Befriending at new workplace
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Depends on a whole load of things: there is no "one solution" that fits everybody and every company. Suggest a drink after work? Doesn't have to be a "get drunk" session - a quiet beer or two off premises can lower barriers and make it easier to talk about non-work stuff. Take money, expect to buy a round!
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india
Bring some snacks for a first month anniversary and bring them to your colleagues. (Especially as you have a different background you can introduce them to some new food stuff?)
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whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india
I'm quiet and introverted as well, although I can be a bit more outgoing at work. What works for me is to just listen in on conversations and just mingle as soon as I get a chance. Like last week, two people I didn't know yet talked about buying a new monitor and backing up to OneDrive. I bought two new monitors last year so I just chimed in and said "I can really recommend..., I bought two last year and they work great and the price is good for the quality you get." From there the conversation went to OneDrive, which I also planned to use. Other times, like when the conversation is about sports, I just keep quiet, unless people ask me if I'm into sports, at which point I answer them I'm completely totally not into sports. What may help too is arriving at the office and just starting a random conversation by just throwing something out there... "Commute today was crazy, there was this guy who..." or "Who saw that documentary on TV last night?" Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but people will know who you are and they'll be more inclined to start a conversation with you. Another good strategy is just standing up at around lunch time and asking, in general, "So who's going out to lunch?" Maybe it's no one, maybe you make some new friends. Good luck with your new job and with making some friends! :)
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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OriginalGriff wrote:
Suggest a drink after work?
May not work in Malaysia,as most people follow Islam, but going out to eat together can be an option.
A drink doesn't have to be alcoholic, you might go out to have a tea or a coffee.
M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india
Just don't try to impress anyone at the beginning. For a while just be an interested listener asking questions about what they say, showing them you respect their opinion and want to know more about them. Don't overtake conversations and wait patient until they ask you. That should be easier for you, than starting any kind of conversation if you are not enough confident yet. After some time, you will (hopefully) be at least 90% sure, who is worth to hear / interact with and who is just telling BS and better to be avoided. Which already is a very useful information.
M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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OriginalGriff wrote:
Suggest a drink after work?
May not work in Malaysia,as most people follow Islam, but going out to eat together can be an option.
I recently read many Muslims drink alcohol. Some groups just drink it because why not. But it seems many Muslims have a long tradition with wine and still drink it. Sometimes because there are just a lot of grapes in the area, other times even for religious reasons, blood of Christ and all that. And the younger generation doesn't mind the strict rules all that much. But those that don't drink alcohol, for whatever reason, can drink something else. Personally, as an atheist, I'd prefer an Ice Tea ;)
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india
When I first get to a job, I observe others. I try to find out who is congregating with whom, and I also look at company calendars for employee events. When I first get somewhere, I'll sign on to some of the events, like an employee pot luck or beer and pizza fridays or whatever if they're available - any sort of social event where mingling with other employees is expected. That takes some of the pressure off of approaching people. Otherwise, I just sniff people out. Usually, I'm on a team with others, and I start there. Get into likes and dislikes. Ask people what music they like to code to, that sort of thing. Also, if a boss sees you "fitting in", they're less likely to single you out.
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
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I recently read many Muslims drink alcohol. Some groups just drink it because why not. But it seems many Muslims have a long tradition with wine and still drink it. Sometimes because there are just a lot of grapes in the area, other times even for religious reasons, blood of Christ and all that. And the younger generation doesn't mind the strict rules all that much. But those that don't drink alcohol, for whatever reason, can drink something else. Personally, as an atheist, I'd prefer an Ice Tea ;)
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
I prefer whatever I have brewing and fermenting in my cauldron that day.
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
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Just don't try to impress anyone at the beginning. For a while just be an interested listener asking questions about what they say, showing them you respect their opinion and want to know more about them. Don't overtake conversations and wait patient until they ask you. That should be easier for you, than starting any kind of conversation if you are not enough confident yet. After some time, you will (hopefully) be at least 90% sure, who is worth to hear / interact with and who is just telling BS and better to be avoided. Which already is a very useful information.
M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
"listen" always good advice! +1
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
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I'm quiet and introverted as well, although I can be a bit more outgoing at work. What works for me is to just listen in on conversations and just mingle as soon as I get a chance. Like last week, two people I didn't know yet talked about buying a new monitor and backing up to OneDrive. I bought two new monitors last year so I just chimed in and said "I can really recommend..., I bought two last year and they work great and the price is good for the quality you get." From there the conversation went to OneDrive, which I also planned to use. Other times, like when the conversation is about sports, I just keep quiet, unless people ask me if I'm into sports, at which point I answer them I'm completely totally not into sports. What may help too is arriving at the office and just starting a random conversation by just throwing something out there... "Commute today was crazy, there was this guy who..." or "Who saw that documentary on TV last night?" Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but people will know who you are and they'll be more inclined to start a conversation with you. Another good strategy is just standing up at around lunch time and asking, in general, "So who's going out to lunch?" Maybe it's no one, maybe you make some new friends. Good luck with your new job and with making some friends! :)
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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I prefer whatever I have brewing and fermenting in my cauldron that day.
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
Little kids and puppies? (it's only sad because of the puppies) :D
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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Little kids and puppies? (it's only sad because of the puppies) :D
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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When all else fails, take hostages
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
And put them in that cauldron :D
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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puppies grow into dogs. I'm sparing them that fate.
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
Man's best friend, of course you wouldn't know that being a woman and all ;)
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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A drink doesn't have to be alcoholic, you might go out to have a tea or a coffee.
M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
I agree with you here but, OG was implying that. I am also aware of the fact that many people who follow Islam don't necessarily follow the no drinks suit, however assuming that they do is still a safer option, especially if you're new. I am of the belief, that having a few drinks together is one of the best ways to befriend someone, along with offering helping hand.
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I recently read many Muslims drink alcohol. Some groups just drink it because why not. But it seems many Muslims have a long tradition with wine and still drink it. Sometimes because there are just a lot of grapes in the area, other times even for religious reasons, blood of Christ and all that. And the younger generation doesn't mind the strict rules all that much. But those that don't drink alcohol, for whatever reason, can drink something else. Personally, as an atheist, I'd prefer an Ice Tea ;)
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india
Some offices do have a buddy system, where your buddy will make you easily acclimatise to the new surroundings. In fact, I was a buddy for a new employee, and helped him around the office. With a boss, the best thing is to set the expectations straight in the beginning itself - like 'Can you please specify what all is expected out of me', or 'Can you please specify how I can contribute more to the office in the short and long terms'.
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Little kids and puppies? (it's only sad because of the puppies) :D
Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
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whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Wikipedia[^] It works. Bottom line is, take a sincere interest in other people.
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whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india
Member 14169933 wrote:
my boss thinks that I am just sitting around
1. Do you have tasks assigned to you (bug fix, maintenance, new code, doc like specs and requirements...) ? If no, go see your boss for things to do. 2. Are you progressing on those tasks, Do you keep time in an official manner (online , offline) ? so you have issue trackers (for example, jira) 2. Are you reporting your progress to anyone, have you shown your boss what you do ? do you commit code, do you demo what you are working on ?
I'd rather be phishing!
