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  3. How to write unmaintainable code and keep your job for life

How to write unmaintainable code and keep your job for life

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  • N Nemanja Trifunovic

    This made me laugh today[^]. My favorite part: Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable. Plus, it lets you add secret conventions — and lots of them, sometimes contradictory ones — that will trip up even the most experienced maintainer. Your framework will take care of everything. No one should bother understanding it; they should be happy you’re single-handedly making development easier and more productive for the whole company. Never release the framework as open source, because the framework is an asset to the company, and the open source community will poke fun at you, and that could be the end of your bluff.

    utf8-cpp

    C Offline
    C Offline
    Chris Losinger
    wrote on last edited by
    #4

    sounds like he and i have worked with the same handful of developers. small world.

    image processing toolkits | batch image processing

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    • N Nemanja Trifunovic

      This made me laugh today[^]. My favorite part: Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable. Plus, it lets you add secret conventions — and lots of them, sometimes contradictory ones — that will trip up even the most experienced maintainer. Your framework will take care of everything. No one should bother understanding it; they should be happy you’re single-handedly making development easier and more productive for the whole company. Never release the framework as open source, because the framework is an asset to the company, and the open source community will poke fun at you, and that could be the end of your bluff.

      utf8-cpp

      M Offline
      M Offline
      Marc Clifton
      wrote on last edited by
      #5

      Nemanja Trifunovic wrote:

      Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable

      Hey! I resemble that remark! :~ Marc

      Will work for food. Interacx

      I'm not overthinking the problem, I just felt like I needed a small, unimportant, uninteresting rant! - Martin Hart Turner

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      • M Marc Clifton

        Nemanja Trifunovic wrote:

        Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable

        Hey! I resemble that remark! :~ Marc

        Will work for food. Interacx

        I'm not overthinking the problem, I just felt like I needed a small, unimportant, uninteresting rant! - Martin Hart Turner

        J Offline
        J Offline
        Jorgen Sigvardsson
        wrote on last edited by
        #6

        Inter*cough*? ;)

        -- Kein Mitleid Für Die Mehrheit

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        • J Jorgen Sigvardsson

          Inter*cough*? ;)

          -- Kein Mitleid Für Die Mehrheit

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          M Offline
          Marc Clifton
          wrote on last edited by
          #7

          Jörgen Sigvardsson wrote:

          Inter*cough*?

          :-D And others too. I seem to have a pension for frameworks! Marc

          Will work for food. Interacx

          I'm not overthinking the problem, I just felt like I needed a small, unimportant, uninteresting rant! - Martin Hart Turner

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          • M Marc Clifton

            Jörgen Sigvardsson wrote:

            Inter*cough*?

            :-D And others too. I seem to have a pension for frameworks! Marc

            Will work for food. Interacx

            I'm not overthinking the problem, I just felt like I needed a small, unimportant, uninteresting rant! - Martin Hart Turner

            P Offline
            P Offline
            Pete OHanlon
            wrote on last edited by
            #8

            I have a penchant for them, and they are your pension????

            "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

            As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

            My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

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            • P Pete OHanlon

              I have a penchant for them, and they are your pension????

              "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

              As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

              My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

              M Offline
              M Offline
              Marc Clifton
              wrote on last edited by
              #9

              Pete O'Hanlon wrote:

              I have a penchant for them, and they are your pension????

              You know, I KNEW there something wrong with that word, but I couldn't figure out what. Thanks! Now I know what word I meant to use! Marc

              Will work for food. Interacx

              I'm not overthinking the problem, I just felt like I needed a small, unimportant, uninteresting rant! - Martin Hart Turner

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              • N Nemanja Trifunovic

                This made me laugh today[^]. My favorite part: Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable. Plus, it lets you add secret conventions — and lots of them, sometimes contradictory ones — that will trip up even the most experienced maintainer. Your framework will take care of everything. No one should bother understanding it; they should be happy you’re single-handedly making development easier and more productive for the whole company. Never release the framework as open source, because the framework is an asset to the company, and the open source community will poke fun at you, and that could be the end of your bluff.

                utf8-cpp

                S Offline
                S Offline
                Single Step Debugger
                wrote on last edited by
                #10

                So that's why Yahoo is going under - sounds logical. BTW, this guy has scene of humor and he definitely has had some hard time in Yahoo.

                The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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                • J Joe Woodbury

                  One of the funniest things is to run across trivial comments that are wrong!

                  T Offline
                  T Offline
                  the Kris
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #11

                  // This is the first message

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                  • N Nemanja Trifunovic

                    This made me laugh today[^]. My favorite part: Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable. Plus, it lets you add secret conventions — and lots of them, sometimes contradictory ones — that will trip up even the most experienced maintainer. Your framework will take care of everything. No one should bother understanding it; they should be happy you’re single-handedly making development easier and more productive for the whole company. Never release the framework as open source, because the framework is an asset to the company, and the open source community will poke fun at you, and that could be the end of your bluff.

                    utf8-cpp

                    D Offline
                    D Offline
                    Delphi4ever
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #12

                    It can be done much simpler: Just don't document anything ever. Claim it is a waste of time. When the junior programmers come to ask about something, rant endlessly about the CPU flags or just say that you are buisy. "The documentation is the code". X| Yes, I am bitter!

