Know About Girl Cooties III John - Realization Of His Ultimate Power And Glory Book 1 - Girl Cooties Revisited (Yumm) Book 2 - I Rule! Book 3 - I Still Rule! IV John - Outlaw Programmer Book 1 - VB Programmers? BWA HA HA HA! Book 2 - Who Is That Allah Guy? I Can Kick His Scrawny Ass! Book 3 - The Wonders Of Latex Book 4 - Bob, Bruce, And Other Farm Yard Antics Book 5 - I Still Rule! Most of the book so far is comprised of real-life experiences, factual conjectures, rumors, and vaguely described devine events which will permit future generations with plenty of room for wildly varying explanations of what I was really lying about. Advanced copies will be available in the 2nd quarter of 2002 at your local bookstore. "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
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They have get-out clauses to every possible question. Yes, and isn't amazing how god managed to create a system that seems so 'man-made'! ----------------------------- "I leave no turn un-stoned. " - John Simmons, Nov 6 2001 -----------------------------
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They have get-out clauses to every possible question. Yes, and isn't amazing how god managed to create a system that seems so 'man-made'! ----------------------------- "I leave no turn un-stoned. " - John Simmons, Nov 6 2001 -----------------------------
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let us be fair you all are programmers at least . Do every one follow his role in programming of a language ? we should have one correct role to follow. Then same is the religion There is right a religion to follow Amy
Um...perhaps we can resume this conversation after you learn English? ----------------------------- ""I leave no turn un-stoned. " - John Simmons, Nov 6 2001 -----------------------------
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> Well, my god is John Simmons, and he's famous for his bad words and expressons. I'm also willing > to bet my god's more fun that yours on the weekends. Thank you my son. You will be remembered in the widely interpreted Word Of John (volumn 1), which will be deciphered from scrolls transcibed directly from these forums. Your name will dance on the tongue of mankind long after your flesh has been devoured by the wind of time. I've been working on The Word Of John, and there will be several sections, namely: I John - Born At An Early Age Book 1 - Mom And Dad Weren't Planning This Book 2 - Who Was My Father Anyway? Book 3 - Who You Callin' White Sucka! II John - That Wacky Pre-Schooler Book 1 - I Akst You Who You Was Callin' White! Book 2 - How I Drove Mom And Dad Apart Book 3 - Everything You wanted To Know About Girl Cooties III John - Realization Of His Ultimate Power And Glory Book 1 - Girl Cooties Revisited (Yumm) Book 2 - I Rule! Book 3 - I Still Rule! IV John - Outlaw Programmer Book 1 - VB Programmers? BWA HA HA HA! Book 2 - Who Is That Allah Guy? I Can Kick His Scrawny Ass! Book 3 - The Wonders Of Latex Book 4 - Bob, Bruce, And Other Farm Yard Antics Book 5 - I Still Rule! Most of the book so far is comprised of real-life experiences, factual conjectures, rumors, and vaguely described devine events which will permit future generations with plenty of room for wildly varying explanations of what I was really lying about. Advanced copies will be available in the 2nd quarter of 2002 at your local bookstore. "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
Praise be to John... I have already placed an advance order with Amazon.com for "IV John - Book 3, The Wonders Of Latex". Oh, the anticipation .... ----------------------------- ""I leave no turn un-stoned. " - John Simmons, Nov 6 2001 -----------------------------
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Strange - I was just thinking that. David Wulff, Founder of The BLA dwulff@battleaxesoftware.com New's flash - Bob caught in kitchen incident.
