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  3. Overheard Conversation of Software Tester buying a Car.

Overheard Conversation of Software Tester buying a Car.

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • R R Giskard Reventlov

    Huge Arse: I'm a pointless wanker. Everyone: Yes, you are.

    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

    K Offline
    K Offline
    Kasson
    wrote on last edited by
    #24

    My 5.

    With Regards, Kasson. Birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • D Dalek Dave

      Henry Minute wrote:

      And don't forget his glowing testimonials

      Has he not been putting the cream on them again?

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

      P Offline
      P Offline
      Pete OHanlon
      wrote on last edited by
      #25

      It makes them swell.

      I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

      Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

      My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

      D R 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • R R Giskard Reventlov

        Huge Arse: I'm a pointless wanker. Everyone: Yes, you are.

        "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

        R Offline
        R Offline
        Rajesh R Subramanian
        wrote on last edited by
        #26

        OK, that was funny. :)

        "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • H Hugh Jarce 1

          Tester - Can I drive the car with my eyes closed? Salesman - No you can't drive the car with your eyes closed. Tester - If I repeatedly kick the indicator stalk, will it break? Salesman - Probably. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - If I deliberately crash the car at high speed off a cliff am I likely to be injured? Salesman - The car is not intended for that purpose. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - Does the car come with a manual? Salesman - Yes! Tester - Can the manual be used to light fires? Salesman - Yes, but that is not its intended purpose. Tester - Erm, if I get in the car and dont follow signs, disregard my driver training, deliberately misuse the controls will I get home safely? Salesman - Probably not. Tester - Bah, what kind of car is this? Tester - Are its headlights sledgehammer proof? Salesman - No. Tester - Can it read my mind? Salesman - No. Tester - If I dive out of the door at 60 mph will I be safe, and the car find its own way home? Salesman - No. Tester - If I disregard every rule of logic and deliberately try and injure people by driving recklessly on the pavements will the car keep me and the pedestrians safe? Salesman - No.

          N Offline
          N Offline
          NormDroid
          wrote on last edited by
          #27

          That's one way to take a reputation nose dive.

                                      ##### | #####
                                     # _ _ #|# _ _ #
                                     #      |      #
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                                           # #
                        |                  # #
                                          #   #
                               |     |    #   #      |        |
                        |  |             #     #               |
                               | |   |   # .-. #         |
                                         #( O )#    |    |     |
                        |  ################. .###############  |
                         ##  _ _|____|     ###     |_ __| _  ##
                        #  |                                |  #
                        #  |    |    |    |   |    |    |   |  #
                         ######################################
                                         #     #
                                          #####
                                     OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO
          

          Software Kinetics - The home of good software

          P K realJSOPR 3 Replies Last reply
          0
          • P Pete OHanlon

            It makes them swell.

            I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

            Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

            My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

            D Offline
            D Offline
            Dalek Dave
            wrote on last edited by
            #28

            I always thought you were a swell guy! Now I know I was right! :)

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • N NormDroid

              That's one way to take a reputation nose dive.

                                          ##### | #####
                                         # _ _ #|# _ _ #
                                         #      |      #
                                   |       ############
                                               # #
                            |                  # #
                                              #   #
                                   |     |    #   #      |        |
                            |  |             #     #               |
                                   | |   |   # .-. #         |
                                             #( O )#    |    |     |
                            |  ################. .###############  |
                             ##  _ _|____|     ###     |_ __| _  ##
                            #  |                                |  #
                            #  |    |    |    |   |    |    |   |  #
                             ######################################
                                             #     #
                                              #####
                                         OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO
              

              Software Kinetics - The home of good software

              P Offline
              P Offline
              Pete OHanlon
              wrote on last edited by
              #29

              Way too much time on your hands, but I have to award a 5 for that.

              I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

              Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

              My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

              N 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • P Pete OHanlon

                Way too much time on your hands, but I have to award a 5 for that.

                I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                N Offline
                N Offline
                NormDroid
                wrote on last edited by
                #30

                Why thank you, Sir!

                Software Kinetics - The home of good software

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • P Pete OHanlon

                  It makes them swell.

                  I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                  Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                  My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                  R Offline
                  R Offline
                  Rajesh R Subramanian
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #31

                  I told you not to use the air gun for applying cream. I know it's macho and all, but the swelling is just not worth it.

                  "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                  D P 2 Replies Last reply
                  0
                  • H Hugh Jarce 1

                    Tester - Can I drive the car with my eyes closed? Salesman - No you can't drive the car with your eyes closed. Tester - If I repeatedly kick the indicator stalk, will it break? Salesman - Probably. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - If I deliberately crash the car at high speed off a cliff am I likely to be injured? Salesman - The car is not intended for that purpose. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - Does the car come with a manual? Salesman - Yes! Tester - Can the manual be used to light fires? Salesman - Yes, but that is not its intended purpose. Tester - Erm, if I get in the car and dont follow signs, disregard my driver training, deliberately misuse the controls will I get home safely? Salesman - Probably not. Tester - Bah, what kind of car is this? Tester - Are its headlights sledgehammer proof? Salesman - No. Tester - Can it read my mind? Salesman - No. Tester - If I dive out of the door at 60 mph will I be safe, and the car find its own way home? Salesman - No. Tester - If I disregard every rule of logic and deliberately try and injure people by driving recklessly on the pavements will the car keep me and the pedestrians safe? Salesman - No.

