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Hell on a budget

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  • J Josh Smith

    Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

    :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

    S Offline
    S Offline
    Shog9 0
    wrote on last edited by
    #8

    Josh Smith wrote:

    What might your design be?

    Narrow cells with no light, no sound, no visitors, no furnishings, not even a discernible texture to the material from which the walls, floor and ceiling are constructed. Residents are tasked with making as little noise as possible - failure is punished with complete sensory deprivation.

    ----

    i hope you are feeling sleepy for people not calling you by the same.

    --BarnaKol on abusive words

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    • L Lost User

      Josh Smith wrote:

      Everyone who enters Hell is given...

      WAY too expensive. First you have to buy huge mountains. Mountain real estate is not cheap. Then there is the matter of a "heavy rock" budget. Have you seen landscaping prices lately? Lastly, you have to pay the migrant workers. Sure, they're cheap now but wait until Hell's congress gives them all citizenship and starts raising the minimum wage. Here's my idea: Open source Real Networks software and force people to document it. :omg:

      "I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it." - Thomas Jefferson

      G Offline
      G Offline
      Graham Bradshaw
      wrote on last edited by
      #9

      Mike Mullikin wrote:

      Here's my idea: Open source Real Networks software and force people to document it.

      Even worse: Install Real Networks software and force people to use it.

      L 1 Reply Last reply
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      • J Josh Smith

        Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

        :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

        D Offline
        D Offline
        daniilzol
        wrote on last edited by
        #10

        Effective, but not original. Sisyphus

        J 1 Reply Last reply
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        • L Lost User

          Josh Smith wrote:

          Everyone who enters Hell is given...

          WAY too expensive. First you have to buy huge mountains. Mountain real estate is not cheap. Then there is the matter of a "heavy rock" budget. Have you seen landscaping prices lately? Lastly, you have to pay the migrant workers. Sure, they're cheap now but wait until Hell's congress gives them all citizenship and starts raising the minimum wage. Here's my idea: Open source Real Networks software and force people to document it. :omg:

          "I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it." - Thomas Jefferson

          J Offline
          J Offline
          Josh Smith
          wrote on last edited by
          #11

          Mike Mullikin wrote:

          First you have to buy huge mountains. Mountain real estate is not cheap.

          Nah, I imagine we could nuke an isolated mountain range somewhere and then just use that. The trick is getting the nukes, but where there's a will...

          Mike Mullikin wrote:

          Then there is the matter of a "heavy rock" budget.

          Good point. Well, we could have some of the "inmates" on a mining duty, where they dig up big rocks.

          Mike Mullikin wrote:

          Lastly, you have to pay the migrant workers.

          hmmmm...Perhaps we can put some of the people in Hell on "guard duty" instead of hiring the migrants.

          :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • J Josh Smith

            Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

            :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

            L Offline
            L Offline
            leckey 0
            wrote on last edited by
            #12

            Since I am Jewish, I don't believe in Hell. Now if I were to design heaven I think it would look something like the beach...

            __________________ Bob is my homeboy.

            L 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • S Shog9 0

              Josh Smith wrote:

              What might your design be?

              Narrow cells with no light, no sound, no visitors, no furnishings, not even a discernible texture to the material from which the walls, floor and ceiling are constructed. Residents are tasked with making as little noise as possible - failure is punished with complete sensory deprivation.

              ----

              i hope you are feeling sleepy for people not calling you by the same.

              --BarnaKol on abusive words

              J Offline
              J Offline
              Josh Smith
              wrote on last edited by
              #13

              Shog9 wrote:

              Narrow cells with no light, no sound, no visitors, no furnishings, not even a discernible texture to the material from which the walls, floor and ceiling are constructed.

              That sounds like being buried alive.

              :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

              J S 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • S Shog9 0

                Josh Smith wrote:

                What might your design be?

                Narrow cells with no light, no sound, no visitors, no furnishings, not even a discernible texture to the material from which the walls, floor and ceiling are constructed. Residents are tasked with making as little noise as possible - failure is punished with complete sensory deprivation.

                ----

                i hope you are feeling sleepy for people not calling you by the same.

                --BarnaKol on abusive words

                L Offline
                L Offline
                leckey 0
                wrote on last edited by
                #14

                Sounds like my perfect place when I have a migraine.

                __________________ Bob is my homeboy.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • D daniilzol

                  Effective, but not original. Sisyphus

                  J Offline
                  J Offline
                  Josh Smith
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #15

                  JazzJackRabbit wrote:

                  Effective, but not original.

                  Yeah, but my version of Hell includes beatdowns from cheap migrant laborers! :laugh:

                  :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • G Graham Bradshaw

                    Mike Mullikin wrote:

                    Here's my idea: Open source Real Networks software and force people to document it.

                    Even worse: Install Real Networks software and force people to use it.

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #16

                    Graham Bradshaw wrote:

                    Install Real Networks software and force people to use it.

                    :wtf: My gawd, show some mercy!!! :wtf:

                    "I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it." - Thomas Jefferson

                    P 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • J Josh Smith

                      Shog9 wrote:

                      Narrow cells with no light, no sound, no visitors, no furnishings, not even a discernible texture to the material from which the walls, floor and ceiling are constructed.

                      That sounds like being buried alive.

                      :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                      J Offline
                      J Offline
                      Jim Crafton
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #17

                      Or working in a cube/office :)

                      ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog

                      J 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • J Josh Smith

                        Shog9 wrote:

                        Narrow cells with no light, no sound, no visitors, no furnishings, not even a discernible texture to the material from which the walls, floor and ceiling are constructed.

