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Tim Vine Gag

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • D Dalek Dave

    Only after sitting down and reflecting on everything, did I realise just how shiny my room is.

    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

    L Offline
    L Offline
    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    There's a gang going through our town, systematically shoplifting clothes in size order... The police believe they're still at large.

    My Rep points[^]

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    • D Dalek Dave

      Now hang on Joist a minute, I want these puns to Dove-Tail nicely!

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

      R Offline
      R Offline
      R Giskard Reventlov
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      I'll knot be having that.

      "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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      • D Dalek Dave

        Only after sitting down and reflecting on everything, did I realise just how shiny my room is.

        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

        P Offline
        P Offline
        Pete OHanlon
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        The last book I read was an encyclopaedia. I know what you're thinking. "That explains everything".

        I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

        Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

        My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

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        • L Lost User

          There's a gang going through our town, systematically shoplifting clothes in size order... The police believe they're still at large.

          My Rep points[^]

          P Offline
          P Offline
          Pete OHanlon
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          So, I was standing on the train the other day. There was a man next to me wearing the same clothes as me, carrying the same briefcase. He even had the same face as me. I was beside myself.

          I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

          Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

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          • P Pete OHanlon

            The last book I read was an encyclopaedia. I know what you're thinking. "That explains everything".

            I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

            Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

            My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

            D Offline
            D Offline
            Dalek Dave
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            I read the dictionary, cover to cover. The Zebra did it.

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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            • P Pete OHanlon

              So, I was standing on the train the other day. There was a man next to me wearing the same clothes as me, carrying the same briefcase. He even had the same face as me. I was beside myself.

              I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

              Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

              My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

              D Offline
              D Offline
              Dalek Dave
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              I went into a mirror shop and asked the grey-haired, overweight foolish looking chap if I could buy a mirror. He said "I'm over here sir".

              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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              • D Dalek Dave

                I read the dictionary, cover to cover. The Zebra did it.

                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                0 Offline
                0 Offline
                007Bon
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                :laugh: Now we know how, all CCC's come to your mind.

                "Talk is cheap. Show me the code." -Linus Torvalds

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • D Dalek Dave

                  I went into a mirror shop and asked the grey-haired, overweight foolish looking chap if I could buy a mirror. He said "I'm over here sir".

                  ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  I tried mugging an old aged pensioner yesterday. I said, "Give me all your money now, bitch, or you're geography." "Don't you mean history?" she replied. I said, "Don't try to change the subject."

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                  • D Dalek Dave

                    I went into a mirror shop and asked the grey-haired, overweight foolish looking chap if I could buy a mirror. He said "I'm over here sir".

                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                    P Offline
                    P Offline
                    Pete OHanlon
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    I was looking at this ball, wondering why it seemed to be getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.

                    I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                    Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                    My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • D Dalek Dave

                      Only after sitting down and reflecting on everything, did I realise just how shiny my room is.

                      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      I liked 'And next up is Steve Wright with the Big Show' Actually now I think about it, it might have been his brother who said that.

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                      • L Lost User

                        I liked 'And next up is Steve Wright with the Big Show' Actually now I think about it, it might have been his brother who said that.

                        D Offline
                        D Offline
                        Dalek Dave
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        Clunk! That took me 20 seconds before I got it!

                        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                        L 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • D Dalek Dave

                          Clunk! That took me 20 seconds before I got it!

                          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #20

                          They are really Brothers too.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • D Dalek Dave

                            So long as you don't get Board with it.

                            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            LabVIEWstuff
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #21

                            I don't know I come on here to ply my puns and find there's already loads :-(. Andy B

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                            • L Lost User

                              I tried mugging an old aged pensioner yesterday. I said, "Give me all your money now, bitch, or you're geography." "Don't you mean history?" she replied. I said, "Don't try to change the subject."

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              LittleYellowBird
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #22

                              The Police have announced that they are looking for a thief who is reported to be both a clairvoyant and a dwarf. They report that there is a small medium at large.

                              Ali

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                              • D Dalek Dave

                                I read the dictionary, cover to cover. The Zebra did it.

                                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                Luc Pattyn
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #23

                                your butler is a zebra? :omg:

                                Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [My Articles] Nil Volentibus Arduum

                                Please use <PRE> tags for code snippets, they preserve indentation, improve readability, and make me actually look at the code.

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • L Lost User

                                  I liked 'And next up is Steve Wright with the Big Show' Actually now I think about it, it might have been his brother who said that.

                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  Luc Pattyn
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #24

                                  Roger that. :)

                                  Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [My Articles] Nil Volentibus Arduum

                                  Please use <PRE> tags for code snippets, they preserve indentation, improve readability, and make me actually look at the code.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • R R Giskard Reventlov

                                    I'll knot be having that.

                                    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                                    S Offline
                                    S Offline
                                    Simon_Whale
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #25

                                    now were being all just being plane silly

                                    As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • L LittleYellowBird

                                      The Police have announced that they are looking for a thief who is reported to be both a clairvoyant and a dwarf. They report that there is a small medium at large.

                                      Ali

                                      L Offline
                                      L Offline
                                      Lost User
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #26

                                      I'm sure that was a Ronnie Barker joke.

                                      Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

                                      L 1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • L Lost User

                                        I'm sure that was a Ronnie Barker joke.

                                        Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        LittleYellowBird
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #27

                                        By him or about him? :-D

                                        Ali

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • H Henry Minute

                                          The stairway to heaving.

                                          Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus!

                                          Mike HankeyM Offline
                                          Mike HankeyM Offline
                                          Mike Hankey
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #28

                                          Close enough for a 5er

                                          I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
                                          My Site

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