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  4. Top 10 sings you are a Fundamentalist Christian

Top 10 sings you are a Fundamentalist Christian

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  • O Oakman

    Mike Gaskey wrote:

    yep.

    That's great!

    Mike Gaskey wrote:

    now that is sad.

    Once upon a time (when I was young and green behind the ears) I was a lay preacher in the Methodist Church, so you can't say it's for lack of looking. But I have yet to see evidence that God, omnipotent, omniscient, and everlasting would really care about whether I ate fish on Friday, or made love to a woman outside of marriage, or didn't give ten percent of my gross income to the local priests, or - most importantly - that any other man on earth has been empowered to tell me what God wants me to do. Indeed, I have this sneaking suspicion that whether it's a backwoods fundie like Illion or the Pope in his golden throne, when they start telling me that God shared the secret of what to do and what not to do with them, it's all about them, not about God.

    Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

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    Paul Conrad
    wrote on last edited by
    #48

    Oakman wrote:

    I have yet to see evidence that God, omnipotent, omniscient, and everlasting would really care about whether I ate fish on Friday, or made love to a woman outside of marriage, or didn't give ten percent of my gross income to the local priests, or - most importantly - that any other man on earth has been empowered to tell me what God wants me to do. Indeed, I have this sneaking suspicion that whether it's a backwoods fundie like Illion or the Pope in his golden throne, when they start telling me that God shared the secret of what to do and what not to do with them, it's all about them, not about God.

    I agree.

    "The clue train passed his station without stopping." - John Simmons / outlaw programmer "Real programmers just throw a bunch of 1s and 0s at the computer to see what sticks" - Pete O'Hanlon

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    • O Oakman

      jgasm wrote:

      it is a very "us" versus "them" mentality.

      What's really evil fun is to pretend that you think the DaVinci Code is factual. You become such a 'them,' you can't get back to 'us' for months.

      Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

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      Paul Conrad
      wrote on last edited by
      #49

      Oakman wrote:

      think the DaVinci Code is factual

      How about the Bible Code? I am not sure about it since many of the things mentioned are after the fact and I have yet to see any of the "future" stuff happen :suss:

      "The clue train passed his station without stopping." - John Simmons / outlaw programmer "Real programmers just throw a bunch of 1s and 0s at the computer to see what sticks" - Pete O'Hanlon

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      • O Oakman

        Mike Mullikin wrote:

        Wouldn't that be insulting to the "bitch" and thus insult your delicate humor sensibilities

        Not if it were worn by a woman. ;) I must admit I am much more likely to peruse t-shirts worn by women. :-O

        Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

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        eggsovereasy
        wrote on last edited by
        #50

        I fail to see how calling someone "the bitch" is not insulting? I do however, think the shirt is funny.

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        • O Oakman

          Mike Gaskey wrote:

          yep.

          That's great!

          Mike Gaskey wrote:

          now that is sad.

          Once upon a time (when I was young and green behind the ears) I was a lay preacher in the Methodist Church, so you can't say it's for lack of looking. But I have yet to see evidence that God, omnipotent, omniscient, and everlasting would really care about whether I ate fish on Friday, or made love to a woman outside of marriage, or didn't give ten percent of my gross income to the local priests, or - most importantly - that any other man on earth has been empowered to tell me what God wants me to do. Indeed, I have this sneaking suspicion that whether it's a backwoods fundie like Illion or the Pope in his golden throne, when they start telling me that God shared the secret of what to do and what not to do with them, it's all about them, not about God.

          Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

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          eggsovereasy
          wrote on last edited by
          #51

          Oakman wrote:

          when I was young and green behind the ears

          I think you mean when you were either green or wet behind the ears ;)

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          • E eggsovereasy

            I fail to see how calling someone "the bitch" is not insulting? I do however, think the shirt is funny.

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            Oakman
            wrote on last edited by
            #52

            eggsovereasy wrote:

            I fail to see how calling someone "the bitch" is not insulting?

            Suppose the bitch's name is Rover or Spot?

            Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

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            • P Paul Conrad

              Oakman wrote:

              think the DaVinci Code is factual

              How about the Bible Code? I am not sure about it since many of the things mentioned are after the fact and I have yet to see any of the "future" stuff happen :suss:

              "The clue train passed his station without stopping." - John Simmons / outlaw programmer "Real programmers just throw a bunch of 1s and 0s at the computer to see what sticks" - Pete O'Hanlon

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              Oakman
              wrote on last edited by
              #53

              Paul Conrad wrote:

              How about the Bible Code

              Bible Code does not suggest that Rabbi Yeshua was doing the nasty with Miriam Magdalen.

              Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

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              • E eggsovereasy

                Oakman wrote:

                when I was young and green behind the ears

                I think you mean when you were either green or wet behind the ears ;)

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                Oakman
                wrote on last edited by
                #54

                eggsovereasy wrote:

                I think you mean when you were either green or wet behind the ears

                Nope, I meant green behind the ears. Yours truly, J'on J'onz

                Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

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                • O Oakman

                  eggsovereasy wrote:

                  I fail to see how calling someone "the bitch" is not insulting?

                  Suppose the bitch's name is Rover or Spot?

                  Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

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                  eggsovereasy
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #55

                  Fair enough.

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                  • M Mike Gaskey

                    Vincent Reynolds wrote:

                    Big world, innit?

                    and obviously accommodates all types.

                    Mike - typical white guy. The USA does have universal healthcare, but you have to pay for it. D'oh. Thomas Mann - "Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." The NYT - my leftist brochure. Calling an illegal alien an “undocumented immigrant” is like calling a drug dealer an “unlicensed pharmacist”. God doesn't believe in atheists, therefore they don't exist.

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                    Vincent Reynolds
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #56

                    Mike Gaskey wrote:

                    and obviously accommodates all types.

                    Are you accusing the world of being tolerant? :)

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                    • T ToddHileHoffer

                      10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours. 9 - You feel insulted and 'dehumanized' when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt. 8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God. 7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the 'atrocities' attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in 'Exodus' and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in 'Joshua' including women, children, and trees! 6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky. 5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old. 4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most 'tolerant' and 'loving.' 3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in 'tongues' may be all the evidence you need to 'prove' Christianity. 2 - You define 0.01% as a 'high success rate' when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God. 1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

                      I didn't get any requirements for the signature

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                      John Carson
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #57

                      Excellent.

                      John Carson

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                      • O Oakman

                        Boy, you sure did beat the shit out of that strawman pretty good! Some Christians have some of those characteristics, but some have none.

                        Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

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                        John Carson
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #58

                        Oakman wrote:

                        Boy, you sure did beat the sh*t out of that strawman pretty good! Some Christians have some of those characteristics, but some have none.

                        The title of the post does refer to Fundamentalist Christians, not Christians in general.

                        John Carson

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                        • J John Carson

                          Oakman wrote:

                          Boy, you sure did beat the sh*t out of that strawman pretty good! Some Christians have some of those characteristics, but some have none.

                          The title of the post does refer to Fundamentalist Christians, not Christians in general.

                          John Carson

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                          Oakman
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #59

                          Okay. Some Fundamentalist Christians have some of those characteristics but some have none. i's dotted, t's crossed?

                          Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

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                          • O Oakman

                            Okay. Some Fundamentalist Christians have some of those characteristics but some have none. i's dotted, t's crossed?

                            Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

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                            John Carson
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #60

                            Oakman wrote:

                            Okay. Some Fundamentalist Christians have some of those characteristics but some have none. i's dotted, t's crossed?

                            You must have a very liberal definition of Fundamentalist. Aside from some excess in the language (e.g., Fundamentalists' faces may not literally turn purple on hearing about atrocities), I can't imagine anyone I would call a Fundamentalist Christian who would not in substance endorse the majority of the sentiments on the list. Let's reword them a little.

                            10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel that someone who denies the existence of yours is not sincerely seeking the truth. 9 - You feel humanity's special place in God's creation is denied when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt. 8 - You disagree with polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God. 7 - You morally condemn 'atrocities' committed in the name of Allah, but you accept as just because God is Just that God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in 'Exodus' and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in 'Joshua' including women, children, and trees! 6 - You reject Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky. 5 - You give credence to those looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and claiming that Earth is a few generations old. 4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider that God is Love. 3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some person rolling around on the floor speaking in 'tongues' may be all the evidence you need to 'prove' Christianity. 2 - You seize on good outcomes following prayer. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the FAILURE to alter the ordinary course of events in almost all cases (e.

