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Windows jokes

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  • R realJSOP

    Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

    WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive

    This is a list from 1989... I doubt if many of the younger people here even knoiw what DesqView is/was.

    .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
    -----
    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
    -----
    "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

    D Offline
    D Offline
    Dan Neely
    wrote on last edited by
    #6

    WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available.

    It might've started as a DosErr list in 89, but a computer with >50MB of ram would've been a godly system back then. OTOH given the history of these sort of things I wouldn't've been surprised if it also has a "not enough gigahertz error" as well.

    3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18

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    • L Luc Pattyn

      WinErr FFF: call GetLastWinErrEx() to obtain additional error code. :)

      Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


      Happy New Year to all.
      We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
      Until then, please insert them manually.


      0 Offline
      0 Offline
      0x3c0
      wrote on last edited by
      #7

      WinErr FFF: -Error

      OSDev :)

      C 1 Reply Last reply
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      • 0 0x3c0

        WinErr FFF: -Error

        OSDev :)

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        C Offline
        CPallini
        wrote on last edited by
        #8

        WinErr 3C0: User's attempt to rool his own operative system. :)

        If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
        This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
        [My articles]

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        • D Dan Neely

          WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available.

          It might've started as a DosErr list in 89, but a computer with >50MB of ram would've been a godly system back then. OTOH given the history of these sort of things I wouldn't've been surprised if it also has a "not enough gigahertz error" as well.

          3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18

          P Offline
          P Offline
          peterchen
          wrote on last edited by
          #9

          heh - I was triggered by the same. The age of the list does not match the amount of memory in any way. (Unless they mixed up memory and disk space)

          Personally, I love the idea that Raymond spends his nights posting bad regexs to mailing lists under the pseudonym of Jane Smith. He'd be like a super hero, only more nerdy and less useful. [Trevel]
          | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • D Dan Neely

            WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available.

            It might've started as a DosErr list in 89, but a computer with >50MB of ram would've been a godly system back then. OTOH given the history of these sort of things I wouldn't've been surprised if it also has a "not enough gigahertz error" as well.

            3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18

            R Offline
            R Offline
            realJSOP
            wrote on last edited by
            #10

            Back then, only 640k was usable - the rest was "extended".

            .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
            -----
            "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
            -----
            "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

            P 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • R realJSOP

              Back then, only 640k was usable - the rest was "extended".

              .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
              -----
              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
              -----
              "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

              P Offline
              P Offline
              peterchen
              wrote on last edited by
              #11

              ... or "expanded".

              Personally, I love the idea that Raymond spends his nights posting bad regexs to mailing lists under the pseudonym of Jane Smith. He'd be like a super hero, only more nerdy and less useful. [Trevel]
              | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server

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              • L LloydA111

                WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what happened WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look outside WinErr 012: Window closed - Do not look inside WinErr 013: Unexpected error - Huh ? WinErr 014: Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of. WinErr 018: Unrecoverable error - System destroyed. Buy new one. WinErr 019: User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not! WinErr 01A: OS overwritten - Please reinstall all software. WinErr 01B: Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will suffer a penalty for that. WinErr 01C: Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate. WinErr 01D: System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code. WinErr 01E: Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. WinErr 01F: Reserved for future mistakes of our developers. WinErr 020: Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost. WinErr 042: Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again. WinErr 079: Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue. WinErr 103: Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded. WinErr 678: This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? WinErr 683: Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure. WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available. WinErr 912: Purchase a new copy of Windows today. Old license void. Windows has been deleted.

                R Offline
                R Offline
                Rajesh R Subramanian
                wrote on last edited by
                #12

                On an unrelated note, your signature area (the yellow, red and black combo) looks HORRIBLE.

                “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

                L 1 Reply Last reply
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                • R Rajesh R Subramanian

                  On an unrelated note, your signature area (the yellow, red and black combo) looks HORRIBLE.

                  “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  LloydA111
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #13

                  Look better? :)

                  I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                  My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                  L R 2 Replies Last reply
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                  • D Dan Neely

                    WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available.

                    It might've started as a DosErr list in 89, but a computer with >50MB of ram would've been a godly system back then. OTOH given the history of these sort of things I wouldn't've been surprised if it also has a "not enough gigahertz error" as well.