                        That sounds like being buried alive.

                        :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                        S Offline
                        S Offline
                        Shog9 0
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #18

                        Yeah, the design could certainly be implemented that way.

                        ----

                        i hope you are feeling sleepy for people not calling you by the same.

                        --BarnaKol on abusive words

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • J Jim Crafton

                          Or working in a cube/office :)

                          ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog

                          J Offline
                          J Offline
                          Josh Smith
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #19

                          Jim Crafton wrote:

                          Or working in a cube/office

                          Or being in the womb...

                          :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                          P 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • S Shog9 0

                            Josh Smith wrote:

                            What might your design be?

                            Narrow cells with no light, no sound, no visitors, no furnishings, not even a discernible texture to the material from which the walls, floor and ceiling are constructed. Residents are tasked with making as little noise as possible - failure is punished with complete sensory deprivation.

                            ----

                            i hope you are feeling sleepy for people not calling you by the same.

                            --BarnaKol on abusive words

                            M Offline
                            M Offline
                            Marc Clifton
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #20

                            Shog9 wrote:

                            failure is punished with complete sensory deprivation.

                            Heh. I was going to suggest sensory deprivation. Now I'll have to think of something else. Marc

                            Thyme In The Country
                            Interacx

                            People are just notoriously impossible. --DavidCrow
                            There's NO excuse for not commenting your code. -- John Simmons / outlaw programmer
                            People who say that they will refactor their code later to make it "good" don't understand refactoring, nor the art and craft of programming. -- Josh Smith

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • J Josh Smith

                              Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

                              :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                              B Offline
                              B Offline
                              Bobby T
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #21

                              multiple long lines going into the ocean. the person at the front of the line gets hundreds of cuts all over his body from the person behind him, then is thrown into the salt water. they then have to swim through the pain to the shore crawl through the sand while it fill there wounds then get back into line. if anyone resists they have to watch listin to kelly clarkson while watching my super sweet 16.

                              PEACE <3

                              J P 2 Replies Last reply
                              0
                              • J Josh Smith

                                Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

                                :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                                M Offline
                                M Offline
                                Marc Clifton
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #22

                                Josh Smith wrote:

                                What might your design be?

                                Well, since you're on a budget... How about trying to pay off a $50,000 credit card bill with 24% annual interest on a minimum paying job with no health benefits. Marc

                                Thyme In The Country
                                Interacx

                                People are just notoriously impossible. --DavidCrow
                                There's NO excuse for not commenting your code. -- John Simmons / outlaw programmer
                                People who say that they will refactor their code later to make it "good" don't understand refactoring, nor the art and craft of programming. -- Josh Smith

                                J 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • B Bobby T

                                  multiple long lines going into the ocean. the person at the front of the line gets hundreds of cuts all over his body from the person behind him, then is thrown into the salt water. they then have to swim through the pain to the shore crawl through the sand while it fill there wounds then get back into line. if anyone resists they have to watch listin to kelly clarkson while watching my super sweet 16.

                                  PEACE <3

                                  J Offline
                                  J Offline
                                  Josh Smith
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #23

                                  Bobby T wrote:

                                  if anyone resists they have to watch listin to kelly clarkson while watching my super sweet 16.

                                  Speak of the Devil...

                                  :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • J Josh Smith

                                    Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

                                    :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                                    J Offline
                                    J Offline
                                    Jon Sagara
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #24

                                    Josh Smith wrote:

                                    Hell on a budget

                                    Josh Smith wrote:

                                    What might your design be?

                                    Texas.

                                    Jon Sagara This is the stuff we'll drink on special occasions. To paraphrase my father-in-law, this is the kind of wine that results in kids. -- A friend Blog | Site | Articles

                                    J L P 3 Replies Last reply
                                    0
                                    • M Marc Clifton

                                      Josh Smith wrote:

                                      What might your design be?

                                      Well, since you're on a budget... How about trying to pay off a $50,000 credit card bill with 24% annual interest on a minimum paying job with no health benefits. Marc

                                      Thyme In The Country
                                      Interacx

                                      People are just notoriously impossible. --DavidCrow
                                      There's NO excuse for not commenting your code. -- John Simmons / outlaw programmer
                                      People who say that they will refactor their code later to make it "good" don't understand refactoring, nor the art and craft of programming. -- Josh Smith

                                      J Offline
                                      J Offline
                                      Josh Smith
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #25

                                      Marc Clifton wrote:

                                      How about trying to pay off a $50,000 credit card bill with 24% annual interest on a minimum paying job with no health benefits.

                                      Eek! Throw in some VB6 and you've got yourself Satan's masterplan!! :omg:

                                      :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • J Jon Sagara

                                        Josh Smith wrote:

                                        Hell on a budget

                                        Josh Smith wrote:

                                        What might your design be?

                                        Texas.

                                        Jon Sagara This is the stuff we'll drink on special occasions. To paraphrase my father-in-law, this is the kind of wine that results in kids. -- A friend Blog | Site | Articles

                                        J Offline
                                        J Offline
                                        Josh Smith
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #26

                                        Jon Sagara wrote:

                                        Texas.

                                        :laugh:

                                        :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • J Josh Smith

                                          Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

                                          :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                                          A Offline
                                          A Offline
                                          Andy Brummer
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #27

                                          Give everyone hacked versions of VB4 and let them into heaven as soon as they write a bug free C++ compiler. [edit] Or give them '95 era Java and hardware, then have them write half-life 2. [/edit]


                                          I would teach the world that science is not about truth, but is about trying to get closer to the truth. - Kathy Sykes

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