You need this book: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0201485672/102-8688208-6140902?v=glance&n=283155 Desparately. I'm surprised no one has mentioned it yet. It is exactly what you need. Read it. Live it.

I've spent a year on a project using various componentone components. They were nice but Infragistics looks better. I plan on using them for the next project.

"Head First Design Patterns" is also an entertaining introduction to the most commonly used patterns: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0596007124/sr=8-1/qid=1146141929/ref=pd\_bbs\_1/002-1388357-5932059?_encoding=UTF8 Plus they finally put a decent cover image for a computer book.