                    3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18

                    B Offline
                    B Offline
                    B rad A
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #14

                    I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive :laugh: and a DVD player!! :-D

                    Q S 2 Replies Last reply
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                    • B B rad A

                      I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive :laugh: and a DVD player!! :-D

                      Q Offline
                      Q Offline
                      QuiJohn
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #15

                      B-rad A wrote:

                      I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

                      I once paid $250 for an 80MB drive (note the M) and couldn't believe what a great deal I had found. That's 80 MILLION bytes!! Of course the biggest program I had at the time was King's Quest V weighing in at 10MB or so.


                      He said, "Boy I'm just old and lonely, But thank you for your concern, Here's wishing you a Happy New Year." I wished him one back in return.

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                      • B B rad A

                        I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive :laugh: and a DVD player!! :-D

                        S Offline
                        S Offline
                        Single Step Debugger
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #16

                        B-rad A wrote:

                        I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

                        This was my first “real” computer; also including 133 MHz Pentium and 4 Mb of video memory, later upgraded to 16 Mb Voodo 3Dfx because the Quake II emerged! :-D

                        The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • Q QuiJohn

                          B-rad A wrote:

                          I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

                          I once paid $250 for an 80MB drive (note the M) and couldn't believe what a great deal I had found. That's 80 MILLION bytes!! Of course the biggest program I had at the time was King's Quest V weighing in at 10MB or so.


                          He said, "Boy I'm just old and lonely, But thank you for your concern, Here's wishing you a Happy New Year." I wished him one back in return.

                          B Offline
                          B Offline
                          B rad A
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #17

                          I can believe it, the whole package for my computer was around $2,000 and it was refurbished, but did also come with a 17 inch monitor

                          S 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • B B rad A

                            I can believe it, the whole package for my computer was around $2,000 and it was refurbished, but did also come with a 17 inch monitor

                            S Offline
                            S Offline
                            Single Step Debugger
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #18

                            Mine/see my previous response/ came with 14’’ monitor but it was bright new and for about $1200.

                            The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • L LloydA111

                              Look better? :)

                              I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                              My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #19

                              Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                              Look better?

                              Only marginally - kill the border all together.

                              L 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • L Lost User

                                Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                                Look better?

                                Only marginally - kill the border all together.

                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                LloydA111
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #20

                                Better?

                                I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                L L 2 Replies Last reply
                                0
                                • L LloydA111

                                  Better?

                                  I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                  My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  Lost User
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #21

                                  Perfect!

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • L LloydA111

                                    Better?

                                    I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                    My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                    L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    Luc Pattyn
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #22

                                    Nah. That is boring. All that needed fixing was the color scheme. :)

                                    Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                                    Happy New Year to all.
                                    We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                                    Until then, please insert them manually.


                                    L 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • L LloydA111

                                      WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what happened WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look outside WinErr 012: Window closed - Do not look inside WinErr 013: Unexpected error - Huh ? WinErr 014: Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of. WinErr 018: Unrecoverable error - System destroyed. Buy new one. WinErr 019: User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not! WinErr 01A: OS overwritten - Please reinstall all software. WinErr 01B: Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will suffer a penalty for that. WinErr 01C: Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate. WinErr 01D: System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code. WinErr 01E: Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. WinErr 01F: Reserved for future mistakes of our developers. WinErr 020: Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost. WinErr 042: Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again. WinErr 079: Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue. WinErr 103: Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded. WinErr 678: This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? WinErr 683: Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure. WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available. WinErr 912: Purchase a new copy of Windows today. Old license void. Windows has been deleted.

                                      L Offline
                                      L Offline
                                      Lost User
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #23

                                      Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                                      WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused

                                      Come on, you were waiting ;P

                                      Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

                                      L 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • L Luc Pattyn

                                        Nah. That is boring. All that needed fixing was the color scheme. :)

                                        Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                                        Happy New Year to all.
                                        We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                                        Until then, please insert them manually.


                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        LloydA111
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #24

                                        What about this? :)

                                        I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                        My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                        L T 2 Replies Last reply
                                        0
                                        • L Lost User

                                          Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                                          WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused

                                          Come on, you were waiting ;P

                                          Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

                                          L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          LloydA111
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #25

                                          Haha ;P

                                          I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                          My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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