The only "standards" for the most part are set by the specific manufacturer, for a specific product line. There literally thousands of product lines in current use, and tens of thousands more historic lines that are no longer made. As you can see here at a popular parts supplier in the US: https://www.digikey.com/en/products/category/connectors-interconnects/20 there are over 5 million separate results searching for "connector". That is FAR from a comprehensive list. There are hard metric, hard English pin size/spacing's and a few that are "both" meaning close to an even mm dimension and an English dimension that is an even fraction of an inch. Sizes range from so tiny you cant see the individual pins to huge (for high power AC distribution for example), depending on application. By convention the headers on mother boards are .1" spacing (both ways if multiple rows). The shroud (with or without key slot) is optional and often omitted as a cost saving measure. these are a significant improvement over edge card connections, but still not exactly "safe". The pins are always square and "tinned (coated or plated with metals similar in appearance and possibly composition to solder)" or gold plated, which effects reliability, cost, and capability (voltage and current specs). The mating female connectors come in a variety of sizes, and internal construction in turn effecting cost and performance. MOST of an EE's job in the modern world is about selecting parts for availability, spec, cost, etc. EVERYTHING is tradeoffs: cost vs performance vs thermal management vs ease of use/manufacture etc. etc. Every manufacturer thinks their products are superior - and maybe they are in some applications. Nothing works well everywhere. Some (like 0.1" pitch headers) are more common than others. Even in specialized applications like RF there are dozens of kinds in common use, all have their pluses and minuses. And a hundred more that are very uncommon and found only in certain applications or in certain countries products.
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