"The World's Worst Software Developer"
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Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"
A series of quotes I've heard over the years. "There is no need to comment. The instructions tell you what is happening." "All these instructions in the S/370 Assembler is BS. You only need a handful of opcodes. Load, Store, Branch, Gosub, Return, Add, and Subtract. That's all you need." "The C compiler generates code just as good as anyone writing in Assembler." "The C compiler doesn't have any bugs like a program, it's a compiler, not a program." "Microsoft's memory manager does not work, which is why we wrote our own." "Source code control guarantees the program will always compile and run." "This processor can handle interrupts at any speed you choose." ...Hardware guys proceed to design hardware generating interrupts twice as fast as the processor can respond to, let alone process. "You don't have to worry about that condition. It only happens every once in a while." "Don't comment the code aside from a block of pseudocode at the beginning of the routine." "It can't be the hardware, it must be the software." ...explaining why only 1 of 60 identical controls is failing. After seeing prototype "Why can't we roll this out?" "Why can't you estimate how long it will take to write the software like we estimate how long it will take to build the hardware?" There are more, but this is depressing me.
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"
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Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"
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A series of quotes I've heard over the years. "There is no need to comment. The instructions tell you what is happening." "All these instructions in the S/370 Assembler is BS. You only need a handful of opcodes. Load, Store, Branch, Gosub, Return, Add, and Subtract. That's all you need." "The C compiler generates code just as good as anyone writing in Assembler." "The C compiler doesn't have any bugs like a program, it's a compiler, not a program." "Microsoft's memory manager does not work, which is why we wrote our own." "Source code control guarantees the program will always compile and run." "This processor can handle interrupts at any speed you choose." ...Hardware guys proceed to design hardware generating interrupts twice as fast as the processor can respond to, let alone process. "You don't have to worry about that condition. It only happens every once in a while." "Don't comment the code aside from a block of pseudocode at the beginning of the routine." "It can't be the hardware, it must be the software." ...explaining why only 1 of 60 identical controls is failing. After seeing prototype "Why can't we roll this out?" "Why can't you estimate how long it will take to write the software like we estimate how long it will take to build the hardware?" There are more, but this is depressing me.
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
Odd, but I don't get the impression that all of these are from developers. I feel a few of the "World's Worst Managers" crept in here as well...
BrainiacV wrote:
After seeing prototype "Why can't we roll this out?"
BrainiacV wrote:
"Why can't you estimate how long it will take to write the software like we estimate how long it will take to build the hardware?"
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Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"
True story - was training a dev someone to take over my MVC system. Asked him if he had ever coded in Visual Studio before. "Sure" he said - told me that he had written a huge system using WPF et al - the huge system took him 3 months and it was a complete success. Come time to setup his Visual Studio - he asked me to wait a sec to see if he had VS installed on his laptop. He didn't - so we got it installed. Finally after 2 days - got the whole environment and solution setup in VS. This is where it gets sad. Got him to build the app (had to tell him how to build the app..... you know like "f5"?) - and then asked him if he could go in the debugger to check something out - his reply "where is the debugger". Classic.
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Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"
What is null?
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What is null?
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Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"
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Could you repeat that?
I would, but nothing recurs to mind :-D
"Seize the day" - Horace "It's not what he doesn't know that scares me; it's what he knows for sure that just ain't so!" - Will Rogers, said by him about Herbert Hoover
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I tried lots of things but it not work.
Why is common sense not common? Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level where they are an expert. Sometimes it takes a lot of work to be lazy Please stand in front of my pistol, smile and wait for the flash - JSOP 2012
No, that's just half of my open questions on [another web site].
"Seize the day" - Horace "It's not what he doesn't know that scares me; it's what he knows for sure that just ain't so!" - Will Rogers, said by him about Herbert Hoover
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Yeah...that thing dead yet??
"Seize the day" - Horace "It's not what he doesn't know that scares me; it's what he knows for sure that just ain't so!" - Will Rogers, said by him about Herbert Hoover
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"By the time Y2K comes around I'll be working somewhere else, so why should I worry about those two-digits years in those reports I just wrote?" - Yes, this guy is real, and stopped talking to me after I reminded him of this statement for the tenth time.
"Seize the day" - Horace "It's not what he doesn't know that scares me; it's what he knows for sure that just ain't so!" - Will Rogers, said by him about Herbert Hoover
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Yeah...that thing dead yet??
"Seize the day" - Horace "It's not what he doesn't know that scares me; it's what he knows for sure that just ain't so!" - Will Rogers, said by him about Herbert Hoover
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I don't recall VB having a character to end each statement so I believe it should be "I write in VB exclusively" :)
djj55: Nice but may have a permission problem Pete O'Hanlon: He has my permission to run it.
He could have them on separate lines, like this: "I write in VB exclusively" & _ ":)"
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I actually had a guy say to some of us in a status meeting: "I didn't know what that code was doing, so I took it out." He didn't last much longer after that.
That's my strategy to deal with the unknown... Because it is only when something crash that we can understand what it was useful for. :) Dead code is far more dangerous (because it accumulate) than a one time crash !
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He could have them on separate lines, like this: "I write in VB exclusively" & _ ":)"
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ztg@brain $ cpparse -messageId "4349263" -forum "The Lounge" -followLinks "true" parsing..... ERROR: STACK OVERFLOW ztg@brain $
I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. Stephen Hawking
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ztg@brain $ cpparse -messageId "4349263" -forum "The Lounge" -followLinks "true" parsing..... ERROR: STACK OVERFLOW ztg@brain $
I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. Stephen Hawking
Haha... :D