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"The World's Worst Software Developer"

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  • A Andrew Rissing

    "I can program my DVR, how much harder is a computer?"

    J Offline
    J Offline
    jesarg
    wrote on last edited by
    #36

    "I can write emails and play solitaire on my computer; how much harder could it be to program it?"

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • W wizardzz

      Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

      R Offline
      R Offline
      Rajesh R Subramanian
      wrote on last edited by
      #37

      What debugger?

      "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

      P 1 Reply Last reply
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      • W wizardzz

        Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

        R Offline
        R Offline
        R Giskard Reventlov
        wrote on last edited by
        #38

        My head asplode!!! BTW: why are we writing your material for you???

        "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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        • R Rage

          "I build using my plain english compiler". (This is for the dinausors here.)

          R Offline
          R Offline
          Rajesh R Subramanian
          wrote on last edited by
          #39

          5 from a Fukuiraptor! :)

          "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • W wizardzz

            Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

            A Offline
            A Offline
            Andy Brummer
            wrote on last edited by
            #40

            How do you tell if a number is negative? - I've been asked this by a co-worker in real life.

            Curvature of the Mind now with 3D

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            • A Andy Brummer

              How do you tell if a number is negative? - I've been asked this by a co-worker in real life.

              Curvature of the Mind now with 3D

              A Offline
              A Offline
              AspDotNetDev
              wrote on last edited by
              #41

              I'm sure you told them of the complexities of dropping down to assembly language to check the sign bit, which can vary depending on the byte ordering and the bit ordering, what number system is used (floating point, two's complement, ones' complement, etc.), the size of numbers on different architectures (e.g., 32-bit, 64-bit) and compilers (e.g., Intel C++, Microsoft C++), and the assembly instruction set supported (e.g., x86, MIPS). It's a very difficult task, you see.

              Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

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              • A AspDotNetDev

                I'm sure you told them of the complexities of dropping down to assembly language to check the sign bit, which can vary depending on the byte ordering and the bit ordering, what number system is used (floating point, two's complement, ones' complement, etc.), the size of numbers on different architectures (e.g., 32-bit, 64-bit) and compilers (e.g., Intel C++, Microsoft C++), and the assembly instruction set supported (e.g., x86, MIPS). It's a very difficult task, you see.

                Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

                A Offline
                A Offline
                Andrew Rissing
                wrote on last edited by
                #42

                You should for good measure discuss Heisenberg's uncertainty principle too. Once you're measured the value to see if it is negative, you have modified it.

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                • A Andrew Rissing

                  You should for good measure discuss Heisenberg's uncertainty principle too. Once you're measured the value to see if it is negative, you have modified it.

                  A Offline
                  A Offline
                  AspDotNetDev
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #43

                  Oh dear me, how could I forget Heisenberg's uncertainty principle! While I'm at it, I also forgot about multi-threading volatility, and the susceptibility of non-ECC RAM to errors (which is even less severe than errors caused by paged virtual memory)! Certainly, there should be some locking and some replicated values to account for such common occurrences. Oh, and if the system does not include hardware-level prevention of buffer overflows, there may need to be some work done to prevent the sign bit from being overwritten by external programs, of course.

                  Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

                  A 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • L Lost User

                    "Nah... we don't need to worry about patents!" [Spoken in Korean]

                    C Offline
                    C Offline
                    Colin Mullikin
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #44

                    Mike Mullikin wrote:

                    Nah... we don't need to worry about patents

                    I believe what you meant was, "Patents!? We don't need no stinkin' patents!"

                    The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin

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                    • A AspDotNetDev

                      I'm sure you told them of the complexities of dropping down to assembly language to check the sign bit, which can vary depending on the byte ordering and the bit ordering, what number system is used (floating point, two's complement, ones' complement, etc.), the size of numbers on different architectures (e.g., 32-bit, 64-bit) and compilers (e.g., Intel C++, Microsoft C++), and the assembly instruction set supported (e.g., x86, MIPS). It's a very difficult task, you see.

                      Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

                      C Offline
                      C Offline
                      Colin Mullikin
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #45

                      AspDotNetDev wrote:

                      MIPS

                      This brings back some bad college memories... :mad:

                      The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin

                      A 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • C Colin Mullikin

                        AspDotNetDev wrote:

                        MIPS

                        This brings back some bad college memories... :mad:

                        The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin

                        A Offline
                        A Offline
                        AspDotNetDev
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #46

                        College is the only reason I am familiar with MIPS. :)

                        Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • W wizardzz

                          Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #47

                          My Project is really Service Oriented because I have 10 Web Service in it!

                          Meysam

                          W Z 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • A AspDotNetDev

                            Oh dear me, how could I forget Heisenberg's uncertainty principle! While I'm at it, I also forgot about multi-threading volatility, and the susceptibility of non-ECC RAM to errors (which is even less severe than errors caused by paged virtual memory)! Certainly, there should be some locking and some replicated values to account for such common occurrences. Oh, and if the system does not include hardware-level prevention of buffer overflows, there may need to be some work done to prevent the sign bit from being overwritten by external programs, of course.

                            Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

                            A Offline
                            A Offline
                            Andy Brummer
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #48

                            AspDotNetDev wrote:

                            susceptibility of non-ECC RAM to errors

                            I just like saying Cosmic Rays![^]

                            Curvature of the Mind now with 3D

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • A AspDotNetDev

                              I'm sure you told them of the complexities of dropping down to assembly language to check the sign bit, which can vary depending on the byte ordering and the bit ordering, what number system is used (floating point, two's complement, ones' complement, etc.), the size of numbers on different architectures (e.g., 32-bit, 64-bit) and compilers (e.g., Intel C++, Microsoft C++), and the assembly instruction set supported (e.g., x86, MIPS). It's a very difficult task, you see.

                              Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

                              A Offline
                              A Offline
                              Andy Brummer
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #49

                              I was stunned for a minute, kind of the same way I'd react if you asked me to help you tie your shoes because you forgot how. When I stammered less than zero, her face lit up and she thanked me for helping her out, because I'm just that awesome.

                              Curvature of the Mind now with 3D

                              P 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • W wizardzz

                                Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

                                R Offline
                                R Offline
                                Rutvik Dave
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #50

                                Oh that was 'documentation'? I thought it was 'specification' I wrote software for that. :-D now who is going to write documentation for this?

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • A Andrew Rissing

                                  You should for good measure discuss Heisenberg's uncertainty principle too. Once you're measured the value to see if it is negative, you have modified it.

                                  W Offline
                                  W Offline
                                  wizardzz
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #51

                                  Don't forget that Schroedinger guy's cat...

                                  C 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • L Lost User

                                    My Project is really Service Oriented because I have 10 Web Service in it!

                                    Meysam

                                    W Offline
                                    W Offline
                                    wizardzz
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #52

                                    :thumbsup: That's a Yakov Smirnoff styled one.

                                    L 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • W wizardzz

                                      Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

                                      E Offline
                                      E Offline
                                      egenis
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #53

                                      Metro

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • R R Giskard Reventlov

                                        My head asplode!!! BTW: why are we writing your material for you???

                                        "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                                        W Offline
                                        W Offline
                                        wizardzz
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #54

                                        Cause I'm cute? You guys write it for each other, I don't retell jokes I didn't write.

                                        R 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • W wizardzz

                                          :thumbsup: That's a Yakov Smirnoff styled one.

                                          L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          Lost User
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #55

                                          Consider my feelings when I was discussing with a guy who said this! Yeah, it just happened.

                                          Meysam

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