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  3. Chronic low self-esteem?

Chronic low self-esteem?

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  • J Jamie Hale

    Hmmm. Trick is, the implied "God" that precedes that quote is where I have trouble. While I do believe in god, I don't feel it's his problem to solve - it's mine. How does one go about gathering the power to accept that which I cannot change? J

    "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

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    Tom Archer
    wrote on last edited by
    #24

    The point of the Serenity Prayer is that there is a higher power that made you who you are (regardless of what you call that higher power) and that you are not asking it to solve your problems for you - the key words in that prayer or "grant me the serenty, the courage and the wisdom". Nowhere does it state that the higher power will be doing anything other than enabling you to take care of your own situations. Cheers, Tom Archer, Inside C# Mainstream is just a word for the way things always have been -- just a middle-of-the-road, tow-the-line thing; a front for the Man serving up the same warmed-over slop he did yesterday and expecting you to say, "Thank you sir, may I have another?"

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    • J Jamie Hale

      Anyone else here suffer from this? What do you do to cope? J

      "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

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      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #25

      Jamie Hale wrote: What do you do to cope? Once when a wiser older co-worker and myself stumbled upon a screwed up jumble of poorly engineered equipment that we had to fix, I started ranting and raving about it and generally getting all pissed off, he said: "At 80 feet long and weighing over 100 tons the Blue whale is the largest mammal to ever inhabit the earth, yet it's throat opening is no bigger around than yours or mine. There's nothing the whale can do about it. So stop screaming about what 'should be' and hand me a damn wrench." 'nuff said.


      Work like you don't need the money.
      Love like you've never been hurt.
      Dance like nobody's watching.

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      • P Paul Lyons

        Jamie, While I don't consider myself to be a religous person... I learned the serenity prayer attending Alateen[^] as a teenager. The key here is to continually remind yourself that there is only so much in life that you have direct control over. Anyway, the real reason for the reply is to ask if you've ever been screened for depression[^]? (I don't mean to imply anything. Just a thought.) I too had the same problem! Long story short, Major Depression can manifest itself in many ways... I am proof the there is better living through chemicals :laugh:. p.s. Alice's Resturant -> There's a blast from the past :-O Man, I'm getting old!

        Paul Lyons, CCPL
        Certified Code Project Lurker


        What a long strange trip it's been - Robert Hunter

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        Tom Archer
        wrote on last edited by
        #26

        Coolness Paul. I go to Al-Anon and interpret for the deaf-sober AA meeting. Cheers, Tom Archer, Inside C# Mainstream is just a word for the way things always have been -- just a middle-of-the-road, tow-the-line thing; a front for the Man serving up the same warmed-over slop he did yesterday and expecting you to say, "Thank you sir, may I have another?"

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        • P Paul Lyons

          Ditto! Still on it. :-D

          Paul Lyons, CCPL
          Certified Code Project Lurker


          What a long, strange trip it's been. - Robert Hunter

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          Christopher Duncan
          wrote on last edited by
          #27

          Paul Lyons wrote: What a long, strange trip it's been. - Robert Hunter The Grateful Dead ("Truckin'") Chistopher Duncan Author - The Career Programmer: Guerilla Tactics for an Imperfect World (Apress)

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          • D Daniel Turini

            Jamie Hale wrote: Anyone else here suffer from this? What do you do to cope? Some people use Viagra :-D I had exactly the opposite problem. I was overly confident on myself. And then, I humbly looked for professional help. It worked: now, I'm perfect, almost a god. ORACLE One Real A$#h%le Called Lary Ellison

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            Tom Archer
            wrote on last edited by
            #28

            Um. Glad to see you got over that over-confidence issue :) Actually, for me personally, I find that one my greatest traits is my almost God-like humility and modesty. Hey maybe you and I should start a club or something :cool: Cheers, Tom Archer, Inside C# Mainstream is just a word for the way things always have been -- just a middle-of-the-road, tow-the-line thing; a front for the Man serving up the same warmed-over slop he did yesterday and expecting you to say, "Thank you sir, may I have another?"

