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Windows jokes

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  • L LloydA111

    WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what happened WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look outside WinErr 012: Window closed - Do not look inside WinErr 013: Unexpected error - Huh ? WinErr 014: Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of. WinErr 018: Unrecoverable error - System destroyed. Buy new one. WinErr 019: User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not! WinErr 01A: OS overwritten - Please reinstall all software. WinErr 01B: Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will suffer a penalty for that. WinErr 01C: Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate. WinErr 01D: System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code. WinErr 01E: Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. WinErr 01F: Reserved for future mistakes of our developers. WinErr 020: Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost. WinErr 042: Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again. WinErr 079: Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue. WinErr 103: Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded. WinErr 678: This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? WinErr 683: Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure. WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available. WinErr 912: Purchase a new copy of Windows today. Old license void. Windows has been deleted.

    realJSOPR Offline
    realJSOPR Offline
    realJSOP
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

    WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive

    This is a list from 1989... I doubt if many of the younger people here even knoiw what DesqView is/was.

    .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
    -----
    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
    -----
    "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

    H D M 3 Replies Last reply
    0
    • L LloydA111

      WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what happened WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look outside WinErr 012: Window closed - Do not look inside WinErr 013: Unexpected error - Huh ? WinErr 014: Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of. WinErr 018: Unrecoverable error - System destroyed. Buy new one. WinErr 019: User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not! WinErr 01A: OS overwritten - Please reinstall all software. WinErr 01B: Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will suffer a penalty for that. WinErr 01C: Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate. WinErr 01D: System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code. WinErr 01E: Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. WinErr 01F: Reserved for future mistakes of our developers. WinErr 020: Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost. WinErr 042: Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again. WinErr 079: Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue. WinErr 103: Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded. WinErr 678: This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? WinErr 683: Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure. WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available. WinErr 912: Purchase a new copy of Windows today. Old license void. Windows has been deleted.

      C Offline
      C Offline
      CPallini
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      ... WinErr FFE: No Error Code Left For Next Error Message. Winerr FFF: Ooops.... :-O :-D

      If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
      This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
      [My articles]

      L 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • realJSOPR realJSOP

        Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

        WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive

        This is a list from 1989... I doubt if many of the younger people here even knoiw what DesqView is/was.

        .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
        -----
        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
        -----
        "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

        H Offline
        H Offline
        hayrob
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        I'm older than you, and I had to look it up!

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • C CPallini

          ... WinErr FFE: No Error Code Left For Next Error Message. Winerr FFF: Ooops.... :-O :-D

          If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
          This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
          [My articles]

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Luc Pattyn
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          WinErr FFF: call GetLastWinErrEx() to obtain additional error code. :)

          Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


          Happy New Year to all.
          We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
          Until then, please insert them manually.


          0 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • realJSOPR realJSOP

            Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

            WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive

            This is a list from 1989... I doubt if many of the younger people here even knoiw what DesqView is/was.

            .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
            -----
            "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
            -----
            "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

            D Offline
            D Offline
            Dan Neely
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available.

            It might've started as a DosErr list in 89, but a computer with >50MB of ram would've been a godly system back then. OTOH given the history of these sort of things I wouldn't've been surprised if it also has a "not enough gigahertz error" as well.

            3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18

            realJSOPR P B 3 Replies Last reply
            0
            • L Luc Pattyn

              WinErr FFF: call GetLastWinErrEx() to obtain additional error code. :)

              Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


              Happy New Year to all.
              We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
              Until then, please insert them manually.


              0 Offline
              0 Offline
              0x3c0
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              WinErr FFF: -Error

              OSDev :)

              C 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • 0 0x3c0

                WinErr FFF: -Error

                OSDev :)

                C Offline
                C Offline
                CPallini
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                WinErr 3C0: User's attempt to rool his own operative system. :)

                If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                [My articles]

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • D Dan Neely

                  WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available.

                  It might've started as a DosErr list in 89, but a computer with >50MB of ram would've been a godly system back then. OTOH given the history of these sort of things I wouldn't've been surprised if it also has a "not enough gigahertz error" as well.

                  3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18

                  P Offline
                  P Offline
                  peterchen
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  heh - I was triggered by the same. The age of the list does not match the amount of memory in any way. (Unless they mixed up memory and disk space)

                  Personally, I love the idea that Raymond spends his nights posting bad regexs to mailing lists under the pseudonym of Jane Smith. He'd be like a super hero, only more nerdy and less useful. [Trevel]
                  | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • D Dan Neely

                    WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available.

                    It might've started as a DosErr list in 89, but a computer with >50MB of ram would've been a godly system back then. OTOH given the history of these sort of things I wouldn't've been surprised if it also has a "not enough gigahertz error" as well.

