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Question Time

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • D David Wulff

    I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


    David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

    I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

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    Roger Wright
    wrote on last edited by
    #4

    How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Californians screw in hot tubs, not light bulbs. This Signature is Temporarily Out of Order

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    • Z Zyxil

      How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? i'll post the answer in about a half hour. -John

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      Zyxil
      wrote on last edited by
      #5

      i gotta run, it being quitting time here on the east coast of the US... that and i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, so, without further ado,,, How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? the fish! big thanks go to david, who is the only one who even responded,, good night, i'll be here all week ;P -John

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      • R Roger Wright

        How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Californians screw in hot tubs, not light bulbs. This Signature is Temporarily Out of Order

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        S Offline
        Shog9 0
        wrote on last edited by
        #6

        LOL! :-D

        Shog9

        Let me hear you / Make decisions / Without your television

        Join Team CodeProject

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        • D David Wulff

          I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


          David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

          I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

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          M Offline
          Michael Dunn
          wrote on last edited by
          #7

          How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch. :cool: --Mike-- Just released - RightClick-Encrypt v1.4 - Adds fast & easy file encryption to Explorer My really out-of-date homepage Sonork-100.19012 Acid_Helm

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          • Z Zyxil

            i gotta run, it being quitting time here on the east coast of the US... that and i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, so, without further ado,,, How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? the fish! big thanks go to david, who is the only one who even responded,, good night, i'll be here all week ;P -John

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            S Offline
            Shog9 0
            wrote on last edited by
            #8

            The Fiiish? Where is that Fish? ;P

            Shog9

            Let me hear you / Make decisions / Without your television

            Join Team CodeProject

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • Z Zyxil

              i gotta run, it being quitting time here on the east coast of the US... that and i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, so, without further ado,,, How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? the fish! big thanks go to david, who is the only one who even responded,, good night, i'll be here all week ;P -John

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              David Wulff
              wrote on last edited by
              #9

              John Morales wrote: the fish! That and just about everything else. My personal favourite is: "Two. One to pickle the giraffe and the other to eat the sink." There are endless possiblities. :-D


              David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

              I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

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              • S Simon Walton

                How many homophobics does it take to change a lightbulb? None - they're all too busy making up gay jokes. Ok, so I forget the punchline, but you have to commend me for trying.

                8

                SIMON WALTON
                SONORK ID 100.10024

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                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #10

                Simon Walton wrote: but you have to commend me for trying. :commend: Consider yourself commended.

                Mike Mullikin :beer: You can't really dust for vomit. Nigel Tufnel - Spinal Tap

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                • Z Zyxil

                  How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? i'll post the answer in about a half hour. -John

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                  S Offline
                  Simon Walton
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #11

                  How many homophobics does it take to change a lightbulb? None - they're all too busy making up gay jokes. Ok, so I forget the punchline, but you have to commend me for trying.

                  8

                  SIMON WALTON
                  SONORK ID 100.10024

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                  • D David Wulff

                    I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


                    David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                    I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

                    R Offline
                    R Offline
                    Richard Stringer
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #12

                    How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? Can't be done. Its a hardware problem. Richard When we mean to build, We first survey the plot, then draw the model; And when we see the figure of the house, Then must we rate the cost of the execution. William Shakespeare (King Henry IV)

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                    • D David Wulff

                      I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


                      David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                      I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

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                      B Offline
                      Barry Lapthorn
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #13

                      How many Oxbridge/Ivy League* graduates does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, and then they wait for the world to revolve around them...... * delete as applicable.... B.

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                      • Z Zyxil

                        i gotta run, it being quitting time here on the east coast of the US... that and i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, so, without further ado,,, How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? the fish! big thanks go to david, who is the only one who even responded,, good night, i'll be here all week ;P -John

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                        Olli
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #14

                        John Morales wrote: i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, LOL ! exactly what happened...... ;)

                        Olli I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.....
                        :suss: :rolleyes: :suss:

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                        • Z Zyxil

                          How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? i'll post the answer in about a half hour. -John

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                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #15

                          How many M$ employess does it take to change a light bulb ? None, they define darkness as the new light. Would you like to meet my teddy bear ?

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                          • D David Wulff

                            John Morales wrote: the fish! That and just about everything else. My personal favourite is: "Two. One to pickle the giraffe and the other to eat the sink." There are endless possiblities. :-D


                            David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                            I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

                            B Offline
                            B Offline
                            benjymous
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #16

                            "Two - One to hold the step ladder, and the other to fill the bath with brightly coloured machine tools" is my favourite -- Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!

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                            • O Olli

                              John Morales wrote: i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, LOL ! exactly what happened...... ;)

                              Olli I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.....
                              :suss: :rolleyes: :suss:

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                              C Offline
                              Chris Maunder
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #17

                              It wasn't me! It wasn't me! :D cheers, Chris Maunder

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                              • C Chris Maunder

                                It wasn't me! It wasn't me! :D cheers, Chris Maunder

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                                Olli
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #18

                                Chris Maunder wrote: It wasn't me! It wasn't me! This is what I have said too......;);P

                                Olli I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.....
                                :suss: :rolleyes: :suss:

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