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Hell on a budget

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  • J Josh Smith

    Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

    :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

    L Offline
    L Offline
    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #5

    Josh Smith wrote:

    Everyone who enters Hell is given...

    WAY too expensive. First you have to buy huge mountains. Mountain real estate is not cheap. Then there is the matter of a "heavy rock" budget. Have you seen landscaping prices lately? Lastly, you have to pay the migrant workers. Sure, they're cheap now but wait until Hell's congress gives them all citizenship and starts raising the minimum wage. Here's my idea: Open source Real Networks software and force people to document it. :omg:

    "I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it." - Thomas Jefferson

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    • J Josh Smith

      Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

      :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

      B Offline
      B Offline
      Bobby T
      wrote on last edited by
      #6

      Hell would have to be my current project at work. So Hell on a budget would be them cutting me down to dial up. :((

      PEACE <3

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • J Jim Crafton

        Josh Smith wrote:

        then beats you until you start walking again

        With what? Remember we're on a tight budget! Also where would you put Hell? Have you considered zoning issues? The whole thing sounds a bit half-baked to me. I urge to consider Hell more thoroughly, and return when you have a proper plan in place, complete with a PowerPoint presentation. Also, don't forget to blog about this, so we can all participate in a Web 2.0 compliant manner.

        ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog

        J Offline
        J Offline
        Josh Smith
        wrote on last edited by
        #7

        Jim Crafton wrote:

        With what?

        Fists and feet. Perhaps teeth. :)

        Jim Crafton wrote:

        Also where would you put Hell?

        Somewhere down in South America, like Chile. They have a lot of mountains down there. I imagine the contingent labor force down there is pretty good.

        Jim Crafton wrote:

        I urge to consider Hell more thoroughly, and return when you have a proper plan in place, complete with a PowerPoint presentation.

        I'm on it. ;P

        :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • J Josh Smith

          Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

          :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

          S Offline
          S Offline
          Shog9 0
          wrote on last edited by
          #8

          Josh Smith wrote:

          What might your design be?

          Narrow cells with no light, no sound, no visitors, no furnishings, not even a discernible texture to the material from which the walls, floor and ceiling are constructed. Residents are tasked with making as little noise as possible - failure is punished with complete sensory deprivation.

          ----

          i hope you are feeling sleepy for people not calling you by the same.

          --BarnaKol on abusive words

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          • L Lost User

            Josh Smith wrote:

            Everyone who enters Hell is given...

            WAY too expensive. First you have to buy huge mountains. Mountain real estate is not cheap. Then there is the matter of a "heavy rock" budget. Have you seen landscaping prices lately? Lastly, you have to pay the migrant workers. Sure, they're cheap now but wait until Hell's congress gives them all citizenship and starts raising the minimum wage. Here's my idea: Open source Real Networks software and force people to document it. :omg:

            "I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it." - Thomas Jefferson

            G Offline
            G Offline
            Graham Bradshaw
            wrote on last edited by
            #9

            Mike Mullikin wrote:

            Here's my idea: Open source Real Networks software and force people to document it.

            Even worse: Install Real Networks software and force people to use it.

            L 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • J Josh Smith

              Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

              :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

              D Offline
              D Offline
              daniilzol
              wrote on last edited by
              #10

              Effective, but not original. Sisyphus

              J 1 Reply Last reply
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              • L Lost User

                Josh Smith wrote:

                Everyone who enters Hell is given...

                WAY too expensive. First you have to buy huge mountains. Mountain real estate is not cheap. Then there is the matter of a "heavy rock" budget. Have you seen landscaping prices lately? Lastly, you have to pay the migrant workers. Sure, they're cheap now but wait until Hell's congress gives them all citizenship and starts raising the minimum wage. Here's my idea: Open source Real Networks software and force people to document it. :omg:

                "I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it." - Thomas Jefferson

                J Offline
                J Offline
                Josh Smith
                wrote on last edited by
                #11

                Mike Mullikin wrote:

                First you have to buy huge mountains. Mountain real estate is not cheap.

                Nah, I imagine we could nuke an isolated mountain range somewhere and then just use that. The trick is getting the nukes, but where there's a will...

                Mike Mullikin wrote:

                Then there is the matter of a "heavy rock" budget.

                Good point. Well, we could have some of the "inmates" on a mining duty, where they dig up big rocks.

                Mike Mullikin wrote:

                Lastly, you have to pay the migrant workers.

                hmmmm...Perhaps we can put some of the people in Hell on "guard duty" instead of hiring the migrants.

                :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • J Josh Smith

                  Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

                  :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  leckey 0
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #12

                  Since I am Jewish, I don't believe in Hell. Now if I were to design heaven I think it would look something like the beach...

                  __________________ Bob is my homeboy.

                  L 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • S Shog9 0

                    Josh Smith wrote:

                    What might your design be?

                    Narrow cells with no light, no sound, no visitors, no furnishings, not even a discernible texture to the material from which the walls, floor and ceiling are constructed. Residents are tasked with making as little noise as possible - failure is punished with complete sensory deprivation.

                    ----

                    i hope you are feeling sleepy for people not calling you by the same.

                    --BarnaKol on abusive words

                    J Offline
                    J Offline
                    Josh Smith
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #13

                    Shog9 wrote:

                    Narrow cells with no light, no sound, no visitors, no furnishings, not even a discernible texture to the material from which the walls, floor and ceiling are constructed.

                    That sounds like being buried alive.

                    :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                    J S 2 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • S Shog9 0

                      Josh Smith wrote:

                      What might your design be?

