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"The World's Worst Software Developer"

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  • A AspDotNetDev

    I'm sure you told them of the complexities of dropping down to assembly language to check the sign bit, which can vary depending on the byte ordering and the bit ordering, what number system is used (floating point, two's complement, ones' complement, etc.), the size of numbers on different architectures (e.g., 32-bit, 64-bit) and compilers (e.g., Intel C++, Microsoft C++), and the assembly instruction set supported (e.g., x86, MIPS). It's a very difficult task, you see.

    Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

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    Andrew Rissing
    wrote on last edited by
    #42

    You should for good measure discuss Heisenberg's uncertainty principle too. Once you're measured the value to see if it is negative, you have modified it.

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    • A Andrew Rissing

      You should for good measure discuss Heisenberg's uncertainty principle too. Once you're measured the value to see if it is negative, you have modified it.

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      AspDotNetDev
      wrote on last edited by
      #43

      Oh dear me, how could I forget Heisenberg's uncertainty principle! While I'm at it, I also forgot about multi-threading volatility, and the susceptibility of non-ECC RAM to errors (which is even less severe than errors caused by paged virtual memory)! Certainly, there should be some locking and some replicated values to account for such common occurrences. Oh, and if the system does not include hardware-level prevention of buffer overflows, there may need to be some work done to prevent the sign bit from being overwritten by external programs, of course.

      Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

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      • L Lost User

        "Nah... we don't need to worry about patents!" [Spoken in Korean]

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        Colin Mullikin
        wrote on last edited by
        #44

        Mike Mullikin wrote:

        Nah... we don't need to worry about patents

        I believe what you meant was, "Patents!? We don't need no stinkin' patents!"

        The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin

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        • A AspDotNetDev

          I'm sure you told them of the complexities of dropping down to assembly language to check the sign bit, which can vary depending on the byte ordering and the bit ordering, what number system is used (floating point, two's complement, ones' complement, etc.), the size of numbers on different architectures (e.g., 32-bit, 64-bit) and compilers (e.g., Intel C++, Microsoft C++), and the assembly instruction set supported (e.g., x86, MIPS). It's a very difficult task, you see.

          Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

          C Offline
          C Offline
          Colin Mullikin
          wrote on last edited by
          #45

          AspDotNetDev wrote:

          MIPS

          This brings back some bad college memories... :mad:

          The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin

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          • C Colin Mullikin

            AspDotNetDev wrote:

            MIPS

            This brings back some bad college memories... :mad:

            The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin

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            AspDotNetDev
            wrote on last edited by
            #46

            College is the only reason I am familiar with MIPS. :)

            Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

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            • W wizardzz

              Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

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              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #47

              My Project is really Service Oriented because I have 10 Web Service in it!

              Meysam

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              • A AspDotNetDev

                Oh dear me, how could I forget Heisenberg's uncertainty principle! While I'm at it, I also forgot about multi-threading volatility, and the susceptibility of non-ECC RAM to errors (which is even less severe than errors caused by paged virtual memory)! Certainly, there should be some locking and some replicated values to account for such common occurrences. Oh, and if the system does not include hardware-level prevention of buffer overflows, there may need to be some work done to prevent the sign bit from being overwritten by external programs, of course.

                Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

                A Offline
                A Offline
                Andy Brummer
                wrote on last edited by
                #48

                AspDotNetDev wrote:

                susceptibility of non-ECC RAM to errors

                I just like saying Cosmic Rays![^]

                Curvature of the Mind now with 3D

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                • A AspDotNetDev

                  I'm sure you told them of the complexities of dropping down to assembly language to check the sign bit, which can vary depending on the byte ordering and the bit ordering, what number system is used (floating point, two's complement, ones' complement, etc.), the size of numbers on different architectures (e.g., 32-bit, 64-bit) and compilers (e.g., Intel C++, Microsoft C++), and the assembly instruction set supported (e.g., x86, MIPS). It's a very difficult task, you see.

                  Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

                  A Offline
                  A Offline
                  Andy Brummer
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #49

                  I was stunned for a minute, kind of the same way I'd react if you asked me to help you tie your shoes because you forgot how. When I stammered less than zero, her face lit up and she thanked me for helping her out, because I'm just that awesome.

                  Curvature of the Mind now with 3D

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                  • W wizardzz

                    Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

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                    Rutvik Dave
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #50

                    Oh that was 'documentation'? I thought it was 'specification' I wrote software for that. :-D now who is going to write documentation for this?

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                    • A Andrew Rissing

                      You should for good measure discuss Heisenberg's uncertainty principle too. Once you're measured the value to see if it is negative, you have modified it.

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                      W Offline
                      wizardzz
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #51

                      Don't forget that Schroedinger guy's cat...

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                      • L Lost User

                        My Project is really Service Oriented because I have 10 Web Service in it!

                        Meysam

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                        wizardzz
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #52

                        :thumbsup: That's a Yakov Smirnoff styled one.

                        L 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • W wizardzz

                          Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

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                          egenis
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #53

                          Metro

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                          • R R Giskard Reventlov

                            My head asplode!!! BTW: why are we writing your material for you???

                            "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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                            wizardzz
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #54

                            Cause I'm cute? You guys write it for each other, I don't retell jokes I didn't write.

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                            • W wizardzz

                              :thumbsup: That's a Yakov Smirnoff styled one.

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                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #55

                              Consider my feelings when I was discussing with a guy who said this! Yeah, it just happened.

                              Meysam

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                              • W wizardzz

                                Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

                                R Offline
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                                Richard Cunday
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #56

                                I code exclusively in Demoshield!

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • R Rage

                                  "I build using my plain english compiler". (This is for the dinausors here.)

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                                  Paul Conrad
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #57

                                  Uh oh, trying to summon The Grand What's-His-Face?

                                  "Any sort of work in VB6 is bound to provide several WTF moments." - Christian Graus

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                                  • W wizardzz

                                    Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

                                    R Offline
                                    R Offline
                                    Ravi Bhavnani
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #58

                                    "I recommend everyone on the team use Eclipse." /ravi

                                    My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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                                    • W wizardzz

                                      Wow, um, wow.

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                                      Paul Conrad
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #59

                                      I don't know who is the bigger idiot, the guy willing to do that for $1,500 or the guy that wants it done for $1,500... :rolleyes: ...and a red flag... "Buyer cannot cover the payment on-site." :wtf:

                                      "Any sort of work in VB6 is bound to provide several WTF moments." - Christian Graus

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                                      • P Paul Conrad

                                        I don't know who is the bigger idiot, the guy willing to do that for $1,500 or the guy that wants it done for $1,500... :rolleyes: ...and a red flag... "Buyer cannot cover the payment on-site." :wtf:

                                        "Any sort of work in VB6 is bound to provide several WTF moments." - Christian Graus

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                                        wizardzz
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #60

                                        I love when idiots find each other. Idiot bliss.

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                                        • C Colin Mullikin

                                          Mike Mullikin wrote:

                                          Nah... we don't need to worry about patents

                                          I believe what you meant was, "Patents!? We don't need no stinkin' patents!"

                                          The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin

                                          L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          Lost User
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #61

                                          I just couldn't imagine that with a Korean accent.

                                          C 1 Reply Last reply
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