Worst Joke Wednesday
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I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Wiped his butt. Q: What is the difference between a nun and a women taking a bath? A: A nun has hope in her soul --- This one is from Reader's Digest: An egg, a piece of toast, and two pieces of bacon walk into a bar to order some drinks. The egg says "Bartender, a round of drinks for me and my friends." Bartender looks over and says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
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Classics: Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug? A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back. Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator? A: There's a footprint in the mayo. Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator? A: There's two footprints in the mayo. Q: How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator? A: The door won't shut. Q: How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator? A: There's a VW Bug in your driveway. Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet? A: To stamp out forest fires. Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet? A: To stamp out flaming ducks.
Shog9
drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds...
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence... A: It's time to get a new fence! 'til next we type... HAVE FUN! -- Jesse
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I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
Q: What do you call a blind deer. A: No idea... Q: Okay then, what do you call a blind deer with no legs. A: Still no idea.... Okay.. you did ask for bad jokes! My world tour What I do now.. "I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" George Best. "I suppose if it was a choice between bon jovi and the interior of a car, the car would win, even it didnt have a radio and I had to sit in silence" James Simpson on Light Metal.
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I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
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Q. Why don't blind people skydive? A. Because it scares the crap out of their dogs. And I just love... Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick. J
"You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."
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Q. What if he's under your car? A. Jack Hey don't worry, I can handle it. I took something. I can see things no one else can see. Why are you dressed like that? - Jack Burton
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Q. Why don't blind people skydive? A. Because it scares the crap out of their dogs. And I just love... Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick. J
"You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."
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Confucious say: He who live in glass house, dress in basement. "When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity." - Albert Einstein
Confucious say: Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Jon Sagara
A bottle a night isn't alcoholism - it's persistence! -- A coworker, jokingly -
Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs buried in the sand? A. Doug Q. What if he's water skiing? A. Skip Q. What if he's floating in the water? A. Bob Q. What if he's standing outside your front door? A. Matt
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.Hanging on a wall? Art. Two guys hanging above a window? Curt and Rod. --Mike-- "So where does that leave us? Well, it leaves us right back where we started, only more confused than before." -- Matt Gullett Ericahist | Homepage | RightClick-Encrypt | 1ClickPicGrabber
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Of course, you need to follow that with: Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: Take your foot off its head.
Shog9
drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds...
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Classics: Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug? A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back. Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator? A: There's a footprint in the mayo. Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator? A: There's two footprints in the mayo. Q: How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator? A: The door won't shut. Q: How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator? A: There's a VW Bug in your driveway. Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet? A: To stamp out forest fires. Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet? A: To stamp out flaming ducks.
Shog9
drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds...
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Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs buried in the sand? A. Doug Q. What if he's water skiing? A. Skip Q. What if he's floating in the water? A. Bob Q. What if he's standing outside your front door? A. Matt
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching. -
I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
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Or better yet: Q. What's red, two feet tall, and can't turn around in a hallway? A. A baby with a javellin through its head. :rolleyes: - Nitron
"Those that say a task is impossible shouldn't interrupt the ones who are doing it." - Chinese Proverb
Q. What's green and red and goes round and round and round A. A frog in a blender. cheers, Chris Maunder
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I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
Fortune cookie say: People who live in glass houses shouldn't do housework in the nude Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" Two sausages are lying in a frying pan. The first sausage says to the other, "Boy it sure is hot in here, eh buddy." The second sausage says, "HOLY CRAP A TALKING SAUSAGE!!" Answer: Pass the hat. Question: What does a cannibal do 6 hours after he eats Minnie Pearl? Answer: French toast. Question: What does a lonely pastry chef do? --Mike-- "So where does that leave us? Well, it leaves us right back where we started, only more confused than before." -- Matt Gullett Ericahist | Homepage | RightClick-Encrypt | 1ClickPicGrabber
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I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
dirty ----- Q. Do you know the difference between camping and dirty, dirty sex? A. No Q. Do you want to go camping? ;) nonsense but very old ---------------------- Q. Whats the difference between a duck? A. Both of its legs are twice the same. :confused:
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Q. What's green and red and goes round and round and round A. A frog in a blender. cheers, Chris Maunder
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Of course, you need to follow that with: Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: Take your foot off its head.
Shog9
drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds...
How utterly sickening! Moving on... Q: What's the only thing worse than finding 5 dead babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 dead baby in 5 trash cans.
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Q. What goes "aaaa"? A. A sheep without lips. Regards, Brian Dela :-)
Just what have you been doing to the poor sheep? Neil Van Eps "Standard deviation not enough for perverted statistician" - Headline from the Onion June 25 2003
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Classics: Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug? A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back. Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator? A: There's a footprint in the mayo. Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator? A: There's two footprints in the mayo. Q: How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator? A: The door won't shut. Q: How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator? A: There's a VW Bug in your driveway. Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet? A: To stamp out forest fires. Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet? A: To stamp out flaming ducks.
Shog9
drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds...
Shog9 wrote: Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet? A: To stamp out forest fires. Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet? A: To stamp out flaming ducks. Excellent, I've always loved those jokes. My personal favourites from when I was a kid are the following: Q: How does an elephant get up a tree? A: Stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow! Q: How does an elephant get down from a tree? A1: Stands on a leaf, and waits for autumn A2: It can't it gets it from ducks.