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Windows jokes

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • B B rad A

    I can believe it, the whole package for my computer was around $2,000 and it was refurbished, but did also come with a 17 inch monitor

    S Offline
    S Offline
    Single Step Debugger
    wrote on last edited by
    #18

    Mine/see my previous response/ came with 14’’ monitor but it was bright new and for about $1200.

    The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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    • L LloydA111

      Look better? :)

      I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

      My operating system kernel the first time it booted

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #19

      Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

      Look better?

      Only marginally - kill the border all together.

      L 1 Reply Last reply
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      • L Lost User

        Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

        Look better?

        Only marginally - kill the border all together.

        L Offline
        L Offline
        LloydA111
        wrote on last edited by
        #20

        Better?

        I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

        My operating system kernel the first time it booted

        L L 2 Replies Last reply
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        • L LloydA111

          Better?

          I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

          My operating system kernel the first time it booted

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #21

          Perfect!

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • L LloydA111

            Better?

            I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

            My operating system kernel the first time it booted

            L Offline
            L Offline
            Luc Pattyn
            wrote on last edited by
            #22

            Nah. That is boring. All that needed fixing was the color scheme. :)

            Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


            Happy New Year to all.
            We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
            Until then, please insert them manually.


            L 1 Reply Last reply
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            • L LloydA111

              WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what happened WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look outside WinErr 012: Window closed - Do not look inside WinErr 013: Unexpected error - Huh ? WinErr 014: Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of. WinErr 018: Unrecoverable error - System destroyed. Buy new one. WinErr 019: User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not! WinErr 01A: OS overwritten - Please reinstall all software. WinErr 01B: Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will suffer a penalty for that. WinErr 01C: Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate. WinErr 01D: System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code. WinErr 01E: Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. WinErr 01F: Reserved for future mistakes of our developers. WinErr 020: Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost. WinErr 042: Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again. WinErr 079: Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue. WinErr 103: Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded. WinErr 678: This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? WinErr 683: Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure. WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available. WinErr 912: Purchase a new copy of Windows today. Old license void. Windows has been deleted.

              L Offline
              L Offline
              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #23

              Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

              WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused

              Come on, you were waiting ;P

              Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

              L 1 Reply Last reply
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              • L Luc Pattyn

                Nah. That is boring. All that needed fixing was the color scheme. :)

                Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                Happy New Year to all.
                We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                Until then, please insert them manually.


                L Offline
                L Offline
                LloydA111
                wrote on last edited by
                #24

                What about this? :)

                I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                My operating system kernel the first time it booted

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                • L Lost User

                  Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                  WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused

                  Come on, you were waiting ;P

                  Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  LloydA111
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #25

                  Haha ;P

                  I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                  My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • L LloydA111

                    What about this? :)

                    I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                    My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Luc Pattyn
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #26

                    :thumbsup:

                    Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                    Happy New Year to all.
                    We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                    Until then, please insert them manually.


                    L 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • L Luc Pattyn

                      :thumbsup:

                      Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                      Happy New Year to all.
                      We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                      Until then, please insert them manually.


                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      LloydA111
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #27

                      Thanks!

                      I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                      My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • Q QuiJohn

                        B-rad A wrote:

                        I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

                        I once paid $250 for an 80MB drive (note the M) and couldn't believe what a great deal I had found. That's 80 MILLION bytes!! Of course the biggest program I had at the time was King's Quest V weighing in at 10MB or so.


                        He said, "Boy I'm just old and lonely, But thank you for your concern, Here's wishing you a Happy New Year." I wished him one back in return.

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                        realJSOP
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #28

                        I got you beat by a mile - my first 20mb hard drive cost me $700 - and all my friends laughed at me for getting such a large drive.

                        .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                        -----
                        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                        -----
                        "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

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                        • L LloydA111

                          What about this? :)

                          I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                          My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                          T Offline
                          T Offline
                          Todd Smith
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #29

                          Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                          What about this? I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant. My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                          Need more Bob.

                          Todd Smith

                          L 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • R realJSOP

                            I got you beat by a mile - my first 20mb hard drive cost me $700 - and all my friends laughed at me for getting such a large drive.

                            .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                            -----
                            "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                            -----
                            "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

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                            C Offline
                            Christian Graus
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #30

                            I bought an Amiga 500, I got a 20 MB drive, and I wondered how I could ever fill it.

                            Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.

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                            • R realJSOP

                              Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                              WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive

                              This is a list from 1989... I doubt if many of the younger people here even knoiw what DesqView is/was.

                              .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                              -----
                              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                              -----
                              "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

                              M Offline
                              M Offline
                              Michael Schubert
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #31

                              DesqView and DesqViewX were actually way ahead of Windoze at the time in terms of multitasking. They provided pre-emptive multitasking (as opposed to cooperative multitasking in Windows). I worked for Quarterdeck for a few years and used them a lot (including QEMM, remember?). Good times...

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                              • M Michael Schubert

                                DesqView and DesqViewX were actually way ahead of Windoze at the time in terms of multitasking. They provided pre-emptive multitasking (as opposed to cooperative multitasking in Windows). I worked for Quarterdeck for a few years and used them a lot (including QEMM, remember?). Good times...

                                R Offline
                                R Offline
                                RichardM1
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #32

                                I owned DesqViewX, used it to do X programming at home, in the late 80's, IIRC. It did do pre-emptive multitasking. Windows did preventative multitasking.

                                Opacity, the new Transparency.

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                                • L LloydA111

                                  Look better? :)

                                  I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                  My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                  R Offline
                                  R Offline
                                  Rajesh R Subramanian
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #33

                                  Much better! :thumbsup:

                                  “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • R realJSOP

                                    I got you beat by a mile - my first 20mb hard drive cost me $700 - and all my friends laughed at me for getting such a large drive.

                                    .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                                    -----
                                    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                                    -----
                                    "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

                                    M Offline
                                    M Offline
                                    Mark_Wallace
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #34

                                    My first HDD was also 20meg (all the space in the world!), back when they were still called Winchester discs.

                                    I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • T Todd Smith

                                      Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                                      What about this? I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant. My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                      Need more Bob.

                                      Todd Smith

                                      L Offline
                                      L Offline
                                      LloydA111
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #35

                                      Who?

                                      I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                      My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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