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  3. How to write unmaintainable code and keep your job for life

How to write unmaintainable code and keep your job for life

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  • J John M Drescher

    That's a gem thanks. I love the part about writing comments only for the trivial parts..

    John

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    Joe Woodbury
    wrote on last edited by
    #3

    One of the funniest things is to run across trivial comments that are wrong!

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    • N Nemanja Trifunovic

      This made me laugh today[^]. My favorite part: Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable. Plus, it lets you add secret conventions — and lots of them, sometimes contradictory ones — that will trip up even the most experienced maintainer. Your framework will take care of everything. No one should bother understanding it; they should be happy you’re single-handedly making development easier and more productive for the whole company. Never release the framework as open source, because the framework is an asset to the company, and the open source community will poke fun at you, and that could be the end of your bluff.

      utf8-cpp

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      Chris Losinger
      wrote on last edited by
      #4

      sounds like he and i have worked with the same handful of developers. small world.

      image processing toolkits | batch image processing

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      • N Nemanja Trifunovic

        This made me laugh today[^]. My favorite part: Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable. Plus, it lets you add secret conventions — and lots of them, sometimes contradictory ones — that will trip up even the most experienced maintainer. Your framework will take care of everything. No one should bother understanding it; they should be happy you’re single-handedly making development easier and more productive for the whole company. Never release the framework as open source, because the framework is an asset to the company, and the open source community will poke fun at you, and that could be the end of your bluff.

        utf8-cpp

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        Marc Clifton
        wrote on last edited by
        #5

        Nemanja Trifunovic wrote:

        Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable

        Hey! I resemble that remark! :~ Marc

        Will work for food. Interacx

        I'm not overthinking the problem, I just felt like I needed a small, unimportant, uninteresting rant! - Martin Hart Turner

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        • M Marc Clifton

          Nemanja Trifunovic wrote:

          Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable

          Hey! I resemble that remark! :~ Marc

          Will work for food. Interacx

          I'm not overthinking the problem, I just felt like I needed a small, unimportant, uninteresting rant! - Martin Hart Turner

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          J Offline
          Jorgen Sigvardsson
          wrote on last edited by
          #6

          Inter*cough*? ;)

          -- Kein Mitleid Für Die Mehrheit

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          • J Jorgen Sigvardsson

            Inter*cough*? ;)

            -- Kein Mitleid Für Die Mehrheit

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            Marc Clifton
            wrote on last edited by
            #7

            Jörgen Sigvardsson wrote:

            Inter*cough*?

            :-D And others too. I seem to have a pension for frameworks! Marc

            Will work for food. Interacx

            I'm not overthinking the problem, I just felt like I needed a small, unimportant, uninteresting rant! - Martin Hart Turner

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            • M Marc Clifton

              Jörgen Sigvardsson wrote:

              Inter*cough*?

              :-D And others too. I seem to have a pension for frameworks! Marc

              Will work for food. Interacx

              I'm not overthinking the problem, I just felt like I needed a small, unimportant, uninteresting rant! - Martin Hart Turner

              P Offline
              P Offline
              Pete OHanlon
              wrote on last edited by
              #8

              I have a penchant for them, and they are your pension????

              "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

              As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

              My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

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              • P Pete OHanlon

                I have a penchant for them, and they are your pension????

                "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

                As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

                My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                M Offline
                M Offline
                Marc Clifton
                wrote on last edited by
                #9

                Pete O'Hanlon wrote:

                I have a penchant for them, and they are your pension????

                You know, I KNEW there something wrong with that word, but I couldn't figure out what. Thanks! Now I know what word I meant to use! Marc

                Will work for food. Interacx

                I'm not overthinking the problem, I just felt like I needed a small, unimportant, uninteresting rant! - Martin Hart Turner

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                • N Nemanja Trifunovic

                  This made me laugh today[^]. My favorite part: Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable. Plus, it lets you add secret conventions — and lots of them, sometimes contradictory ones — that will trip up even the most experienced maintainer. Your framework will take care of everything. No one should bother understanding it; they should be happy you’re single-handedly making development easier and more productive for the whole company. Never release the framework as open source, because the framework is an asset to the company, and the open source community will poke fun at you, and that could be the end of your bluff.

                  utf8-cpp

                  S Offline
                  S Offline
                  Single Step Debugger
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #10

                  So that's why Yahoo is going under - sounds logical. BTW, this guy has scene of humor and he definitely has had some hard time in Yahoo.

                  The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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                  • J Joe Woodbury

                    One of the funniest things is to run across trivial comments that are wrong!

                    T Offline
                    T Offline
                    the Kris
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #11

                    // This is the first message

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                    • N Nemanja Trifunovic

                      This made me laugh today[^]. My favorite part: Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable. Plus, it lets you add secret conventions — and lots of them, sometimes contradictory ones — that will trip up even the most experienced maintainer. Your framework will take care of everything. No one should bother understanding it; they should be happy you’re single-handedly making development easier and more productive for the whole company. Never release the framework as open source, because the framework is an asset to the company, and the open source community will poke fun at you, and that could be the end of your bluff.

                      utf8-cpp

                      D Offline
                      D Offline
                      Delphi4ever
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #12

                      It can be done much simpler: Just don't document anything ever. Claim it is a waste of time. When the junior programmers come to ask about something, rant endlessly about the CPU flags or just say that you are buisy. "The documentation is the code". X| Yes, I am bitter!

