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Is it just me...

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • J Josh Smith

    ...or does something seem 'off' when everyone in your group at work is invited to attend a three day developer conference except for you? That's the situation I found myself in today. :|

    :josh: My WPF Blog[^] The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. - Michelangelo (1475-1564)

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    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #37

    "Hello Manager, do you have a few moments? I'd like to ask if there is a specific reason that I've not been invited to attend event xyz?" That'll probably get you further than asking the same question here. And the answer will probably tell you if you want to look for another position.

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    • L Lost User

      "Hello Manager, do you have a few moments? I'd like to ask if there is a specific reason that I've not been invited to attend event xyz?" That'll probably get you further than asking the same question here. And the answer will probably tell you if you want to look for another position.

      _ Offline
      _ Offline
      _Damian S_
      wrote on last edited by
      #38

      He went down that path, and the manager laughed in his face and wandered off...

      ------------------------------------------- Damian - Insert snappy one-liner here.

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      • J Josh Smith

        Luis Alonso Ramos wrote:

        Maybe they are just trying to make sure you'll stay enough time at the company before spending too much on you.

        I edited that post shortly after writing it. I started the job about 6 months ago. That's long enough to warrant sending me to a conference, in my opinion.

        :josh: My WPF Blog[^] The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. - Michelangelo (1475-1564)

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        Matt Newman
        wrote on last edited by
        #39

        Josh Smith wrote:

        I edited that post shortly after writing it. I started the job about 6 months ago. That's long enough to warrant sending me to a conference, in my opinion.

        6 months isn't that long. Don't get too worked up over this, you certainly don't want to get the reputation of not being a team player. You don't know why certain decisions where made, maybe they had to miss the last conference, maybe they have a policy requiring an employee be with the company longer. Maybe they could only afford to send a couple and they had senority. I think anyone recommend you look for a new job with a single instance is giving you terrible advice. My advice is to play it cool and don't let it get to you.

        -Matt Newman

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        • C code_discuss

          Your post reminds me that about one year ago I was treated in the same way. Many just-on-board engineers were sent to attend trainings except me. At that time, I even talked with the manager but I was still refused. The reason was very silly: The training was not important and I can learn the same thing from my project manager :doh:

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          W Offline
          Weiye Chen
          wrote on last edited by
          #40

          code_discuss wrote:

          The reason was very silly: The training was not important and I can learn the same thing from my project manager

          This proves that managers usually don't speak the truth or they are really silly. :~

          Weiye Chen A self proclaimed hermit living in a cave, with his PC connected to the world.

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          • J Josh Smith

            Maximilien wrote:

            Don't let the situation stand, go see your "boss" and ask him about it.

            I did. He blew it off as he "laughed" about it and walked away.

            :josh: My WPF Blog[^] The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. - Michelangelo (1475-1564)

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            C Offline
            Chris Austin
            wrote on last edited by
            #41

            Josh Smith wrote:

            He blew it off as he "laughed" about it and walked away.

            Wow, just the disrespect there would motivate me to find a new job. From the articles you've written and your blog it is easy to see that you are a talented developer, you shouldn't have much difficulty finding a good job in this market. A good friend of mine just took a job as a VP at large Fin. Firm in NYC. I am not sure if his group will be doing .net development (He's the guy who wrote the Mongrel web server) or any hiring but I'd gladly drop him a line for you.

            My Blog A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. - -Lazarus Long

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            • J Josh Smith

              ...or does something seem 'off' when everyone in your group at work is invited to attend a three day developer conference except for you? That's the situation I found myself in today. :|

              :josh: My WPF Blog[^] The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. - Michelangelo (1475-1564)

              L Offline
              L Offline
              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #42

              Don't worry about it. If they actually plan on throwing you out (which I doubt thats true, but I don't know) then it will be their loss and they will suffer the consequences from their stupid decision.

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              • P PIEBALDconsult

                Maybe there'll be a lot of drinkin' and whorin' and they thought you wouldn't be interested.

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                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #43

                PIEBALDconsult wrote:

                Maybe there'll be a lot of drinkin' and whorin' and they thought you wouldn't be interested.

                Why wouldn't he? If he didn't want to participate he could still watch his own coworkers act crazy and learn new and interesting things about them.

                █▒▒▒▒▒██▒█▒██ █▒█████▒▒▒▒▒█ █▒██████▒█▒██ █▒█████▒▒▒▒▒█ █▒▒▒▒▒██▒█▒██

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                • J Josh Smith

                  ...or does something seem 'off' when everyone in your group at work is invited to attend a three day developer conference except for you? That's the situation I found myself in today. :|

                  :josh: My WPF Blog[^] The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. - Michelangelo (1475-1564)

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  leckey 0
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #44

                  We don't have conferences for where I work, but I definately feel invisible. There are four people in our group, two of which were on vacation yesterday. The new guy is Larry. One of the Chatty Cathy's came up and commented how Larry was all by himself for the day with no one to pick on. Then today she talked about how the three guys in my group were the only guys she invited to her open house.

