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Windows jokes

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • B B rad A

    I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive :laugh: and a DVD player!! :-D

    Q Offline
    Q Offline
    QuiJohn
    wrote on last edited by
    #15

    B-rad A wrote:

    I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

    I once paid $250 for an 80MB drive (note the M) and couldn't believe what a great deal I had found. That's 80 MILLION bytes!! Of course the biggest program I had at the time was King's Quest V weighing in at 10MB or so.


    He said, "Boy I'm just old and lonely, But thank you for your concern, Here's wishing you a Happy New Year." I wished him one back in return.

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    • B B rad A

      I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive :laugh: and a DVD player!! :-D

      S Offline
      S Offline
      Single Step Debugger
      wrote on last edited by
      #16

      B-rad A wrote:

      I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

      This was my first “real” computer; also including 133 MHz Pentium and 4 Mb of video memory, later upgraded to 16 Mb Voodo 3Dfx because the Quake II emerged! :-D

      The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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      • Q QuiJohn

        B-rad A wrote:

        I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

        I once paid $250 for an 80MB drive (note the M) and couldn't believe what a great deal I had found. That's 80 MILLION bytes!! Of course the biggest program I had at the time was King's Quest V weighing in at 10MB or so.


        He said, "Boy I'm just old and lonely, But thank you for your concern, Here's wishing you a Happy New Year." I wished him one back in return.

        B Offline
        B Offline
        B rad A
        wrote on last edited by
        #17

        I can believe it, the whole package for my computer was around $2,000 and it was refurbished, but did also come with a 17 inch monitor

        S 1 Reply Last reply
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        • B B rad A

          I can believe it, the whole package for my computer was around $2,000 and it was refurbished, but did also come with a 17 inch monitor

          S Offline
          S Offline
          Single Step Debugger
          wrote on last edited by
          #18

          Mine/see my previous response/ came with 14’’ monitor but it was bright new and for about $1200.

          The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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          • L LloydA111

            Look better? :)

            I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

            My operating system kernel the first time it booted

            L Offline
            L Offline
            Lost User
            wrote on last edited by
            #19

            Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

            Look better?

            Only marginally - kill the border all together.

            L 1 Reply Last reply
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            • L Lost User

              Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

              Look better?

              Only marginally - kill the border all together.

              L Offline
              L Offline
              LloydA111
              wrote on last edited by
              #20

              Better?

              I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

              My operating system kernel the first time it booted

              L L 2 Replies Last reply
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              • L LloydA111

                Better?

                I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #21

                Perfect!

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • L LloydA111

                  Better?

                  I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                  My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  Luc Pattyn
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #22

                  Nah. That is boring. All that needed fixing was the color scheme. :)

                  Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                  Happy New Year to all.
                  We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                  Until then, please insert them manually.


                  L 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • L LloydA111

                    WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what happened WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look outside WinErr 012: Window closed - Do not look inside WinErr 013: Unexpected error - Huh ? WinErr 014: Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of. WinErr 018: Unrecoverable error - System destroyed. Buy new one. WinErr 019: User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not! WinErr 01A: OS overwritten - Please reinstall all software. WinErr 01B: Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will suffer a penalty for that. WinErr 01C: Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate. WinErr 01D: System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code. WinErr 01E: Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. WinErr 01F: Reserved for future mistakes of our developers. WinErr 020: Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost. WinErr 042: Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again. WinErr 079: Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue. WinErr 103: Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded. WinErr 678: This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? WinErr 683: Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure. WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available. WinErr 912: Purchase a new copy of Windows today. Old license void. Windows has been deleted.

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #23

                    Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                    WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused

                    Come on, you were waiting ;P

                    Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

                    L 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • L Luc Pattyn

                      Nah. That is boring. All that needed fixing was the color scheme. :)

                      Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                      Happy New Year to all.
                      We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                      Until then, please insert them manually.


                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      LloydA111
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #24

                      What about this? :)

                      I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                      My operating system kernel the first time it booted

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                      • L Lost User

                        Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                        WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused

                        Come on, you were waiting ;P

                        Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        LloydA111
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #25

                        Haha ;P

                        I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                        My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • L LloydA111

                          What about this? :)

                          I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                          My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          Luc Pattyn
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #26

                          :thumbsup:

                          Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                          Happy New Year to all.
                          We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                          Until then, please insert them manually.


                          L 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • L Luc Pattyn

                            :thumbsup:

                            Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                            Happy New Year to all.
                            We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                            Until then, please insert them manually.


                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            LloydA111
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #27

                            Thanks!

                            I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                            My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • Q QuiJohn

                              B-rad A wrote:

                              I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

                              I once paid $250 for an 80MB drive (note the M) and couldn't believe what a great deal I had found. That's 80 MILLION bytes!! Of course the biggest program I had at the time was King's Quest V weighing in at 10MB or so.


                              He said, "Boy I'm just old and lonely, But thank you for your concern, Here's wishing you a Happy New Year." I wished him one back in return.

                              R Offline
                              R Offline
                              realJSOP
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #28

                              I got you beat by a mile - my first 20mb hard drive cost me $700 - and all my friends laughed at me for getting such a large drive.

                              .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                              -----
                              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                              -----
                              "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

                              C M 2 Replies Last reply
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                              • L LloydA111

                                What about this? :)

                                I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                T Offline
                                T Offline
                                Todd Smith
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #29

                                Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                                What about this? I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant. My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                Need more Bob.

                                Todd Smith

                                L 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • R realJSOP

                                  I got you beat by a mile - my first 20mb hard drive cost me $700 - and all my friends laughed at me for getting such a large drive.

                                  .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                                  -----
                                  "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                                  -----
                                  "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

                                  C Offline
                                  C Offline
                                  Christian Graus
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #30

                                  I bought an Amiga 500, I got a 20 MB drive, and I wondered how I could ever fill it.

                                  Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.

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                                  • R realJSOP

                                    Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                                    WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive

                                    This is a list from 1989... I doubt if many of the younger people here even knoiw what DesqView is/was.

                                    .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                                    -----
                                    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                                    -----
                                    "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

                                    M Offline
                                    M Offline
                                    Michael Schubert
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #31

                                    DesqView and DesqViewX were actually way ahead of Windoze at the time in terms of multitasking. They provided pre-emptive multitasking (as opposed to cooperative multitasking in Windows). I worked for Quarterdeck for a few years and used them a lot (including QEMM, remember?). Good times...

                                    R 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • M Michael Schubert

                                      DesqView and DesqViewX were actually way ahead of Windoze at the time in terms of multitasking. They provided pre-emptive multitasking (as opposed to cooperative multitasking in Windows). I worked for Quarterdeck for a few years and used them a lot (including QEMM, remember?). Good times...

                                      R Offline
                                      R Offline
                                      RichardM1
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #32

                                      I owned DesqViewX, used it to do X programming at home, in the late 80's, IIRC. It did do pre-emptive multitasking. Windows did preventative multitasking.

                                      Opacity, the new Transparency.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • L LloydA111

                                        Look better? :)

                                        I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                        My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                        R Offline
                                        R Offline
                                        Rajesh R Subramanian
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #33

                                        Much better! :thumbsup:

                                        “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • R realJSOP

                                          I got you beat by a mile - my first 20mb hard drive cost me $700 - and all my friends laughed at me for getting such a large drive.

                                          .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                                          -----
                                          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                                          -----
                                          "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

                                          M Offline
                                          M Offline
                                          Mark_Wallace
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #34

                                          My first HDD was also 20meg (all the space in the world!), back when they were still called Winchester discs.

                                          I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

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