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Windows jokes

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  • D Dan Neely

    WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available.

    It might've started as a DosErr list in 89, but a computer with >50MB of ram would've been a godly system back then. OTOH given the history of these sort of things I wouldn't've been surprised if it also has a "not enough gigahertz error" as well.

    3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18

    R Offline
    R Offline
    realJSOP
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    Back then, only 640k was usable - the rest was "extended".

    .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
    -----
    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
    -----
    "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

    P 1 Reply Last reply
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    • D Dan Neely

      WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available.

      It might've started as a DosErr list in 89, but a computer with >50MB of ram would've been a godly system back then. OTOH given the history of these sort of things I wouldn't've been surprised if it also has a "not enough gigahertz error" as well.

      3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18

      P Offline
      P Offline
      peterchen
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      heh - I was triggered by the same. The age of the list does not match the amount of memory in any way. (Unless they mixed up memory and disk space)

      Personally, I love the idea that Raymond spends his nights posting bad regexs to mailing lists under the pseudonym of Jane Smith. He'd be like a super hero, only more nerdy and less useful. [Trevel]
      | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • R realJSOP

        Back then, only 640k was usable - the rest was "extended".

        .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
        -----
        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
        -----
        "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

        P Offline
        P Offline
        peterchen
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        ... or "expanded".

        Personally, I love the idea that Raymond spends his nights posting bad regexs to mailing lists under the pseudonym of Jane Smith. He'd be like a super hero, only more nerdy and less useful. [Trevel]
        | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server

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        • L LloydA111

          WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what happened WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look outside WinErr 012: Window closed - Do not look inside WinErr 013: Unexpected error - Huh ? WinErr 014: Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of. WinErr 018: Unrecoverable error - System destroyed. Buy new one. WinErr 019: User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not! WinErr 01A: OS overwritten - Please reinstall all software. WinErr 01B: Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will suffer a penalty for that. WinErr 01C: Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate. WinErr 01D: System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code. WinErr 01E: Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. WinErr 01F: Reserved for future mistakes of our developers. WinErr 020: Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost. WinErr 042: Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again. WinErr 079: Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue. WinErr 103: Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded. WinErr 678: This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? WinErr 683: Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure. WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available. WinErr 912: Purchase a new copy of Windows today. Old license void. Windows has been deleted.

          R Offline
          R Offline
          Rajesh R Subramanian
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          On an unrelated note, your signature area (the yellow, red and black combo) looks HORRIBLE.

          “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

          L 1 Reply Last reply
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          • R Rajesh R Subramanian

            On an unrelated note, your signature area (the yellow, red and black combo) looks HORRIBLE.

            “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

            L Offline
            L Offline
            LloydA111
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            Look better? :)

            I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

            My operating system kernel the first time it booted

            L R 2 Replies Last reply
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            • D Dan Neely

              WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available.

              It might've started as a DosErr list in 89, but a computer with >50MB of ram would've been a godly system back then. OTOH given the history of these sort of things I wouldn't've been surprised if it also has a "not enough gigahertz error" as well.

              3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18

              B Offline
              B Offline
              B rad A
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive :laugh: and a DVD player!! :-D

              Q S 2 Replies Last reply
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              • B B rad A

                I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive :laugh: and a DVD player!! :-D

                Q Offline
                Q Offline
                QuiJohn
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                B-rad A wrote:

                I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

                I once paid $250 for an 80MB drive (note the M) and couldn't believe what a great deal I had found. That's 80 MILLION bytes!! Of course the biggest program I had at the time was King's Quest V weighing in at 10MB or so.


                He said, "Boy I'm just old and lonely, But thank you for your concern, Here's wishing you a Happy New Year." I wished him one back in return.

                B R 2 Replies Last reply
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                • B B rad A

                  I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive :laugh: and a DVD player!! :-D

                  S Offline
                  S Offline
                  Single Step Debugger
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  B-rad A wrote:

                  I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

                  This was my first “real” computer; also including 133 MHz Pentium and 4 Mb of video memory, later upgraded to 16 Mb Voodo 3Dfx because the Quake II emerged! :-D

                  The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • Q QuiJohn

                    B-rad A wrote:

                    I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

                    I once paid $250 for an 80MB drive (note the M) and couldn't believe what a great deal I had found. That's 80 MILLION bytes!! Of course the biggest program I had at the time was King's Quest V weighing in at 10MB or so.


