Tim Vine Gag
-
Don't be such a plank...
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
-
The stairway to heaving.
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus!
-
Shiver me timbers, that's a bit wooden.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
-
Shiver me timbers, that's a bit wooden.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
-
-
I'll knot be having that.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
-
The last book I read was an encyclopaedia. I know what you're thinking. "That explains everything".
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
-
There's a gang going through our town, systematically shoplifting clothes in size order... The police believe they're still at large.
So, I was standing on the train the other day. There was a man next to me wearing the same clothes as me, carrying the same briefcase. He even had the same face as me. I was beside myself.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
-
The last book I read was an encyclopaedia. I know what you're thinking. "That explains everything".
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
-
So, I was standing on the train the other day. There was a man next to me wearing the same clothes as me, carrying the same briefcase. He even had the same face as me. I was beside myself.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
I went into a mirror shop and asked the grey-haired, overweight foolish looking chap if I could buy a mirror. He said "I'm over here sir".
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]
-
-
I went into a mirror shop and asked the grey-haired, overweight foolish looking chap if I could buy a mirror. He said "I'm over here sir".
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]
-
I went into a mirror shop and asked the grey-haired, overweight foolish looking chap if I could buy a mirror. He said "I'm over here sir".
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]
I was looking at this ball, wondering why it seemed to be getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
-
-
I liked 'And next up is Steve Wright with the Big Show' Actually now I think about it, it might have been his brother who said that.
-
-
I don't know I come on here to ply my puns and find there's already loads :-(. Andy B
-
I tried mugging an old aged pensioner yesterday. I said, "Give me all your money now, bitch, or you're geography." "Don't you mean history?" she replied. I said, "Don't try to change the subject."
The Police have announced that they are looking for a thief who is reported to be both a clairvoyant and a dwarf. They report that there is a small medium at large.
Ali
-
your butler is a zebra? :omg:
Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [My Articles] Nil Volentibus Arduum
Please use <PRE> tags for code snippets, they preserve indentation, improve readability, and make me actually look at the code.
-
I liked 'And next up is Steve Wright with the Big Show' Actually now I think about it, it might have been his brother who said that.
Roger that. :)
Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [My Articles] Nil Volentibus Arduum
Please use <PRE> tags for code snippets, they preserve indentation, improve readability, and make me actually look at the code.