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                    • D Delphi4ever

                      It can be done much simpler: Just don't document anything ever. Claim it is a waste of time. When the junior programmers come to ask about something, rant endlessly about the CPU flags or just say that you are buisy. "The documentation is the code". X| Yes, I am bitter!

                      D Offline
                      D Offline
                      Daniel Vaughan
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #13

                      I hear ya.

                      Daniel Vaughan Follow me on Twitter Blog: DanielVaughan.Orpius.com Open Source Projects: Calcium SDK, Clog Organization: Outcoder of PebbleAge

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                      • N Nemanja Trifunovic

                        This made me laugh today[^]. My favorite part: Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable. Plus, it lets you add secret conventions — and lots of them, sometimes contradictory ones — that will trip up even the most experienced maintainer. Your framework will take care of everything. No one should bother understanding it; they should be happy you’re single-handedly making development easier and more productive for the whole company. Never release the framework as open source, because the framework is an asset to the company, and the open source community will poke fun at you, and that could be the end of your bluff.

                        utf8-cpp

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Lost User
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #14

                        lol.......thats make me laugh a lot :laugh: in this agile world here, its tough :( but it is helpful in long run :laugh: , when you grow old and senior

                        Ravie Busie Coding is my birth-right and bugs are part of feature my code has!

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                        • N Nemanja Trifunovic

                          This made me laugh today[^]. My favorite part: Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable. Plus, it lets you add secret conventions — and lots of them, sometimes contradictory ones — that will trip up even the most experienced maintainer. Your framework will take care of everything. No one should bother understanding it; they should be happy you’re single-handedly making development easier and more productive for the whole company. Never release the framework as open source, because the framework is an asset to the company, and the open source community will poke fun at you, and that could be the end of your bluff.

                          utf8-cpp

                          W Offline
                          W Offline
                          WPKF
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #15

                          Nemanja Trifunovic wrote:

                          Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable.

                          Oh! I am doing that in my job so I am have job secured already?! :)

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                          • N Nemanja Trifunovic

                            This made me laugh today[^]. My favorite part: Build a framework. When you build a framework, you inevitably become “the architect,” and your authority is unquestionable. Plus, it lets you add secret conventions — and lots of them, sometimes contradictory ones — that will trip up even the most experienced maintainer. Your framework will take care of everything. No one should bother understanding it; they should be happy you’re single-handedly making development easier and more productive for the whole company. Never release the framework as open source, because the framework is an asset to the company, and the open source community will poke fun at you, and that could be the end of your bluff.

                            utf8-cpp

                            B Offline
                            B Offline
                            BrainiacV
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #16

                            Hahahaha...reminds me of places I've worked. At one shop a programmer used Disney characters as all his label names.

                            BALR 8, GOOFY

                            No comments. Another place the first thing you were told was "Names mean nothing". If this subroutine is named "Print", it may not get around to it.

                            Psychosis at 10 Film at 11

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                            • B BrainiacV

                              Hahahaha...reminds me of places I've worked. At one shop a programmer used Disney characters as all his label names.

                              BALR 8, GOOFY

                              No comments. Another place the first thing you were told was "Names mean nothing". If this subroutine is named "Print", it may not get around to it.

                              Psychosis at 10 Film at 11

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                              E Offline
                              ely_bob
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #17

                              I'll admit I like to use cartoon characters for my class names(then I call the variable what the class is)

                              class BugsBunny {...}
                              class other()
                              {
                              BugsBunny PathFinding = new BugsBunny();
                              }

                              if it doesn't make sense... I use the BugsBunny for finding paths

                              FindPath(Point FromHere, Point Albequerque){...}

                              .. But since I will probably be the only person to ever read my code(until I make serious money selling it and need a version 2.0) .. I just find it humerus...(and it is still a work in progress so often the path is wrong ;P )

                              I'd blame it on the Brain farts.. But lets be honest, it really is more like a Methane factory between my ears some days then it is anything else...

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                              • D Delphi4ever

                                It can be done much simpler: Just don't document anything ever. Claim it is a waste of time. When the junior programmers come to ask about something, rant endlessly about the CPU flags or just say that you are buisy. "The documentation is the code". X| Yes, I am bitter!

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                                A Offline
                                AspDotNetDev
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #18

                                Haha, it's funny because it's true. I started a wiki at my work because I was tired of the lack of documentation. If they won't do it, you can always get started doing it for them.

                                [Forum Guidelines]

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                                • M Marc Clifton

                                  Pete O'Hanlon wrote:

                                  I have a penchant for them, and they are your pension????

                                  You know, I KNEW there something wrong with that word, but I couldn't figure out what. Thanks! Now I know what word I meant to use! Marc

                                  Will work for food. Interacx

                                  I'm not overthinking the problem, I just felt like I needed a small, unimportant, uninteresting rant! - Martin Hart Turner

                                  F Offline
                                  F Offline
                                  Fenshaw
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #19

                                  In context, methinks you used the correct word originally. But that's just me. ;)

                                  "To do is to be." [Descartes] "To be is to do." [Voltaire] "Do be do be do..."[Frank Sinatra]

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