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Windows jokes

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
helpgame-devhardwareperformancequestion
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  • R Rajesh R Subramanian

    On an unrelated note, your signature area (the yellow, red and black combo) looks HORRIBLE.

    “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

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    LloydA111
    wrote on last edited by
    #13

    Look better? :)

    I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

    My operating system kernel the first time it booted

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    • D Dan Neely

      WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available.

      It might've started as a DosErr list in 89, but a computer with >50MB of ram would've been a godly system back then. OTOH given the history of these sort of things I wouldn't've been surprised if it also has a "not enough gigahertz error" as well.

      3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18

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      B rad A
      wrote on last edited by
      #14

      I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive :laugh: and a DVD player!! :-D

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      • B B rad A

        I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive :laugh: and a DVD player!! :-D

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        QuiJohn
        wrote on last edited by
        #15

        B-rad A wrote:

        I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

        I once paid $250 for an 80MB drive (note the M) and couldn't believe what a great deal I had found. That's 80 MILLION bytes!! Of course the biggest program I had at the time was King's Quest V weighing in at 10MB or so.


        He said, "Boy I'm just old and lonely, But thank you for your concern, Here's wishing you a Happy New Year." I wished him one back in return.

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        • B B rad A

          I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive :laugh: and a DVD player!! :-D

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          Single Step Debugger
          wrote on last edited by
          #16

          B-rad A wrote:

          I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

          This was my first “real” computer; also including 133 MHz Pentium and 4 Mb of video memory, later upgraded to 16 Mb Voodo 3Dfx because the Quake II emerged! :-D

          The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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          • Q QuiJohn

            B-rad A wrote:

            I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

            I once paid $250 for an 80MB drive (note the M) and couldn't believe what a great deal I had found. That's 80 MILLION bytes!! Of course the biggest program I had at the time was King's Quest V weighing in at 10MB or so.


            He said, "Boy I'm just old and lonely, But thank you for your concern, Here's wishing you a Happy New Year." I wished him one back in return.

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            B rad A
            wrote on last edited by
            #17

            I can believe it, the whole package for my computer was around $2,000 and it was refurbished, but did also come with a 17 inch monitor

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            • B B rad A

              I can believe it, the whole package for my computer was around $2,000 and it was refurbished, but did also come with a 17 inch monitor

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              Single Step Debugger
              wrote on last edited by
              #18

              Mine/see my previous response/ came with 14’’ monitor but it was bright new and for about $1200.

              The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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              • L LloydA111

                Look better? :)

                I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                My operating system kernel the first time it booted

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                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #19

                Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                Look better?

                Only marginally - kill the border all together.

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                • L Lost User

                  Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                  Look better?

                  Only marginally - kill the border all together.

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  LloydA111
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #20

                  Better?

                  I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                  My operating system kernel the first time it booted

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                  • L LloydA111

                    Better?

                    I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                    My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #21

                    Perfect!

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • L LloydA111

                      Better?

                      I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                      My operating system kernel the first time it booted

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                      L Offline
                      Luc Pattyn
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #22

                      Nah. That is boring. All that needed fixing was the color scheme. :)

                      Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                      Happy New Year to all.
                      We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                      Until then, please insert them manually.


                      L 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • L LloydA111

                        WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what happened WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look outside WinErr 012: Window closed - Do not look inside WinErr 013: Unexpected error - Huh ? WinErr 014: Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of. WinErr 018: Unrecoverable error - System destroyed. Buy new one. WinErr 019: User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not! WinErr 01A: OS overwritten - Please reinstall all software. WinErr 01B: Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will suffer a penalty for that. WinErr 01C: Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate. WinErr 01D: System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code. WinErr 01E: Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. WinErr 01F: Reserved for future mistakes of our developers. WinErr 020: Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost. WinErr 042: Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again. WinErr 079: Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue. WinErr 103: Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded. WinErr 678: This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? WinErr 683: Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure. WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available. WinErr 912: Purchase a new copy of Windows today. Old license void. Windows has been deleted.