                      Narrow cells with no light, no sound, no visitors, no furnishings, not even a discernible texture to the material from which the walls, floor and ceiling are constructed. Residents are tasked with making as little noise as possible - failure is punished with complete sensory deprivation.

                      ----

                      i hope you are feeling sleepy for people not calling you by the same.

                      --BarnaKol on abusive words

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      leckey 0
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #14

                      Sounds like my perfect place when I have a migraine.

                      __________________ Bob is my homeboy.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • D daniilzol

                        Effective, but not original. Sisyphus

                        J Offline
                        J Offline
                        Josh Smith
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #15

                        JazzJackRabbit wrote:

                        Effective, but not original.

                        Yeah, but my version of Hell includes beatdowns from cheap migrant laborers! :laugh:

                        :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • G Graham Bradshaw

                          Mike Mullikin wrote:

                          Here's my idea: Open source Real Networks software and force people to document it.

                          Even worse: Install Real Networks software and force people to use it.

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #16

                          Graham Bradshaw wrote:

                          Install Real Networks software and force people to use it.

                          :wtf: My gawd, show some mercy!!! :wtf:

                          "I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it." - Thomas Jefferson

                          P 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • J Josh Smith

                            Shog9 wrote:

                            Narrow cells with no light, no sound, no visitors, no furnishings, not even a discernible texture to the material from which the walls, floor and ceiling are constructed.

                            That sounds like being buried alive.

                            :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                            J Offline
                            J Offline
                            Jim Crafton
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #17

                            Or working in a cube/office :)

                            ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog

                            J 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • J Josh Smith

                              Shog9 wrote:

                              Narrow cells with no light, no sound, no visitors, no furnishings, not even a discernible texture to the material from which the walls, floor and ceiling are constructed.

                              That sounds like being buried alive.

                              :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                              S Offline
                              S Offline
                              Shog9 0
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #18

                              Yeah, the design could certainly be implemented that way.

                              ----

                              i hope you are feeling sleepy for people not calling you by the same.

                              --BarnaKol on abusive words

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • J Jim Crafton

                                Or working in a cube/office :)

                                ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog

                                J Offline
                                J Offline
                                Josh Smith
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #19

                                Jim Crafton wrote:

                                Or working in a cube/office

                                Or being in the womb...

                                :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                                P 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • S Shog9 0

                                  Josh Smith wrote:

                                  What might your design be?

                                  Narrow cells with no light, no sound, no visitors, no furnishings, not even a discernible texture to the material from which the walls, floor and ceiling are constructed. Residents are tasked with making as little noise as possible - failure is punished with complete sensory deprivation.

                                  ----

                                  i hope you are feeling sleepy for people not calling you by the same.

                                  --BarnaKol on abusive words

                                  M Offline
                                  M Offline
                                  Marc Clifton
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #20

                                  Shog9 wrote:

                                  failure is punished with complete sensory deprivation.

                                  Heh. I was going to suggest sensory deprivation. Now I'll have to think of something else. Marc

                                  Thyme In The Country
                                  Interacx

                                  People are just notoriously impossible. --DavidCrow
                                  There's NO excuse for not commenting your code. -- John Simmons / outlaw programmer
                                  People who say that they will refactor their code later to make it "good" don't understand refactoring, nor the art and craft of programming. -- Josh Smith

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • J Josh Smith

                                    Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

                                    :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                                    B Offline
                                    B Offline
                                    Bobby T
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #21

                                    multiple long lines going into the ocean. the person at the front of the line gets hundreds of cuts all over his body from the person behind him, then is thrown into the salt water. they then have to swim through the pain to the shore crawl through the sand while it fill there wounds then get back into line. if anyone resists they have to watch listin to kelly clarkson while watching my super sweet 16.

                                    PEACE <3

                                    J P 2 Replies Last reply
                                    0
                                    • J Josh Smith

                                      Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

                                      :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                                      M Offline
                                      M Offline
                                      Marc Clifton
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #22

                                      Josh Smith wrote:

                                      What might your design be?

                                      Well, since you're on a budget... How about trying to pay off a $50,000 credit card bill with 24% annual interest on a minimum paying job with no health benefits. Marc

                                      Thyme In The Country
                                      Interacx

                                      People are just notoriously impossible. --DavidCrow
                                      There's NO excuse for not commenting your code. -- John Simmons / outlaw programmer
                                      People who say that they will refactor their code later to make it "good" don't understand refactoring, nor the art and craft of programming. -- Josh Smith

                                      J 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • B Bobby T

                                        multiple long lines going into the ocean. the person at the front of the line gets hundreds of cuts all over his body from the person behind him, then is thrown into the salt water. they then have to swim through the pain to the shore crawl through the sand while it fill there wounds then get back into line. if anyone resists they have to watch listin to kelly clarkson while watching my super sweet 16.

                                        PEACE <3

                                        J Offline
                                        J Offline
                                        Josh Smith
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #23

                                        Bobby T wrote:

                                        if anyone resists they have to watch listin to kelly clarkson while watching my super sweet 16.

                                        Speak of the Devil...

                                        :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • J Josh Smith

                                          Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

                                          :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                                          J Offline
                                          J Offline
                                          Jon Sagara
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #24

                                          Josh Smith wrote:

                                          Hell on a budget

                                          Josh Smith wrote:

                                          What might your design be?

                                          Texas.

                                          Jon Sagara This is the stuff we'll drink on special occasions. To paraphrase my father-in-law, this is the kind of wine that results in kids. -- A friend Blog | Site | Articles

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