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Tim Vine Gag

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • D Dalek Dave

    Now hang on Joist a minute, I want these puns to Dove-Tail nicely!

    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

    R Offline
    R Offline
    R Giskard Reventlov
    wrote on last edited by
    #10

    I'll knot be having that.

    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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    • D Dalek Dave

      Only after sitting down and reflecting on everything, did I realise just how shiny my room is.

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

      P Offline
      P Offline
      Pete OHanlon
      wrote on last edited by
      #11

      The last book I read was an encyclopaedia. I know what you're thinking. "That explains everything".

      I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

      Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

      My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

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      • L Lost User

        There's a gang going through our town, systematically shoplifting clothes in size order... The police believe they're still at large.

        My Rep points[^]

        P Offline
        P Offline
        Pete OHanlon
        wrote on last edited by
        #12

        So, I was standing on the train the other day. There was a man next to me wearing the same clothes as me, carrying the same briefcase. He even had the same face as me. I was beside myself.

        I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

        Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

        My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

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        • P Pete OHanlon

          The last book I read was an encyclopaedia. I know what you're thinking. "That explains everything".

          I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

          Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

          D Offline
          D Offline
          Dalek Dave
          wrote on last edited by
          #13

          I read the dictionary, cover to cover. The Zebra did it.

          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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          • P Pete OHanlon

            So, I was standing on the train the other day. There was a man next to me wearing the same clothes as me, carrying the same briefcase. He even had the same face as me. I was beside myself.

            I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

            Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

            My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

            D Offline
            D Offline
            Dalek Dave
            wrote on last edited by
            #14

            I went into a mirror shop and asked the grey-haired, overweight foolish looking chap if I could buy a mirror. He said "I'm over here sir".

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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            • D Dalek Dave

              I read the dictionary, cover to cover. The Zebra did it.

              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

              0 Offline
              0 Offline
              007Bon
              wrote on last edited by
              #15

              :laugh: Now we know how, all CCC's come to your mind.

              "Talk is cheap. Show me the code." -Linus Torvalds

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              • D Dalek Dave

                I went into a mirror shop and asked the grey-haired, overweight foolish looking chap if I could buy a mirror. He said "I'm over here sir".

                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #16

                I tried mugging an old aged pensioner yesterday. I said, "Give me all your money now, bitch, or you're geography." "Don't you mean history?" she replied. I said, "Don't try to change the subject."

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                • D Dalek Dave

                  I went into a mirror shop and asked the grey-haired, overweight foolish looking chap if I could buy a mirror. He said "I'm over here sir".

                  ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                  P Offline
                  P Offline
                  Pete OHanlon
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #17

                  I was looking at this ball, wondering why it seemed to be getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.

                  I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                  Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                  My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • D Dalek Dave

                    Only after sitting down and reflecting on everything, did I realise just how shiny my room is.

                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #18

                    I liked 'And next up is Steve Wright with the Big Show' Actually now I think about it, it might have been his brother who said that.

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                    • L Lost User

                      I liked 'And next up is Steve Wright with the Big Show' Actually now I think about it, it might have been his brother who said that.

                      D Offline
                      D Offline
                      Dalek Dave
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #19

                      Clunk! That took me 20 seconds before I got it!

                      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                      • D Dalek Dave

                        Clunk! That took me 20 seconds before I got it!

                        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Lost User
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #20

                        They are really Brothers too.

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • D Dalek Dave

                          So long as you don't get Board with it.

                          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          LabVIEWstuff
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #21

                          I don't know I come on here to ply my puns and find there's already loads :-(. Andy B

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                          • L Lost User

                            I tried mugging an old aged pensioner yesterday. I said, "Give me all your money now, bitch, or you're geography." "Don't you mean history?" she replied. I said, "Don't try to change the subject."

                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            LittleYellowBird
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #22

                            The Police have announced that they are looking for a thief who is reported to be both a clairvoyant and a dwarf. They report that there is a small medium at large.

                            Ali

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                            • D Dalek Dave

                              I read the dictionary, cover to cover. The Zebra did it.

                              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Luc Pattyn
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #23

                              your butler is a zebra? :omg:

                              Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [My Articles] Nil Volentibus Arduum

                              Please use <PRE> tags for code snippets, they preserve indentation, improve readability, and make me actually look at the code.

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                              • L Lost User

                                I liked 'And next up is Steve Wright with the Big Show' Actually now I think about it, it might have been his brother who said that.

                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                Luc Pattyn
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #24

                                Roger that. :)

                                Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [My Articles] Nil Volentibus Arduum

                                Please use <PRE> tags for code snippets, they preserve indentation, improve readability, and make me actually look at the code.

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • R R Giskard Reventlov

                                  I'll knot be having that.

                                  "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                                  S Offline
                                  S Offline
                                  Simon_Whale
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #25

                                  now were being all just being plane silly

                                  As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.

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                                  • L LittleYellowBird

                                    The Police have announced that they are looking for a thief who is reported to be both a clairvoyant and a dwarf. They report that there is a small medium at large.

                                    Ali

                                    L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    Lost User
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #26

                                    I'm sure that was a Ronnie Barker joke.

                                    Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

                                    L 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • L Lost User

                                      I'm sure that was a Ronnie Barker joke.

                                      Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

                                      L Offline
                                      L Offline
                                      LittleYellowBird
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #27

                                      By him or about him? :-D

                                      Ali

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                                      • H Henry Minute

                                        The stairway to heaving.

                                        Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus!

                                        Mike HankeyM Offline
                                        Mike HankeyM Offline
                                        Mike Hankey
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #28

                                        Close enough for a 5er

                                        I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
                                        My Site

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