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                        Lost User
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #23

                        Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                        WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused

                        Come on, you were waiting ;P

                        Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

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                        • L Luc Pattyn

                          Nah. That is boring. All that needed fixing was the color scheme. :)

                          Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                          Happy New Year to all.
                          We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                          Until then, please insert them manually.


                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          LloydA111
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #24

                          What about this? :)

                          I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                          My operating system kernel the first time it booted

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                          • L Lost User

                            Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                            WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused

                            Come on, you were waiting ;P

                            Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            LloydA111
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #25

                            Haha ;P

                            I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                            My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • L LloydA111

                              What about this? :)

                              I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                              My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Luc Pattyn
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #26

                              :thumbsup:

                              Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                              Happy New Year to all.
                              We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                              Until then, please insert them manually.


                              L 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • L Luc Pattyn

                                :thumbsup:

                                Luc Pattyn [Forum Guidelines] [Why QA sucks] [My Articles]


                                Happy New Year to all.
                                We hope 2010 soon brings us automatic PRE tags!
                                Until then, please insert them manually.


                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                LloydA111
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #27

                                Thanks!

                                I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • Q QuiJohn

                                  B-rad A wrote:

                                  I still have my box from 1998 and I believe it has 64MB of ram, an 8gig hard drive and a DVD player!!

                                  I once paid $250 for an 80MB drive (note the M) and couldn't believe what a great deal I had found. That's 80 MILLION bytes!! Of course the biggest program I had at the time was King's Quest V weighing in at 10MB or so.


                                  He said, "Boy I'm just old and lonely, But thank you for your concern, Here's wishing you a Happy New Year." I wished him one back in return.

                                  R Offline
                                  R Offline
                                  realJSOP
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #28

                                  I got you beat by a mile - my first 20mb hard drive cost me $700 - and all my friends laughed at me for getting such a large drive.

                                  .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                                  -----
                                  "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                                  -----
                                  "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

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                                  • L LloydA111

                                    What about this? :)

                                    I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.

                                    My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                    T Offline
                                    T Offline
                                    Todd Smith
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #29

                                    Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                                    What about this? I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant. My operating system kernel the first time it booted

                                    Need more Bob.

                                    Todd Smith

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                                    • R realJSOP

                                      I got you beat by a mile - my first 20mb hard drive cost me $700 - and all my friends laughed at me for getting such a large drive.

                                      .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                                      -----
                                      "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                                      -----
                                      "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

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                                      C Offline
                                      Christian Graus
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #30

                                      I bought an Amiga 500, I got a 20 MB drive, and I wondered how I could ever fill it.

                                      Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.

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                                      • R realJSOP

                                        Lloyd Atkinson©☺ wrote:

                                        WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive

                                        This is a list from 1989... I doubt if many of the younger people here even knoiw what DesqView is/was.

                                        .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                                        -----
                                        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                                        -----
                                        "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

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                                        M Offline
                                        Michael Schubert
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #31

                                        DesqView and DesqViewX were actually way ahead of Windoze at the time in terms of multitasking. They provided pre-emptive multitasking (as opposed to cooperative multitasking in Windows). I worked for Quarterdeck for a few years and used them a lot (including QEMM, remember?). Good times...

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                                        • M Michael Schubert

                                          DesqView and DesqViewX were actually way ahead of Windoze at the time in terms of multitasking. They provided pre-emptive multitasking (as opposed to cooperative multitasking in Windows). I worked for Quarterdeck for a few years and used them a lot (including QEMM, remember?). Good times...

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                                          R Offline
                                          RichardM1
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #32

                                          I owned DesqViewX, used it to do X programming at home, in the late 80's, IIRC. It did do pre-emptive multitasking. Windows did preventative multitasking.

                                          Opacity, the new Transparency.

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