                    H Offline
                    H Offline
                    Hugh Jarce 1
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #32

                    One silly post, one page full of anger to a complete stranger, what a strange place the internet is.....my job here is done. Byeee!

                    R N T S J 5 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • N NormDroid

                      That's one way to take a reputation nose dive.

                                                  ##### | #####
                                                 # _ _ #|# _ _ #
                                                 #      |      #
                                           |       ############
                                                       # #
                                    |                  # #
                                                      #   #
                                           |     |    #   #      |        |
                                    |  |             #     #               |
                                           | |   |   # .-. #         |
                                                     #( O )#    |    |     |
                                    |  ################. .###############  |
                                     ##  _ _|____|     ###     |_ __| _  ##
                                    #  |                                |  #
                                    #  |    |    |    |   |    |    |   |  #
                                     ######################################
                                                     #     #
                                                      #####
                                                 OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO
                      

                      Software Kinetics - The home of good software

                      K Offline
                      K Offline
                      Kasson
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #33

                      My 5 too.

                      With Regards, Kasson. Birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • R Rajesh R Subramanian

                        I told you not to use the air gun for applying cream. I know it's macho and all, but the swelling is just not worth it.

                        "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                        D Offline
                        D Offline
                        Dalek Dave
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #34

                        I heard it was applied with thistles.

                        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • H Hugh Jarce 1

                          [quote]OP -If I post crap in the lounge, will I get high votes. Us - No. [/quote] This isn't rude? and an attack on a new member? I was just going with the flow....

                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOP
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #35

                          No, it wasn't rude. You posted crap in the lounge, and Pete posted an honest (and accurate) assessment of the message. If you want rude, I am prepared to provide an example. BTW, "new member" status does not automatically mean you're allowed to post crap and go unnoticed as a result.

                          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • R Rajesh R Subramanian

                            I told you not to use the air gun for applying cream. I know it's macho and all, but the swelling is just not worth it.

                            "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                            P Offline
                            P Offline
                            Pete OHanlon
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #36

                            But it tickles.

                            I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                            Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                            My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                            D R 2 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • P Pete OHanlon

                              But it tickles.

                              I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                              Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                              My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                              D Offline
                              D Offline
                              Dalek Dave
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #37

                              How do you know it tickles? Did you have a few Test Tickles first?

                              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                              P 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • H Hugh Jarce 1

                                One silly post, one page full of anger to a complete stranger, what a strange place the internet is.....my job here is done. Byeee!

                                R Offline
                                R Offline
                                Rajesh R Subramanian
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #38

                                Hugh Jarce 1 wrote:

                                Byeee!

                                Oh, no! I thought we could keep you around for a comic relief. :)

                                "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • P Pete OHanlon

                                  Ooh. I am cut to the quick by such a shining wit. You are obviously an intellectual giant among pygmies, judging by the subtlety of your post. I stand in awe of your Oscar Wilde style wit.

                                  I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                                  Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                                  My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                                  realJSOPR Offline
                                  realJSOPR Offline
                                  realJSOP
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #39

                                  PANDERER! :)

                                  ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                  -----
                                  You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                  -----
                                  "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                  L 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • D Dalek Dave

                                    How do you know it tickles? Did you have a few Test Tickles first?

                                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                                    P Offline
                                    P Offline
                                    Pete OHanlon
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #40

                                    Oh, very good. That's scrotally the right answer.

                                    I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                                    Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                                    My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                                    D 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • N NormDroid

                                      That's one way to take a reputation nose dive.

                                                                  ##### | #####
                                                                 # _ _ #|# _ _ #
                                                                 #      |      #
                                                           |       ############
                                                                       # #
                                                    |                  # #
                                                                      #   #
                                                           |     |    #   #      |        |
                                                    |  |             #     #               |
                                                           | |   |   # .-. #         |
                                                                     #( O )#    |    |     |
                                                    |  ################. .###############  |
                                                     ##  _ _|____|     ###     |_ __| _  ##
                                                    #  |                                |  #
                                                    #  |    |    |    |   |    |    |   |  #
                                                     ######################################
                                                                     #     #
                                                                      #####
                                                                 OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO
                                      

                                      Software Kinetics - The home of good software

                                      realJSOPR Offline
                                      realJSOPR Offline
                                      realJSOP
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #41

                                      Too bad the site doesn't allow us to post replies in Silverlight. If it did, we could have an animation of a new member putting his head up his own ass.

                                      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                      -----
                                      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                      -----
                                      "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                      N 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • P Pete OHanlon

                                        But it tickles.

                                        I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                                        Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                                        My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                                        R Offline
                                        R Offline
                                        Rajesh R Subramanian
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #42

                                        Yeah, I know. What's that Russian gun called again? Some Kalashnikov 47... That could do some serious tickling. Especially with steel core bullets - and don't forget to tip the bullets with the cream, or it could actually hurt. :)

                                        "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                          Too bad the site doesn't allow us to post replies in Silverlight. If it did, we could have an animation of a new member putting his head up his own ass.

                                          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                          -----
                                          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                          -----
                                          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                          N Offline
                                          N Offline
                                          NormDroid
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #43

                                          I could link to my silverlight site and cook up an animation.

                                          Software Kinetics - The home of good software

                                          realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
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