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                            • O Oakman

                              Boy, you sure did beat the shit out of that strawman pretty good! Some Christians have some of those characteristics, but some have none.

                              Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

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                              Tim Craig
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #61

                              Oakman wrote:

                              Some Christians have some of those characteristics, but some have none.

                              And some have all of them.

                              If you don't have the data, you're just another asshole with an opinion.

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                              • T ToddHileHoffer

                                It is not hilarious but it is funny. Fundamentalists of all religions are fools and they are funny and sometimes scary. It is no different if you are a crazy Muslim killing people so you can be with 40 virgins or if you are a crazy Christian convinced everyone else is going to spend eternity in hell for not being exactly like you. I didn't write the list, I just got it in an email.

                                I didn't get any requirements for the signature

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                                Tim Craig
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #62

                                ToddHileHoffer wrote:

                                Fundamentalists of all religions are fools and they are funny and sometimes always scary.

                                If you don't have the data, you're just another asshole with an opinion.

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                                • E eggsovereasy

                                  I fail to see how calling someone "the bitch" is not insulting? I do however, think the shirt is funny.

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                                  Tim Craig
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #63

                                  eggsovereasy wrote:

                                  I fail to see how calling someone "the bitch" is not insulting? I do however, think the shirt is funny.

                                  To quote another shirt: I am not a bitch. I am The Bitch. And that's Ms. Bitch, to you.

                                  If you don't have the data, you're just another asshole with an opinion.

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                                  • M Mike Gaskey

                                    Oakman wrote:

                                    For you?

                                    yep.

                                    Oakman wrote:

                                    For me? Not so much.

                                    now that is sad.

                                    Mike - typical white guy. The USA does have universal healthcare, but you have to pay for it. D'oh. Thomas Mann - "Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." The NYT - my leftist brochure. Calling an illegal alien an “undocumented immigrant” is like calling a drug dealer an “unlicensed pharmacist”. God doesn't believe in atheists, therefore they don't exist.

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                                    R Giskard Reventlov
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #64

                                    Mike Gaskey wrote:

                                    now that is sad.

                                    Patronising.

                                    me, me, me

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                                    • T ToddHileHoffer

                                      Nope. I got the list in an email and I just posted it. I'm not atheist or christian or anything else. I don't know, I won't know, and I leave it at that.

                                      I didn't get any requirements for the signature

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                                      Ilion
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #65

                                      ToddHileHoffer wrote:

                                      I don't know, I won't know, and I leave it at that.

                                      :laugh: Indeed. Except, of course, that as with all your ilk, you continuously *assert* "There is no God!" even are you deny the question can even sensibly be asked.

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                                      • R Rob Graham

                                        digital man wrote:

                                        Yes it is.

                                        Only to those atheists who find it humorous to belittle those who don't share their belief.

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                                        Ilion
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #66

                                        Rob Graham wrote:

                                        Only to those atheists who find it humorous to [mindlessly] belittle those who don't share [uncritically accept] their [generally not-thought-out] belief[s and to those pretend-cynics who believe themselves far too superior to hold to beliefs].

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                                        • O Oakman

                                          digital man wrote:

                                          Oh come now: if that had been about muslims you'd have laughed.

                                          Could be, I won't claim I am perfect. But my objection to it is the substitution of insults for humor. You can see, by my tongue-lashing thread which isn't hard to find, that it's not a matter of my not finding some Christians and their short-sightedness very funny. In the long run, I find most true believers hilarious - and that includes (but is not limited to) atheists, christians, mormons, muslims, jeffersonians ;) , and hindus.

                                          Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

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                                          Ilion
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #67

                                          Oakman wrote:

                                          Could be, I won't claim I am perfect. But my objection to it is the substitution of insults for humor. You can see, by my tongue-lashing thread which isn't hard to find, that it's not a matter of my not finding some Christians and their short-sightedness very funny. In the long run, I find most true believers hilarious - and that includes (but is not limited to) atheists, christians, mormons, muslims, jeffersonians ;) , and hindus.

                                          "I won't claim I am perfect" "In the long run, I find most true believers hilarious ..." You know, Oakman, you really are an amazing fool in your "cynical" pseudo-superiority.

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