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Tim Vine Gag

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • P Pete OHanlon

    So, I was standing on the train the other day. There was a man next to me wearing the same clothes as me, carrying the same briefcase. He even had the same face as me. I was beside myself.

    I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

    Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

    My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

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    Dalek Dave
    wrote on last edited by
    #14

    I went into a mirror shop and asked the grey-haired, overweight foolish looking chap if I could buy a mirror. He said "I'm over here sir".

    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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    • D Dalek Dave

      I read the dictionary, cover to cover. The Zebra did it.

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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      007Bon
      wrote on last edited by
      #15

      :laugh: Now we know how, all CCC's come to your mind.

      "Talk is cheap. Show me the code." -Linus Torvalds

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      • D Dalek Dave

        I went into a mirror shop and asked the grey-haired, overweight foolish looking chap if I could buy a mirror. He said "I'm over here sir".

        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #16

        I tried mugging an old aged pensioner yesterday. I said, "Give me all your money now, bitch, or you're geography." "Don't you mean history?" she replied. I said, "Don't try to change the subject."

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        • D Dalek Dave

          I went into a mirror shop and asked the grey-haired, overweight foolish looking chap if I could buy a mirror. He said "I'm over here sir".

          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

          P Offline
          P Offline
          Pete OHanlon
          wrote on last edited by
          #17

          I was looking at this ball, wondering why it seemed to be getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.

          I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

          Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

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          • D Dalek Dave

            Only after sitting down and reflecting on everything, did I realise just how shiny my room is.

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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            Lost User
            wrote on last edited by
            #18

            I liked 'And next up is Steve Wright with the Big Show' Actually now I think about it, it might have been his brother who said that.

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            • L Lost User

              I liked 'And next up is Steve Wright with the Big Show' Actually now I think about it, it might have been his brother who said that.

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              Dalek Dave
              wrote on last edited by
              #19

              Clunk! That took me 20 seconds before I got it!

              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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              • D Dalek Dave

                Clunk! That took me 20 seconds before I got it!

                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #20

                They are really Brothers too.

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                • D Dalek Dave

                  So long as you don't get Board with it.

                  ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                  LabVIEWstuff
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #21

                  I don't know I come on here to ply my puns and find there's already loads :-(. Andy B

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                  • L Lost User

                    I tried mugging an old aged pensioner yesterday. I said, "Give me all your money now, bitch, or you're geography." "Don't you mean history?" she replied. I said, "Don't try to change the subject."

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                    LittleYellowBird
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #22

                    The Police have announced that they are looking for a thief who is reported to be both a clairvoyant and a dwarf. They report that there is a small medium at large.

                    Ali

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                    • D Dalek Dave

                      I read the dictionary, cover to cover. The Zebra did it.

                      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                      Luc Pattyn
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #23

                      your butler is a zebra? :omg:

                      Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [My Articles] Nil Volentibus Arduum

                      Please use <PRE> tags for code snippets, they preserve indentation, improve readability, and make me actually look at the code.

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                      • L Lost User

                        I liked 'And next up is Steve Wright with the Big Show' Actually now I think about it, it might have been his brother who said that.

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                        L Offline
                        Luc Pattyn
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #24

                        Roger that. :)

                        Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [My Articles] Nil Volentibus Arduum

                        Please use <PRE> tags for code snippets, they preserve indentation, improve readability, and make me actually look at the code.

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                        • R R Giskard Reventlov

                          I'll knot be having that.

                          "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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                          Simon_Whale
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #25

                          now were being all just being plane silly

                          As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.

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                          • L LittleYellowBird

                            The Police have announced that they are looking for a thief who is reported to be both a clairvoyant and a dwarf. They report that there is a small medium at large.

                            Ali

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                            Lost User
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #26

                            I'm sure that was a Ronnie Barker joke.

                            Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

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                            • L Lost User

                              I'm sure that was a Ronnie Barker joke.

                              Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

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                              LittleYellowBird
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #27

                              By him or about him? :-D

                              Ali

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                              • H Henry Minute

                                The stairway to heaving.

                                Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus!

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                                Mike Hankey
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #28

                                Close enough for a 5er

                                I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
                                My Site

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