                    He said, "Boy I'm just old and lonely, But thank you for your concern, Here's wishing you a Happy New Year." I wished him one back in return.

                    B Offline
                    B Offline
                    B rad A
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    I can believe it, the whole package for my computer was around $2,000 and it was refurbished, but did also come with a 17 inch monitor

                    S 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • B B rad A

                      I can believe it, the whole package for my computer was around $2,000 and it was refurbished, but did also come with a 17 inch monitor

                      S Offline
                      S Offline
                      Single Step Debugger
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      Mine/see my previous response/ came with 14’’ monitor but it was bright new and for about $1200.

                      The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • L LloydA111

                        Look better? :)

                        I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                        My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Lost User
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                        Look better?

                        Only marginally - kill the border all together.

                        L 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • L Lost User

                          Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                          Look better?

                          Only marginally - kill the border all together.

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          LloydA111
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #20

                          Better?

                          I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                          My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                          L L 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • L LloydA111

                            Better?

                            I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                            My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            Lost User
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #21

                            Perfect!

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • L LloydA111

                              Better?

                              I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                              My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Luc Pattyn
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #22

                              Nah. That is boring. All that needed fixing was the color scheme. :)

                              Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                              Happy New Year to all.
                              We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                              Until then, please insert them manually.


                              L 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • L LloydA111

                                WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what happened WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look outside WinErr 012: Window closed - Do not look inside WinErr 013: Unexpected error - Huh ? WinErr 014: Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of. WinErr 018: Unrecoverable error - System destroyed. Buy new one. WinErr 019: User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not! WinErr 01A: OS overwritten - Please reinstall all software. WinErr 01B: Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will suffer a penalty for that. WinErr 01C: Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate. WinErr 01D: System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code. WinErr 01E: Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. WinErr 01F: Reserved for future mistakes of our developers. WinErr 020: Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost. WinErr 042: Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again. WinErr 079: Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue. WinErr 103: Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded. WinErr 678: This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? WinErr 683: Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure. WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available. WinErr 912: Purchase a new copy of Windows today. Old license void. Windows has been deleted.

                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                Lost User
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #23

                                Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                                WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused

                                Come on, you were waiting ;P

                                Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

                                L 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • L Luc Pattyn

                                  Nah. That is boring. All that needed fixing was the color scheme. :)

                                  Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                                  Happy New Year to all.
                                  We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                                  Until then, please insert them manually.


                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  LloydA111
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #24

                                  What about this? :)

                                  I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                  My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                  L T 2 Replies Last reply
                                  0
                                  • L Lost User

                                    Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                                    WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused

                                    Come on, you were waiting ;P

                                    Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

                                    L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    LloydA111
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #25

                                    Haha ;P

                                    I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                    My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • L LloydA111

                                      What about this? :)

                                      I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                      My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                      L Offline
                                      L Offline
                                      Luc Pattyn
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #26

                                      :thumbsup:

                                      Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                                      Happy New Year to all.
                                      We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                                      Until then, please insert them manually.


                                      L 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • L Luc Pattyn

                                        :thumbsup:

                                        Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                                        Happy New Year to all.
                                        We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                                        Until then, please insert them manually.


                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        LloydA111
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #27

                                        Thanks!

                                        I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                        My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • Q QuiJohn

                                          B-rad A wrote:

                                          I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

                                          I once paid $250 for an 80MB drive (note the M) and couldn't believe what a great deal I had found. That's 80 MILLION bytes!! Of course the biggest program I had at the time was King's Quest V weighing in at 10MB or so.


                                          He said, "Boy I'm just old and lonely, But thank you for your concern, Here's wishing you a Happy New Year." I wished him one back in return.

                                          R Offline
                                          R Offline
                                          realJSOP
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #28

                                          I got you beat by a mile - my first 20mb hard drive cost me $700 - and all my friends laughed at me for getting such a large drive.

                                          .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                                          -----
                                          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                                          -----
                                          "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

                                          C M 2 Replies Last reply
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