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            • L Lost User

              Jamie Hale wrote: What do you do to cope? Once when a wiser older co-worker and myself stumbled upon a screwed up jumble of poorly engineered equipment that we had to fix, I started ranting and raving about it and generally getting all pissed off, he said: "At 80 feet long and weighing over 100 tons the Blue whale is the largest mammal to ever inhabit the earth, yet it's throat opening is no bigger around than yours or mine. There's nothing the whale can do about it. So stop screaming about what 'should be' and hand me a damn wrench." 'nuff said.


              Work like you don't need the money.
              Love like you've never been hurt.
              Dance like nobody's watching.

              T Offline
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              Tom Archer
              wrote on last edited by
              #29

              Definitely stops you in your tracks. Nice one. Cheers, Tom Archer, Inside C# Mainstream is just a word for the way things always have been -- just a middle-of-the-road, tow-the-line thing; a front for the Man serving up the same warmed-over slop he did yesterday and expecting you to say, "Thank you sir, may I have another?"

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              • J Jamie Hale

                Anyone else here suffer from this? What do you do to cope? J

                "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

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                Chris Losinger
                wrote on last edited by
                #30

                Jamie Hale wrote: What do you do to cope? strong drinks long naps staring glassy-eyed into the distance hoping for the end To vote with no response is to follow the way of the coward.

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                • T Tom Archer

                  Definitely stops you in your tracks. Nice one. Cheers, Tom Archer, Inside C# Mainstream is just a word for the way things always have been -- just a middle-of-the-road, tow-the-line thing; a front for the Man serving up the same warmed-over slop he did yesterday and expecting you to say, "Thank you sir, may I have another?"

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                  Tim Smith
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #31

                  Same here. I am stopped dead in my tracks wondering what the point of the statement might be. Given how the whale feeds, he has little need for a larger opening. Then again, I was never much on dime store philosophy. Tim Smith I'm going to patent thought. I have yet to see any prior art.

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                  • J Jamie Hale

                    Anyone else here suffer from this? What do you do to cope? J

                    "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

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                    Marc Clifton
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #32

                    Jamie Hale wrote: Anyone else here suffer from this? No. Jamie Hale wrote: What do you do to cope? Go to the mall and watch the people. Instant low self-esteem cure. :-D Marc Help! I'm an AI running around in someone's f*cked up universe simulator.
                    Sensitivity and ethnic diversity means celebrating difference, not hiding from it. - Christian Graus
                    Every line of code is a liability - Taka Muraoka
                    Microsoft deliberately adds arbitrary layers of complexity to make it difficult to deliver Windows features on non-Windows platforms--Microsoft's "Halloween files"

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                    • J Jamie Hale

                      Anyone else here suffer from this? What do you do to cope? J

                      "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

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                      John M Drescher
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #33

                      I used to for years. Until I learned from women that I am one hell of a catch even though I am not the best looking guy in the world. This will give you confidence and women will notice it. And then what you thought as impossible (finding an attractive woman) becomes easy.... John

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                      • realJSOPR realJSOP

                        I was making sport (that's part of my dry wit). If I was truly concerned about what people thought of me, I wouldn't have provided both questions. You can think what you want and try to over-analize anything I might do, but like everyone else here, you're not qualified to comment on my state of mind, level of self-esteem or anything else like that. So, blow me. :) ------- signature starts "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 Please review the Legal Disclaimer in my bio. ------- signature ends

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                        Jamie Hale
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #34

                        John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: So, blow me. Drop 'em, cutie. J

                        "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

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                        • J Jamie Hale

                          Anyone else here suffer from this? What do you do to cope? J

                          "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

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                          Zachery
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #35

                          You have to wallow in it and thrive off it. I don't consider my self-esteem low, I feel I have an accurate portrayal of myself. But, I find that keeping your esteem low (or realistic) no one can really say anything about you that will get to you too much. I find that if you're true to yourself, say F everyone else's opinion, you'll be good to go. Drugs also help.

                          ..........Zack.......... Developer Extraordinaire && Full Time Geek

                          "Don't go out of your way to step on people's toes, but don't stop walking all-together." GCS\P\SS d- s-:- a-- C++$ U--- P--- L- E- W++ N o K-? w+++ O++ !M-- V PS+ PE Y+ PGP t+ 5+ X+ R++ tv++ b++ DI++ D+++ G+>G++++ e* h- r++ y+

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                          • T Tim Smith

                            Same here. I am stopped dead in my tracks wondering what the point of the statement might be. Given how the whale feeds, he has little need for a larger opening. Then again, I was never much on dime store philosophy. Tim Smith I'm going to patent thought. I have yet to see any prior art.