                    3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18

                    realJSOPR Offline
                    realJSOPR Offline
                    realJSOP
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    Back then, only 640k was usable - the rest was "extended".

                    .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                    -----
                    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                    -----
                    "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

                    P 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • realJSOPR realJSOP

                      Back then, only 640k was usable - the rest was "extended".

                      .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                      -----
                      "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                      -----
                      "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

                      P Offline
                      P Offline
                      peterchen
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      ... or "expanded".

                      Personally, I love the idea that Raymond spends his nights posting bad regexs to mailing lists under the pseudonym of Jane Smith. He'd be like a super hero, only more nerdy and less useful. [Trevel]
                      | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • L LloydA111

                        WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what happened WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look outside WinErr 012: Window closed - Do not look inside WinErr 013: Unexpected error - Huh ? WinErr 014: Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of. WinErr 018: Unrecoverable error - System destroyed. Buy new one. WinErr 019: User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not! WinErr 01A: OS overwritten - Please reinstall all software. WinErr 01B: Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will suffer a penalty for that. WinErr 01C: Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate. WinErr 01D: System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code. WinErr 01E: Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. WinErr 01F: Reserved for future mistakes of our developers. WinErr 020: Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost. WinErr 042: Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again. WinErr 079: Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue. WinErr 103: Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded. WinErr 678: This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? WinErr 683: Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure. WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available. WinErr 912: Purchase a new copy of Windows today. Old license void. Windows has been deleted.

                        R Offline
                        R Offline
                        Rajesh R Subramanian
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #12

                        On an unrelated note, your signature area (the yellow, red and black combo) looks HORRIBLE.

                        “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

                        L 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • R Rajesh R Subramanian

                          On an unrelated note, your signature area (the yellow, red and black combo) looks HORRIBLE.

                          “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          LloydA111
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #13

                          Look better? :)

                          I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                          My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                          L R 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • D Dan Neely

                            WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available.

                            It might've started as a DosErr list in 89, but a computer with >50MB of ram would've been a godly system back then. OTOH given the history of these sort of things I wouldn't've been surprised if it also has a "not enough gigahertz error" as well.

                            3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18

                            B Offline
                            B Offline
                            B rad A
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #14

                            I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive :laugh: and a DVD player!! :-D

                            Q S 2 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • B B rad A

                              I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive :laugh: and a DVD player!! :-D

                              Q Offline
                              Q Offline
                              QuiJohn
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #15

                              B-rad A wrote:

                              I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

                              I once paid $250 for an 80MB drive (note the M) and couldn't believe what a great deal I had found. That's 80 MILLION bytes!! Of course the biggest program I had at the time was King's Quest V weighing in at 10MB or so.


                              He said, "Boy I'm just old and lonely, But thank you for your concern, Here's wishing you a Happy New Year." I wished him one back in return.

                              B realJSOPR 2 Replies Last reply
                              0
                              • B B rad A

                                I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive :laugh: and a DVD player!! :-D

                                S Offline
                                S Offline
                                Single Step Debugger
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #16

                                B-rad A wrote:

                                I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

                                This was my first “real” computer; also including 133 MHz Pentium and 4 Mb of video memory, later upgraded to 16 Mb Voodo 3Dfx because the Quake II emerged! :-D

                                The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • Q QuiJohn

                                  B-rad A wrote:

                                  I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

                                  I once paid $250 for an 80MB drive (note the M) and couldn't believe what a great deal I had found. That's 80 MILLION bytes!! Of course the biggest program I had at the time was King's Quest V weighing in at 10MB or so.


                                  He said, "Boy I'm just old and lonely, But thank you for your concern, Here's wishing you a Happy New Year." I wished him one back in return.

                                  B Offline
                                  B Offline
                                  B rad A
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #17

                                  I can believe it, the whole package for my computer was around $2,000 and it was refurbished, but did also come with a 17 inch monitor

                                  S 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • B B rad A

                                    I can believe it, the whole package for my computer was around $2,000 and it was refurbished, but did also come with a 17 inch monitor

                                    S Offline
                                    S Offline
                                    Single Step Debugger
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #18

                                    Mine/see my previous response/ came with 14’’ monitor but it was bright new and for about $1200.

                                    The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • L LloydA111

                                      Look better? :)

                                      I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                      My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                      L Offline
                                      L Offline
                                      Lost User
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #19

                                      Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                                      Look better?

                                      Only marginally - kill the border all together.

                                      L 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • L Lost User

                                        Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                                        Look better?

                                        Only marginally - kill the border all together.

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        LloydA111
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #20

                                        Better?

                                        I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                        My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                        L L 2 Replies Last reply
                                        0
                                        • L LloydA111

                                          Better?

                                          I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                          My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                          L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          Lost User
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #21

                                          Perfect!

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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