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  • Z Offline
    Z Offline
    Zyxil
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? i'll post the answer in about a half hour. -John

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    • Z Zyxil

      How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? i'll post the answer in about a half hour. -John

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      D Offline
      David Wulff
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


      David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

      I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

      Z R M B R 5 Replies Last reply
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      • D David Wulff

        I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


        David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

        I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

        Z Offline
        Z Offline
        Zyxil
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        another of my favorites is: how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? two, but they have problems getting inside -John

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        • D David Wulff

          I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


          David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

          I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

          R Offline
          R Offline
          Roger Wright
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Californians screw in hot tubs, not light bulbs. This Signature is Temporarily Out of Order

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          • Z Zyxil

            How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? i'll post the answer in about a half hour. -John

            Z Offline
            Z Offline
            Zyxil
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            i gotta run, it being quitting time here on the east coast of the US... that and i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, so, without further ado,,, How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? the fish! big thanks go to david, who is the only one who even responded,, good night, i'll be here all week ;P -John

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            • R Roger Wright

              How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Californians screw in hot tubs, not light bulbs. This Signature is Temporarily Out of Order

              S Offline
              S Offline
              Shog9 0
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              LOL! :-D

              Shog9

              Let me hear you / Make decisions / Without your television

              Join Team CodeProject

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • D David Wulff

                I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


                David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

                M Offline
                M Offline
                Michael Dunn
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch. :cool: --Mike-- Just released - RightClick-Encrypt v1.4 - Adds fast & easy file encryption to Explorer My really out-of-date homepage Sonork-100.19012 Acid_Helm

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                • Z Zyxil

                  i gotta run, it being quitting time here on the east coast of the US... that and i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, so, without further ado,,, How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? the fish! big thanks go to david, who is the only one who even responded,, good night, i'll be here all week ;P -John

                  S Offline
                  S Offline
                  Shog9 0
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  The Fiiish? Where is that Fish? ;P

                  Shog9

                  Let me hear you / Make decisions / Without your television

                  Join Team CodeProject

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • Z Zyxil

                    i gotta run, it being quitting time here on the east coast of the US... that and i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, so, without further ado,,, How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? the fish! big thanks go to david, who is the only one who even responded,, good night, i'll be here all week ;P -John

                    D Offline
                    D Offline
                    David Wulff
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    John Morales wrote: the fish! That and just about everything else. My personal favourite is: "Two. One to pickle the giraffe and the other to eat the sink." There are endless possiblities. :-D


                    David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                    I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

                    B 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • S Simon Walton

                      How many homophobics does it take to change a lightbulb? None - they're all too busy making up gay jokes. Ok, so I forget the punchline, but you have to commend me for trying.

                      8

                      SIMON WALTON
                      SONORK ID 100.10024

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Simon Walton wrote: but you have to commend me for trying. :commend: Consider yourself commended.

                      Mike Mullikin :beer: You can't really dust for vomit. Nigel Tufnel - Spinal Tap

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • Z Zyxil

                        How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? i'll post the answer in about a half hour. -John

                        S Offline
                        S Offline
                        Simon Walton
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        How many homophobics does it take to change a lightbulb? None - they're all too busy making up gay jokes. Ok, so I forget the punchline, but you have to commend me for trying.

                        8

                        SIMON WALTON
                        SONORK ID 100.10024

                        L 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • D David Wulff

                          I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


                          David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                          I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

                          R Offline
                          R Offline
                          Richard Stringer
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? Can't be done. Its a hardware problem. Richard When we mean to build, We first survey the plot, then draw the model; And when we see the figure of the house, Then must we rate the cost of the execution. William Shakespeare (King Henry IV)

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • D David Wulff

                            I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


                            David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                            I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

                            B Offline
                            B Offline
                            Barry Lapthorn
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            How many Oxbridge/Ivy League* graduates does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, and then they wait for the world to revolve around them...... * delete as applicable.... B.

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                            • Z Zyxil

                              i gotta run, it being quitting time here on the east coast of the US... that and i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, so, without further ado,,, How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? the fish! big thanks go to david, who is the only one who even responded,, good night, i'll be here all week ;P -John

                              O Offline
                              O Offline
                              Olli
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              John Morales wrote: i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, LOL ! exactly what happened...... ;)

                              Olli I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.....
                              :suss: :rolleyes: :suss:

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                              • Z Zyxil

                                How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? i'll post the answer in about a half hour. -John

                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                Lost User
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                How many M$ employess does it take to change a light bulb ? None, they define darkness as the new light. Would you like to meet my teddy bear ?

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • D David Wulff

                                  John Morales wrote: the fish! That and just about everything else. My personal favourite is: "Two. One to pickle the giraffe and the other to eat the sink." There are endless possiblities. :-D


                                  David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                                  I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

                                  B Offline
                                  B Offline
                                  benjymous
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  "Two - One to hold the step ladder, and the other to fill the bath with brightly coloured machine tools" is my favourite -- Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • O Olli

                                    John Morales wrote: i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, LOL ! exactly what happened...... ;)

                                    Olli I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.....
                                    :suss: :rolleyes: :suss:

                                    C Offline
                                    C Offline
                                    Chris Maunder
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    It wasn't me! It wasn't me! :D cheers, Chris Maunder

                                    O 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • C Chris Maunder

                                      It wasn't me! It wasn't me! :D cheers, Chris Maunder

                                      O Offline
                                      O Offline
                                      Olli
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      Chris Maunder wrote: It wasn't me! It wasn't me! This is what I have said too......;);P

                                      Olli I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.....
                                      :suss: :rolleyes: :suss:

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