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                            David Wulff
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #36

                            Tim Smith wrote: Given how the whale feeds, he has little need for a larger opening. It's not for food. :suss: ;)


                            David Wulff

                            "It is a helpless feeling to be unable to make something so terribly wrong... right."

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                            • T Tom Archer

                              The point of the Serenity Prayer is that there is a higher power that made you who you are (regardless of what you call that higher power) and that you are not asking it to solve your problems for you - the key words in that prayer or "grant me the serenty, the courage and the wisdom". Nowhere does it state that the higher power will be doing anything other than enabling you to take care of your own situations. Cheers, Tom Archer, Inside C# Mainstream is just a word for the way things always have been -- just a middle-of-the-road, tow-the-line thing; a front for the Man serving up the same warmed-over slop he did yesterday and expecting you to say, "Thank you sir, may I have another?"

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                              Jamie Hale
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #37

                              Alright. :) I pondered the actual prayer over lunch, and I think within it is some direction for me. Thanks for the input. J

                              "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

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                              • J Jamie Hale

                                John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: So, blow me. Drop 'em, cutie. J

                                "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

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                                Chris Maunder
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #38

                                Thanks for the mental image. There goes the appetite for lunch ;) cheers, Chris Maunder

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                                • J Jamie Hale

                                  Hmmm. Trick is, the implied "God" that precedes that quote is where I have trouble. While I do believe in god, I don't feel it's his problem to solve - it's mine. How does one go about gathering the power to accept that which I cannot change? J

                                  "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

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                                  Chris Maunder
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #39

                                  By putting it in perspective. cheers, Chris Maunder

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                                  • J Jamie Hale

                                    Anyone else here suffer from this? What do you do to cope? J

                                    "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

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                                    Megan Forbes
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #40

                                    I'm pretty sure this is normal for most geekish types :) After 12 years at school knowing very few people with the same interests, it's bound to happen. I'm pretty sure that's why we're all drawn to CP so much - it's a relief to find people we can relate to. I know my body language isn't always "normal", probably due to a poor attempt at hiding shyness. I usually cope with this by making jokes (often out of place). But at the same time, I'm not too bothered if people don't understand me - I like being on my own, it gives me time to think, contemplate and enjoy my own company :) One thing I can suggest, is smile (but not too enthusiastically). Being different from the norm doesn't make someone a nasty person, it just makes them unusual. While I don't mind people misunderstanding me, it would bother me if someone thought I was cruel or uncaring. Don't feel alone :rose: What do you do to cope btw?


                                    To honor you, and your sick games, this smiley ;p will now represent licking chocolate off candy - David Chamberlain

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                                    • D Daniel Turini

                                      Jamie Hale wrote: Anyone else here suffer from this? What do you do to cope? Some people use Viagra :-D I had exactly the opposite problem. I was overly confident on myself. And then, I humbly looked for professional help. It worked: now, I'm perfect, almost a god. ORACLE One Real A$#h%le Called Lary Ellison

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                                      Gary Wheeler
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #41

                                      Daniel, meet John. John, this is Daniel. You two have a lot in common. :rolleyes:


                                      Software Zen: delete this;

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                                      • J Jeremy Falcon

                                        Identify your insecurities and then get rid of them. Me, I used to fat, and I was insecure about it. Well, I lost the fat! Seems simple, but few rarely do it. It's liberating actually. Jeremy Falcon

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                                        Jamie Hale
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #42

                                        I believe this is part of my problem. I'm not sure what my insecurities are. I've been trying to figure it out, but when I look back at my life, I can identify times very early on where I've lashed out or tried to overcompensate for a lack of confidence. To me, this means I've been dealing with this stuff for a bunch of years. One completely vain possibility is that I feel I've been alienated most my life because I'm a red-head. I'm sure it's a self-imposed feeling of alienation, but real nonetheless. And simply dying my hair isn't going to accomplish anything. :) J

                                        "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

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                                        • J Jamie Hale

                                          Anyone else here suffer from this? What do you do to cope? J

                                          "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

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                                          S Offline
                                          Stan Shannon
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #43

                                          Over my lifetime I have observed that people with low self esteem are usually right.;)

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