                  ______________________ stuff + cats = awesome

                  Steve EcholsS _ 2 Replies Last reply
                  0
                  • J Josh Smith

                    ...or does something seem 'off' when everyone in your group at work is invited to attend a three day developer conference except for you? That's the situation I found myself in today. :|

                    :josh: My WPF Blog[^] The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. - Michelangelo (1475-1564)

                    P Offline
                    P Offline
                    Psycho Coder Extreme
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #45

                    Josh, It could be something as simple as this conference was planned and paid for before you came there. When I first started my job (within the first 5 or 5 months) the other members of the team were gone for 3 days to a conference and I wasn't there, come to find out the arrangements were made long before I got there and there wasn't really much time/reason to pay extra for a single new developer (the earlier you book & pay the cheaper it is)

                    "Okay, I give up: which is NOT a real programming language????" Michael Bergman

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                    • L leckey 0

                      We don't have conferences for where I work, but I definately feel invisible. There are four people in our group, two of which were on vacation yesterday. The new guy is Larry. One of the Chatty Cathy's came up and commented how Larry was all by himself for the day with no one to pick on. Then today she talked about how the three guys in my group were the only guys she invited to her open house.

                      ______________________ stuff + cats = awesome

                      Steve EcholsS Offline
                      Steve EcholsS Offline
                      Steve Echols
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #46

                      Chatty Cathy didn't invite you to the "open house"? That seems pretty rude. (I assume "open house" means party). P.S. Love your office commentary! Sounds a bit like my office.


                      - S 50 cups of coffee and you know it's on!

                      • S
                        50 cups of coffee and you know it's on!
                        Code, follow, or get out of the way.
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                      • L leckey 0

                        We don't have conferences for where I work, but I definately feel invisible. There are four people in our group, two of which were on vacation yesterday. The new guy is Larry. One of the Chatty Cathy's came up and commented how Larry was all by himself for the day with no one to pick on. Then today she talked about how the three guys in my group were the only guys she invited to her open house.

                        ______________________ stuff + cats = awesome

                        _ Offline
                        _ Offline
                        _Damian S_
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #47

                        Maybe "Chatty Cathy" prefers the company of blokes, not girls... But yeah, sux when that happens...

                        ------------------------------------------- Damian - Insert snappy one-liner here.

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                        • J Josh Smith

                          ...or does something seem 'off' when everyone in your group at work is invited to attend a three day developer conference except for you? That's the situation I found myself in today. :|

                          :josh: My WPF Blog[^] The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. - Michelangelo (1475-1564)

                          M Offline
                          M Offline
                          Member 96
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #48

                          No it's not just you, being excluded from a social event in a small group like that without explanation is either sheer stupidity and ham handedness on the part of the manager or they are being a dick on purpose. Only one way to find out though and you know what it is.


                          "I don't want more choice. I just want better things!" - Edina Monsoon

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                          • J Josh Smith

                            ...or does something seem 'off' when everyone in your group at work is invited to attend a three day developer conference except for you? That's the situation I found myself in today. :|

                            :josh: My WPF Blog[^] The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. - Michelangelo (1475-1564)

                            J Offline
                            J Offline
                            jonathan15
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #49

                            It could be they feel you are just too damn useful to be going away for three days. Jon

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                            • J Josh Smith

                              Maximilien wrote:

                              Don't let the situation stand, go see your "boss" and ask him about it.

                              I did. He blew it off as he "laughed" about it and walked away.

                              :josh: My WPF Blog[^] The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. - Michelangelo (1475-1564)

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #50

                              Leave as soon as you can.

                              Visit http://www.readytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

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                              • J Josh Smith

                                Mark Salsbery wrote:

                                If it's a "How to be a better developer" conference then it's a good sign!

                                True. :) However, that is not the case. It actually seems like a very interesting conference and I want to attend it.

                                :josh: My WPF Blog[^] The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. - Michelangelo (1475-1564)

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                                D Offline
                                David Crow
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #51

                                Josh Smith wrote:

                                ...and I want to attend it.

                                So have you bothered to ask? Who were your co-workers invited by, or did they ask, too? Have you worked at the company long enough?


                                "A good athlete is the result of a good and worthy opponent." - David Crow

                                "To have a respect for ourselves guides our morals; to have deference for others governs our manners." - Laurence Sterne

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                                • J Josh Smith

                                  ...or does something seem 'off' when everyone in your group at work is invited to attend a three day developer conference except for you? That's the situation I found myself in today. :|

                                  :josh: My WPF Blog[^] The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. - Michelangelo (1475-1564)

                                  J Offline
                                  J Offline
                                  Jimmy M
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #52

                                  Hard to say if it's "off" or not without knowing all the facts. Was it a case of them only having x amount of spots and more senior people were sent? Or were you actively excluded? You seem to make it sound like you were purposely excluded. What are the reasons that occurred? You say your manager laughed at your request. Is that typical behavior? Are you frequently laughed at by your superiors? If that's the case it sounds like not going to a conference that has no bearing on your job is the least of your work issues.

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