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Male Wisdoms

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  • I Offline
    I Offline
    Ian Write
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...' There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly. Virginity can be cured. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing. Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed' many men still sleep with their wives.

    T L 2 Replies Last reply
    0
    • I Ian Write

      When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...' There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly. Virginity can be cured. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing. Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed' many men still sleep with their wives.

      T Offline
      T Offline
      thatraja
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Should be posted in Soapbox[^] :((

      thatraja |Chennai|India|


      Tips/Tricks|Brainbench certifications

      Do what you want quickly because the Doomsday on 2012 :-)

      D M 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • T thatraja

        Should be posted in Soapbox[^] :((

        thatraja |Chennai|India|


        Tips/Tricks|Brainbench certifications

        Do what you want quickly because the Doomsday on 2012 :-)

        D Offline
        D Offline
        Dalek Dave
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Or in a forum that is designed for humourless gags?

        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

        OriginalGriffO L 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • T thatraja

          Should be posted in Soapbox[^] :((

          thatraja |Chennai|India|


          Tips/Tricks|Brainbench certifications

          Do what you want quickly because the Doomsday on 2012 :-)

          M Offline
          M Offline
          Michael Schubert
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          thatraja wrote:

          Should be posted in Soapbox

          Why? Because it's boring?

          Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

          D T 2 Replies Last reply
          0
          • M Michael Schubert

            thatraja wrote:

            Should be posted in Soapbox

            Why? Because it's boring?

            Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

            D Offline
            D Offline
            Dalek Dave
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            And old!

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

            M 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • D Dalek Dave

              And old!

              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

              M Offline
              M Offline
              Michael Schubert
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              and lame

              Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

              D 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • M Michael Schubert

                and lame

                Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

                D Offline
                D Offline
                Dalek Dave
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                So not what could be descibed as a success then!

                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                M 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • M Michael Schubert

                  thatraja wrote:

                  Should be posted in Soapbox

                  Why? Because it's boring?

                  Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

                  T Offline
                  T Offline
                  thatraja
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Michael Schubert wrote:

                  Why?

                  Lounge rating, I can see @ Soapbox

                  Michael Schubert wrote:

                  Because it's boring?

                  No

                  thatraja |Chennai|India|


                  Tips/Tricks|Brainbench certifications

                  Do what you want quickly because the Doomsday on 2012 :-)

                  M 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • D Dalek Dave

                    So not what could be descibed as a success then!

                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                    M Offline
                    M Offline
                    Michael Schubert
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    You really like having the last word, don't you Dave? ;P

                    Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

                    L D 2 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • I Ian Write

                      When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...' There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly. Virginity can be cured. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing. Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed' many men still sleep with their wives.

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      hahaha :)

                      MVC

                      OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • M Michael Schubert

                        You really like having the last word, don't you Dave? ;P

                        Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Lost User
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        and lame

                        MVC

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • T thatraja

                          Michael Schubert wrote:

                          Why?

                          Lounge rating, I can see @ Soapbox

                          Michael Schubert wrote:

                          Because it's boring?

                          No

                          thatraja |Chennai|India|


                          Tips/Tricks|Brainbench certifications

                          Do what you want quickly because the Doomsday on 2012 :-)

                          M Offline
                          M Offline
                          Michael Schubert
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          thatraja wrote:

                          Lounge rating, I can see @ Soapbox

                          :confused::confused:

                          Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • M Michael Schubert

                            You really like having the last word, don't you Dave? ;P

                            Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

                            D Offline
                            D Offline
                            Dalek Dave
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            I find myself unable to answer that! :)

                            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                            F 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • D Dalek Dave

                              Or in a forum that is designed for humourless gags?

                              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                              OriginalGriffO Offline
                              OriginalGriffO Offline
                              OriginalGriff
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Ah - this one?[^] Or This one?[^]

                              Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.

                              "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                              "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                              M 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • L Lost User

                                hahaha :)

                                MVC

                                OriginalGriffO Offline
                                OriginalGriffO Offline
                                OriginalGriff
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                I take it you are either very young, or very easily pleased?

                                Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.

                                "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                                "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                                F 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • D Dalek Dave

                                  Or in a forum that is designed for humourless gags?

                                  ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  Lost User
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  ...fit for only 12 year olds who find penis jokes very ammusing.

                                  Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                                    Ah - this one?[^] Or This one?[^]

                                    Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.

                                    M Offline
                                    M Offline
                                    Michael Schubert
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Check out the latest topic on GIT. The Alphabet thingie.

                                    Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

                                    D 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • M Michael Schubert

                                      Check out the latest topic on GIT. The Alphabet thingie.

                                      Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

                                      D Offline
                                      D Offline
                                      Dalek Dave
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      The Dehli Branch of Jongleurs must be a hoot.

                                      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                                      M 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • D Dalek Dave

                                        The Dehli Branch of Jongleurs must be a hoot.

                                        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                                        M Offline
                                        M Offline
                                        Michael Schubert
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        :-D :-D

                                        Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • D Dalek Dave

                                          I find myself unable to answer that! :)

                                          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                                          F Offline
                                          F Offline
                                          fjdiewornncalwe
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          That's a pretty limp response.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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