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                      • D Delphi4ever

                        It can be done much simpler: Just don't document anything ever. Claim it is a waste of time. When the junior programmers come to ask about something, rant endlessly about the CPU flags or just say that you are buisy. "The documentation is the code". X| Yes, I am bitter!

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                        Daniel Vaughan
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #13

                        I hear ya.

                        Daniel Vaughan Follow me on Twitter Blog: DanielVaughan.Orpius.com Open Source Projects: Calcium SDK, Clog Organization: Outcoder of PebbleAge

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                        • N Nemanja Trifunovic

                          This made me laugh today[^]. My favorite part: Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable. Plus, it lets you add secret conventions — and lots of them, sometimes contradictory ones — that will trip up even the most experienced maintainer. Your framework will take care of everything. No one should bother understanding it; they should be happy you’re single-handedly making development easier and more productive for the whole company. Never release the framework as open source, because the framework is an asset to the company, and the open source community will poke fun at you, and that could be the end of your bluff.

                          utf8-cpp

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                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #14

                          lol.......thats make me laugh a lot :laugh: in this agile world here, its tough :( but it is helpful in long run :laugh: , when you grow old and senior

                          Ravie Busie Coding is my birth-right and bugs are part of feature my code has!

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                          • N Nemanja Trifunovic

                            This made me laugh today[^]. My favorite part: Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable. Plus, it lets you add secret conventions — and lots of them, sometimes contradictory ones — that will trip up even the most experienced maintainer. Your framework will take care of everything. No one should bother understanding it; they should be happy you’re single-handedly making development easier and more productive for the whole company. Never release the framework as open source, because the framework is an asset to the company, and the open source community will poke fun at you, and that could be the end of your bluff.

                            utf8-cpp

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                            W Offline
                            WPKF
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #15

                            Nemanja Trifunovic wrote:

                            Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable.

                            Oh! I am doing that in my job so I am have job secured already?! :)

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                            • N Nemanja Trifunovic

                              This made me laugh today[^]. My favorite part: Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable. Plus, it lets you add secret conventions — and lots of them, sometimes contradictory ones — that will trip up even the most experienced maintainer. Your framework will take care of everything. No one should bother understanding it; they should be happy you’re single-handedly making development easier and more productive for the whole company. Never release the framework as open source, because the framework is an asset to the company, and the open source community will poke fun at you, and that could be the end of your bluff.

                              utf8-cpp

                              B Offline
                              B Offline
                              BrainiacV
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #16

                              Hahahaha...reminds me of places I've worked. At one shop a programmer used Disney characters as all his label names.

                              BALR 8, GOOFY

                              No comments. Another place the first thing you were told was "Names mean nothing". If this subroutine is named "Print", it may not get around to it.

                              Psychosis at 10 Film at 11

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                              • B BrainiacV

                                Hahahaha...reminds me of places I've worked. At one shop a programmer used Disney characters as all his label names.

                                BALR 8, GOOFY

                                No comments. Another place the first thing you were told was "Names mean nothing". If this subroutine is named "Print", it may not get around to it.

                                Psychosis at 10 Film at 11

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                                ely_bob
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #17

                                I'll admit I like to use cartoon characters for my class names(then I call the variable what the class is)

                                class BugsBunny {...}
                                class other()
                                {
                                BugsBunny PathFinding = new BugsBunny();
                                }

                                if it doesn't make sense... I use the BugsBunny for finding paths

                                FindPath(Point FromHere, Point Albequerque){...}

                                .. But since I will probably be the only person to ever read my code(until I make serious money selling it and need a version 2.0) .. I just find it humerus...(and it is still a work in progress so often the path is wrong ;P )

                                I'd blame it on the Brain farts.. But lets be honest, it really is more like a Methane factory between my ears some days then it is anything else...

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                                • D Delphi4ever

                                  It can be done much simpler: Just don't document anything ever. Claim it is a waste of time. When the junior programmers come to ask about something, rant endlessly about the CPU flags or just say that you are buisy. "The documentation is the code". X| Yes, I am bitter!

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                                  AspDotNetDev
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #18

                                  Haha, it's funny because it's true. I started a wiki at my work because I was tired of the lack of documentation. If they won't do it, you can always get started doing it for them.

                                  [Forum Guidelines]

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                                  • M Marc Clifton

                                    Pete O'Hanlon wrote:

                                    I have a penchant for them, and they are your pension????

                                    You know, I KNEW there something wrong with that word, but I couldn't figure out what. Thanks! Now I know what word I meant to use! Marc

                                    Will work for food. Interacx

                                    I'm not overthinking the problem, I just felt like I needed a small, unimportant, uninteresting rant! - Martin Hart Turner

                                    F Offline
                                    F Offline
                                    Fenshaw
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #19

                                    In context, methinks you used the correct word originally. But that's just me. ;)

                                    "To do is to be." [Descartes] "To be is to do." [Voltaire] "Do be do be do..."[Frank Sinatra]

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