How do you cope?
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David Stone wrote:
Christians believe that Christianity is the only way to heaven. So why wouldn't they try to share that with people?
Yep, I understand why it's done. I just wish it was done a little less forcibly.
David Stone wrote:
I know. It sucks. As a Christian, I have many issues with how other Christians represent this faith in modern culture. They make the rest of us look bad. I don't go around forcing my religion down other people's throats.
Yes - you definitely don't In fact, to be honest, until today, I thought you'd be an atheist :-)
David Stone wrote:
And if someone isn't interested, I'm not going to try to talk to them.
They should all learn from you I say! :-) Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New)Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
They should all learn from you I say!
I guess you have to temper Christians just like everything else. Some people use Linux and it's just a tool, other people have to convert the world to Linux. Some people enjoy watching a sport and others get consumed by the sport and start fights in the stands and other craziness. David and I know what we believe. It will never be taken from us. It's written upon us. However, he and I both are able to pick the context for discussing it (and almost every believer I know is). You won't see me with the fish all over my car, wearing funky bracelets or holding signs. I won't even wear a cross. If you cannot tell what I believe by how I act then I'm not living in a way that is consistent with how I believe and what I've read. It's that simple for me. Even now, you are not asking David and I to share a single thing with you about what we believe and neither of us will. The context isn't right. Both David and I think that if you want to ask questions of either of us you'll probably find email a better way to go. We don't need to rub anything in your face because both of us agree we'd hate someone rubbing it in ours. So instead, while in the lounge we do what other loungers do. Talk about mostly tech-related things and enjoy hanging out with our peers.:)
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Jeremy Falcon wrote:
Never once did I say that. Maybe you should stop assuming.
I'm not assuming. I read it. You said: "I find that focusing on other stuff is the only way to deal with it." i.e. Emotionally avoid the tragedy.
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
Read the whole post if it's not too much to ask.
Again I did. Programming is not a healthy way to deal with loss and your advice is very poor.
espeir wrote:
Emotionally avoid the tragedy.
That's your interpretation of it which is wrong. It's not referring to the particular incident at all, but general advice for years later. I know you think you're always right, so why bother explaining the simple stuff. And I'm sure you know what I meant better than I did.
espeir wrote:
Again I did. Programming is not a healthy way to deal with loss and your advice is very poor.
The only thing that's poor here is your comprehension. Jeremy Falcon
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It's amazing to think how awesome the human body really is. It's so resilient. It's meant to move, but most people don't and they don't eat nutritiously. Try running a car for 80+ years without oil, it just won't happen. Jeremy Falcon
Wanna talk about faith? I think you are taking your life in your own hands by eating so much of the junk out their today. It takes *real* faith to eat at McDonald's as that stuff really could kill you.:-D
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
until today, I thought you'd be an atheist
Wow. Never had that response. ;P I'm just not very vocal about Christianity. There are far smarter men than myself who have said more about it in a more eloquent way than I ever could. If people ask me about it, I'll start talking with them, but I'm not going to start carrying around "Jesus is coming" on a sandwich board in public. :rolleyes:
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man? -
Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89. He was stricken with Parkinsons and a whole host of other ailments that seem to come along when you get 80+ years old. His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting the names of his children and close friends. It was the first time I ever saw someone dying right in front of me. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I hate the sight of seeing him in pain. I hate that my final memories are of him in this fragile state. I've always had difficulty accepting death. The idea of "just accept it and move on" seems to never provide me any comfort. When I think about my death or the death of my loved ones, my entire body reacts making my knees weak, heart race, and all of my thoughts are consumed with trying to find resolve. How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable? Jim RunFatBoy.net[^] - Exercise for the rest of us.
AAntix wrote:
How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable?
As fire is put out by water, so grief of death is put out by life. Living your life is the best way to cope with grief. If you are afraid of living, grief will stay with you. Living, and living well, honors the lives that came before us. Believe, and make a difference. As others have said, it is innevitable. My grandfather died a few years back and it hurt, that is grief; he was the only father I ever knew. I am very much like him, so his life's teachings live on in my life. I try to live it the best that I can. Especially since I will not be passing the torch onward. I will try to make as much of a difference in this life as I can. Grief is a process, and the time is different for all. Ignore anyone who says you have to stop grieving in 4 days and move on. Grief just "is," time is relative to you and you only. However, if you feel you are stuck in an endless loop of feelings then you may need some help. Google "grief timeline" or "grief process" and you will find a lot of dry reading, but if you need the acceptance of your own feelings, do so. My condolences on your loss. _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb) -- modified at 14:59 Tuesday 27th June, 2006
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Oh come on... That's not physical impedence. That's just a coefficient of static friction, a constant of gravity and a small result of any wind present. I exclude those because... I live in a vacuum.:-D
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
code-frog wrote:
I live in a vacuum.
oh... that's right... you have kids.... ;P _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
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You're clearly not too bright.
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code-frog wrote:
I live in a vacuum.
oh... that's right... you have kids.... ;P _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
No... I think it's them that have me... by the neck.
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
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Wanna talk about faith? I think you are taking your life in your own hands by eating so much of the junk out their today. It takes *real* faith to eat at McDonald's as that stuff really could kill you.:-D
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
code-frog wrote:
It takes *real* faith to eat at McDonald's as that stuff really could kill you.
Touché! :laugh: Jeremy Falcon
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No... I think it's them that have me... by the neck.
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
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Do you know if they have nachos in Hell? I hope so, it would suck to go sans nacho for the rest of eternity. I mean, Satan must have some kickin' hot salsa, right? He probably has salsa that's hotter than Hell!! :-D
Josh Smith wrote:
He probably has salsa that's hotter than Hell!!
