Overheard Conversation of Software Tester buying a Car.
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And don't forget his glowing testimonials.
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus!
Henry Minute wrote:
And don't forget his glowing testimonials
Has he not been putting the cream on them again?
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]
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Tester - Can I drive the car with my eyes closed? Salesman - No you can't drive the car with your eyes closed. Tester - If I repeatedly kick the indicator stalk, will it break? Salesman - Probably. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - If I deliberately crash the car at high speed off a cliff am I likely to be injured? Salesman - The car is not intended for that purpose. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - Does the car come with a manual? Salesman - Yes! Tester - Can the manual be used to light fires? Salesman - Yes, but that is not its intended purpose. Tester - Erm, if I get in the car and dont follow signs, disregard my driver training, deliberately misuse the controls will I get home safely? Salesman - Probably not. Tester - Bah, what kind of car is this? Tester - Are its headlights sledgehammer proof? Salesman - No. Tester - Can it read my mind? Salesman - No. Tester - If I dive out of the door at 60 mph will I be safe, and the car find its own way home? Salesman - No. Tester - If I disregard every rule of logic and deliberately try and injure people by driving recklessly on the pavements will the car keep me and the pedestrians safe? Salesman - No.
Huge Arse: I'm a pointless wanker. Everyone: Yes, you are.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
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Huge Arse: I'm a pointless wanker. Everyone: Yes, you are.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
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Henry Minute wrote:
And don't forget his glowing testimonials
Has he not been putting the cream on them again?
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]
It makes them swell.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
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Huge Arse: I'm a pointless wanker. Everyone: Yes, you are.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
OK, that was funny. :)
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
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Tester - Can I drive the car with my eyes closed? Salesman - No you can't drive the car with your eyes closed. Tester - If I repeatedly kick the indicator stalk, will it break? Salesman - Probably. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - If I deliberately crash the car at high speed off a cliff am I likely to be injured? Salesman - The car is not intended for that purpose. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - Does the car come with a manual? Salesman - Yes! Tester - Can the manual be used to light fires? Salesman - Yes, but that is not its intended purpose. Tester - Erm, if I get in the car and dont follow signs, disregard my driver training, deliberately misuse the controls will I get home safely? Salesman - Probably not. Tester - Bah, what kind of car is this? Tester - Are its headlights sledgehammer proof? Salesman - No. Tester - Can it read my mind? Salesman - No. Tester - If I dive out of the door at 60 mph will I be safe, and the car find its own way home? Salesman - No. Tester - If I disregard every rule of logic and deliberately try and injure people by driving recklessly on the pavements will the car keep me and the pedestrians safe? Salesman - No.
That's one way to take a reputation nose dive.
##### | ##### # _ _ #|# _ _ # # | # | ############ # # | # # # # | | # # | | | | # # | | | | # .-. # | #( O )# | | | | ################. .############### | ## _ _|____| ### |_ __| _ ## # | | # # | | | | | | | | # ###################################### # # ##### OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO -
It makes them swell.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
-
That's one way to take a reputation nose dive.
##### | ##### # _ _ #|# _ _ # # | # | ############ # # | # # # # | | # # | | | | # # | | | | # .-. # | #( O )# | | | | ################. .############### | ## _ _|____| ### |_ __| _ ## # | | # # | | | | | | | | # ###################################### # # ##### OOOOOOO|OOOOOOOWay too much time on your hands, but I have to award a 5 for that.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
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Way too much time on your hands, but I have to award a 5 for that.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
Why thank you, Sir!
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Tester - Can I drive the car with my eyes closed? Salesman - No you can't drive the car with your eyes closed. Tester - If I repeatedly kick the indicator stalk, will it break? Salesman - Probably. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - If I deliberately crash the car at high speed off a cliff am I likely to be injured? Salesman - The car is not intended for that purpose. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - Does the car come with a manual? Salesman - Yes! Tester - Can the manual be used to light fires? Salesman - Yes, but that is not its intended purpose. Tester - Erm, if I get in the car and dont follow signs, disregard my driver training, deliberately misuse the controls will I get home safely? Salesman - Probably not. Tester - Bah, what kind of car is this? Tester - Are its headlights sledgehammer proof? Salesman - No. Tester - Can it read my mind? Salesman - No. Tester - If I dive out of the door at 60 mph will I be safe, and the car find its own way home? Salesman - No. Tester - If I disregard every rule of logic and deliberately try and injure people by driving recklessly on the pavements will the car keep me and the pedestrians safe? Salesman - No.
One silly post, one page full of anger to a complete stranger, what a strange place the internet is.....my job here is done. Byeee!
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It makes them swell.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
I told you not to use the air gun for applying cream. I know it's macho and all, but the swelling is just not worth it.
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
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That's one way to take a reputation nose dive.
##### | ##### # _ _ #|# _ _ # # | # | ############ # # | # # # # | | # # | | | | # # | | | | # .-. # | #( O )# | | | | ################. .############### | ## _ _|____| ### |_ __| _ ## # | | # # | | | | | | | | # ###################################### # # ##### OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO -
I told you not to use the air gun for applying cream. I know it's macho and all, but the swelling is just not worth it.
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
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[quote]OP -If I post crap in the lounge, will I get high votes. Us - No. [/quote] This isn't rude? and an attack on a new member? I was just going with the flow....
No, it wasn't rude. You posted crap in the lounge, and Pete posted an honest (and accurate) assessment of the message. If you want rude, I am prepared to provide an example. BTW, "new member" status does not automatically mean you're allowed to post crap and go unnoticed as a result.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
I told you not to use the air gun for applying cream. I know it's macho and all, but the swelling is just not worth it.
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
But it tickles.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
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One silly post, one page full of anger to a complete stranger, what a strange place the internet is.....my job here is done. Byeee!
Hugh Jarce 1 wrote:
Byeee!
Oh, no! I thought we could keep you around for a comic relief. :)
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
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But it tickles.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
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Oh, very good. That's scrotally the right answer.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
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Ooh. I am cut to the quick by such a shining wit. You are obviously an intellectual giant among pygmies, judging by the subtlety of your post. I stand in awe of your Oscar Wilde style wit.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
PANDERER! :)
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
That's one way to take a reputation nose dive.
##### | ##### # _ _ #|# _ _ # # | # | ############ # # | # # # # | | # # | | | | # # | | | | # .-. # | #( O )# | | | | ################. .############### | ## _ _|____| ### |_ __| _ ## # | | # # | | | | | | | | # ###################################### # # ##### OOOOOOO|OOOOOOOToo bad the site doesn't allow us to post replies in Silverlight. If it did, we could have an animation of a new member putting his head up his own ass.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