David, Take a break - your work here is done, my son. ----------------------------- ""I leave no turn un-stoned. " - John Simmons, Nov 6 2001 -----------------------------
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Tim McVeigh was a Christian, and under their 'rules' is now in heaven. I don't know about this, but even if it's true, this shouldn't motivate someone like Hitler to do something that can only be characterized as crime agaist humanity. Again that brings me back to the fact that anybody can interpret a religion in any way they like. AFAIK, every religion has given some scope, within which you can interpret things differently. I don't think this is a problem, as long as it doesn't contradicts the major principals. I gotta go now. It's been a long day. Cheers. // Fazlul
Get RadVC today! Play RAD in VC++ http://www.capitolsoft.com
[rant] I've sat by as long as I can, but I can't stand it anymore. It was Himmler - not Hitler - who orchastrated the genocide of the Jews/Blacks/Gays/Gipsies/etc, Hitler never knew the full picture until we did, and then it didn't matter to him anyway, as he put a bullet in his brain. And Goering was not guilty of anything short of being a bad leader - Nuremburg was grosly unjust to him. [/rant] I don't think this is a problem, as long as it doesn't contradicts the major principals. Have you read the Bible recently? You wanted major contradictions? I believe William Shakespeare summed it it perfectly: "To do and not to do, that is what the Bible tells us". (I never was any good at English Lit... *cough*) David Wulff, Founder of The BLA dwulff@battleaxesoftware.com New's flash - Bob caught in kitchen incident.
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David, Take a break - your work here is done, my son. ----------------------------- ""I leave no turn un-stoned. " - John Simmons, Nov 6 2001 -----------------------------
I wasn't sure wehther I should reply to this, seeing as it may be conceived as an attempt to boost my post numbers, but as it's not it should be okay. I am going now. I was waiting for a phone call that never came, so I'm off to bed. Night All. David Wulff, Founder of The BLA dwulff@battleaxesoftware.com New's flash - Bob caught in kitchen incident.
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let us be fair you all are programmers at least . Do every one follow his role in programming of a language ? we should have one correct role to follow. Then same is the religion There is right a religion to follow Amy
All half decent programmers know and use more than once language in their daily work. I use five (C, C++, VB [sorry guys], JScript [its a kind of language], HTML [see JScript]). Does that mean I can follow five mainstream religions? If So, I choose Budhism, Judaism, Islam, Sikhism, Hindism and - no wait, that's my five already done. I mean, why choose Christianity when Islam is basically the same and you get to have mutliple wives! Does this mean I'll go to hell? Well guess what - I really don't care. I am concerned with will actually happen to me and those I love - not passing the inituation for a fictional place called heaven so I wont be scared of death. Face up to it, it really ain't that bad. We aren't oppresed by the Egyptians anymore, okay? David Wulff, Founder of The BLA dwulff@battleaxesoftware.com New's flash - Bob caught in kitchen incident.
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"To do otherwise can lead to a flame war that can get nasty (some will even take it out of the lounge and send you personal hateful emails). " Don't worry PJ, I'm not a war freak person... :rolleyes: just a simple girl on the block.. "learn to laugh at yourself" Why would I laugh at myself? I don't look funny... but I can say I'm cute... ;P "and see the humour in things. (Just some advice, do with it as you will )" I can see loud and clear... ;) :rolleyes: "But I also believe He is a loving and caring God, and as long as we follow His word to the best of our abilities, everything will turn out fine. " I second the motion!! :rose: Samantha :rose:
Samantha, As you can see by the number of posts in this thread, there are many people here who say they are non-religious. The problem is that they are not comfortable with it, they seem to be searching for something in their lives, they just don't know what it is. All they know is that it can not be Christ, and they will do all they can to shout that fact from what ever pulpit they can find. I sincerely hope that one day they do find peace in their hearts. ps : I am sure this will start another flame, but hey, that's life:-D --- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
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All half decent programmers know and use more than once language in their daily work. I use five (C, C++, VB [sorry guys], JScript [its a kind of language], HTML [see JScript]). Does that mean I can follow five mainstream religions? If So, I choose Budhism, Judaism, Islam, Sikhism, Hindism and - no wait, that's my five already done. I mean, why choose Christianity when Islam is basically the same and you get to have mutliple wives! Does this mean I'll go to hell? Well guess what - I really don't care. I am concerned with will actually happen to me and those I love - not passing the inituation for a fictional place called heaven so I wont be scared of death. Face up to it, it really ain't that bad. We aren't oppresed by the Egyptians anymore, okay? David Wulff, Founder of The BLA dwulff@battleaxesoftware.com New's flash - Bob caught in kitchen incident.