That's my cooking bracket!!! _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
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I think most people Jesus was a man and he did once live, it's just that it's hard for some to swallow what he supposedly did. Firstly, the gospels were written long after Jesus lived--we're talking a couple hundred years. It's hard to take it as a historical non-fiction piece when looked at it in that light. If that's what you believe, that's fine with me. If people find comfort in the idea that there are aliens and flying pigs, I don't care. I just want people to be happy. Non-Christians get upset when the extreme Christians basically say, "Believe this or you will die and go to hell." Even that I find funny because of the different sects of Christianity (Catholic versus non-Catholic).
leckey wrote:
irstly, the gospels were written long after Jesus lived--we're talking a couple hundred years. It's hard to take it as a historical non-fiction piece when looked at it in that light.
The gospels were written shortly after Jesus' death (within a couple of decades). They were compiled a couple hundred years later into what is now the accepted New Testament. This was done in order to exclude false works (like the Gospel of Judas) that were written by the gnostics during early Christianity. This isn't a matter of faith but of documented and accepted history (by both secular and religious historians).
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Wrong time, wrong place.
Um, same to you. At least David was showing a sense of humor.
I can imagine the sinking feeling one would have after ordering my book, only to find a laughably ridiculous theory with demented logic once the book arrives - Mark McCutcheon
-- modified at 15:16 Tuesday 27th June, 2006
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leckey wrote:
irstly, the gospels were written long after Jesus lived--we're talking a couple hundred years. It's hard to take it as a historical non-fiction piece when looked at it in that light.
The gospels were written shortly after Jesus' death (within a couple of decades). They were compiled a couple hundred years later into what is now the accepted New Testament. This was done in order to exclude false works (like the Gospel of Judas) that were written by the gnostics during early Christianity. This isn't a matter of faith but of documented and accepted history (by both secular and religious historians).
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code-frog wrote:
In fact you just created division over someone trying to show kindness and support.
Hey Rex, This is part of what that guy said :- You need to find out what it means to accept Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. There is no hope otherwise. That last sentence about non-Jesusites having no hope was totally uncalled for! I thought it particularly selfish that he was trying to take advantage of someone's misery to preach his religious beliefs. Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New)Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
I thought it particularly selfish that he was trying to take advantage of someone's misery to preach his religious beliefs.
If i recall (and i should, having just started reading this thread), the OP asked us how we cope. If Steve cares to share the hope he's found, i don't see how that was inappropriate...
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No... I think it's them that have me... by the neck.
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
code-frog wrote:
it's them that have me... by the neck.
ahhh, but you know it has its rewards too. Even I can remember a twinkle in the eyes of my ex's kids that made it all worthwhile. I doubt anything I tought remains, but it was worth the effort regardless. The rest they will have to discover the hard way now. _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
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brianwelsch wrote:
That's why it's called faith.
Faith is an excuse for ignorance. Jeremy Falcon
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
Faith is an excuse for ignorance.
So are Television, poverty, and your local newspaper. The problem isn't the excuses, it's the people who use them...
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I lost my mother when I was 14. My dad died when I was 21. I actually had to fill in the box "orphan" on my student loan application the following fall. Being almost 30, I have lived half my life without my mother and a fourth without my father. My life is sectioned this way. I feel that I was one person when mom was alive, another when it was just dad, and now I am who I am without them. Does it get better with time? Yes and no. I still cry like a little kid sometimes screaming "I want my mommy." There are moments when it will hit you like a mac truck. Your grandpa had a good life and had family who cared about him. Having someone love you is a wonderful thing. I find some comfort in my religion and talk to G-d about it, and sometimes I have imaginary conversations with my parents. That's how I deal with it. But I know there will always be times when I will crack and bawl. And you know what? I've learned that it's okay, because ignoring the feelings make it much worse. After my dad died I got horribly depressed. My doctor put me on anti-depressants and I'm still on them. I really encourage you that if time goes by you feel depressed (and yes there is a difference between depression and sadness) to please see your doctor. Don't get to the point I did. My best wishes and prayers for you and your family. We are all giving you a big virtual hug.
leckey wrote:
I lost my mother when I was 14. My dad died when I was 21.
Ouch, both parents is not an easy thing to deal with. I never lost mine to death, but I lost my father at 4 and my mother at 15 (long story). I'm not sure which is worse, parents dying or parents alive and just don't care about you. Either way, I feel your pain. Jeremy Falcon
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leckey wrote:
I lost my mother when I was 14. My dad died when I was 21.
Ouch, both parents is not an easy thing to deal with. I never lost mine to death, but I lost my father at 4 and my mother at 15 (long story). I'm not sure which is worse, parents dying or parents alive and just don't care about you. Either way, I feel your pain. Jeremy Falcon
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
I'm not sure which is worse
There is no worse, just different. I understand some of it as well. _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
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code-frog wrote:
it's them that have me... by the neck.
ahhh, but you know it has its rewards too. Even I can remember a twinkle in the eyes of my ex's kids that made it all worthwhile. I doubt anything I tought remains, but it was worth the effort regardless. The rest they will have to discover the hard way now. _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
Oh, I guess I meant in a fun way. We were all wrestling last night (Paige the 16 month old to) in the sleeping bags and it was a ragingly loud good time. I'm not sure others will agree but to me there are *only* rewards with kids. Yeah they will live their own lives and you just have to respect (as their parents) the choices they make. As a kid you wanted and exercised the same freedom so I don't begrudge it of them. There's only rewards in my book.:rose:
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)