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Um...perhaps we can resume this conversation after you learn English? ----------------------------- ""I leave no turn un-stoned. " - John Simmons, Nov 6 2001 -----------------------------
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Good, then when you learn English that will make 6 ;P ;P ----------------------------- "I leave no turn un-stoned. " - John Simmons, Nov 6 2001 -----------------------------
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All half decent programmers know and use more than once language in their daily work. I use five (C, C++, VB [sorry guys], JScript [its a kind of language], HTML [see JScript]). Does that mean I can follow five mainstream religions? If So, I choose Budhism, Judaism, Islam, Sikhism, Hindism and - no wait, that's my five already done. I mean, why choose Christianity when Islam is basically the same and you get to have mutliple wives! Does this mean I'll go to hell? Well guess what - I really don't care. I am concerned with will actually happen to me and those I love - not passing the inituation for a fictional place called heaven so I wont be scared of death. Face up to it, it really ain't that bad. We aren't oppresed by the Egyptians anymore, okay? David Wulff, Founder of The BLA dwulff@battleaxesoftware.com New's flash - Bob caught in kitchen incident.
I mean, why choose Christianity when Islam is basically the same and you get to have mutliple wives! David, you are in danger of being lured to the 'dark side' here - the superficial advantages of the "multiple wifes" concept in no way compensates for the many, many disadvantages. You have been warned ... ----------------------------- "I leave no turn un-stoned. " - John Simmons, Nov 6 2001 -----------------------------
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http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/god\_clarifies\_dont\_kill.html "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
Nice one John :) you've been doing that without any help from Me since you were freaking apes!" There we have it folks. God admitting we evolved from apes :-D "To be honest, there's some contradictory stuff in there, okay?" God said. "So I can see how it could be pretty misleading. I admit it—My bad. I did My best to inspire them, but a lot of imperfect human agents have misinterpreted My message over the millennia. Frankly, much of the material that got in there is dogmatic, doctrinal bullshit. I turn My head for a second and, suddenly, all this stuff about homosexuality gets into Leviticus, and everybody thinks it's God's will to kill gays. It absolutely drives Me up the wall." All you literal nutters take note While this piece was obviously humour it definitley strikes a serious chord and makes you think. I wonder why whatever power there is has not stepped... maybe we have to be on the absolute brink before mercy arrives? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa "The greatest thing you will ever learn is to love, and be loved in return" - Moulin Rouge "In other words, the developer is dealing with an elephant, the accountant is dealing with a bunny rabbit." by Stan Shannon - 16/10/2001
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I mean, why choose Christianity when Islam is basically the same and you get to have mutliple wives! David, you are in danger of being lured to the 'dark side' here - the superficial advantages of the "multiple wifes" concept in no way compensates for the many, many disadvantages. You have been warned ... ----------------------------- "I leave no turn un-stoned. " - John Simmons, Nov 6 2001 -----------------------------
Anyway, it's probably better just to invent your own religion anyway, that seems to have worked well for others. You can tailor it to your needs that way. Want more wives? You got it. Want virgins waiting for you in the afterlife? Alakazam, it's done! Want to always be right because 'god' is on your side? No problem, even if you contradict yourself. Hell, you can even play with poisonous snakes if you want to. The potential of religion is only limited by the power of your imagination. The only problem is that if something goes wrong you might have to die for your cause. (in case it isn't totally obvious, I'm being sarcastic) "das leid schlaft in der maschine" -Einstürzende Neubauten
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let us be fair you all are programmers at least . Do every one follow his role in programming of a language ? we should have one correct role to follow. Then same is the religion There is right a religion to follow Amy
What the hell are you talking about? The original post was meant to provide a link to a satirical post about god. Stop taking life so seriously. Religion my dyin' sphinctre... "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
